The Curious Charm of Narcissists and Sociopaths

THE WORLD is full of fools who believe with great certitude that they know, can know, the interior lives of celebrities and others. To fill their own coffers, the media fulfills these fantasies with articles about the "perfect couple" or the "perfect family," now-divorced love birds Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston case in point. But there are dozens, if not hundreds, of stories in which the "saintly" mother or the "loving" husband whose child or spouse have gone missing are ultimately fingered for murder.

This reality comes to mind as Gerry and Kate McCann flee Portugal and return to England declaring that they would never have hurt their "lovely daughter Madeleine." The two physicians have been put on the defensive by Portuguese authorities who have named the couple as suspects in their 3-year-old’s disappearance. Friends and family members are adamant that the McCanns would never ever hurt their children. No matter that they are the kind of people who would leave their three children unattended while they dine elsewhere with friends. Murder and neglect are not the same thing, after all.

But I would caution those same friends and family members: wait for the evidence. The wide-eyed Madeleine has been missing four whole months. The McCanns were only fingered as suspects last week, after a redoubled effort to collect forensic evidence reportedly led to the finding of blood in the hotel room from which the child went missing.

I’ve watched this case unfold in the worldwide media as J.K. Rowling and Richard Branson and even the Pope were touched by the search for Madeleine. I have read about Kate’s distress, the couple’s vow to never leave Portugal without their daughter, and their plaintive pleas to some phantom pedophile who stole off with their daughter in the night. But the only only thing I know for sure about the McCanns is this: they are the parents of three children, they are both doctors, and they left their children ages 3 and under in a room alone one night in Praia da Luz.

I’m in no rush to believe anything else. For I’ve seen firsthand and read too much about the charm of the narcissist and the sociopath, empty individuals who feel nothing toward others except entitlement. Who can lie, charm, cheat, and avoid responsibility with the widest of smiles. Check out the symptoms of these creeps, then smile that you are the wiser, and come to a judgement on the guilt or innocence of the McCanns based on evidence. That’s what I’m planning to do.