HUMOR AS DEFENSE MECHANISM

Twitter Imagines Children’s Literature In The Surveillance Matrix

AS THE BREADTH OF U.S. GOVERNMENT SPYING ON the world’s citizens is revealed, some in the Twittersphere are resorting to humor as defense mechanism.

Twitter user Darth solicited #NSAKidsBooks from followers. And it didn’t take long before offerings arrived bearing revised covers of some of our most treasured children’s books. Charlotte’s Web was morphed into Charlotte’s Webcam, Everbody Poops was revised as Everybody Snoops, and the cover of Shel Silverstein’s The Listening Tree is now adorned with microphone hanging from the tree.

THEIR PRIVATE LOVE CANAL

Chris Brown & Rihanna Are Throwing Oblique Shade At Each Other

TOXIC LOVERS RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN are having trouble containing their poisonous feelings for each other. The two pop stars, who renewed their controversial love four years after he assaulted her have been throwing opague vective over what the Daily Mail speculates is contempt over cheating.

Riri got the ball rolling when she posted an oblique message on Instagram Friday saying, “If I drop all my hoes for you and we still don’t work out you owe me some hoes.”

WHAT UP?

Credit: Mashable

Hashtag #Fresh For Twitter’s New Music App

By Jacob Wittich

AFTER BEING THE EXCLUSIVE PLAYTHING OF CELEBRITIES like Ryan Seacrest, Blake Shelton and Ne-Yo, Twitter’s new music streaming app is now delivering music to the masses.

Twitter #Music is an interactive music streaming app that helps users to discover new songs and artists based on what their followers are listening to. The Guardian calls it “an impressive app: easy to use” that reveals as much about the social network’s ambitions as it does new music. Mashable anoints it a “discovery powerhouse for Your iPhone.”

Thanks to the app, in addition to being able to update your followers on when you’re showering, eating, sleeping and peeing, you’ll now be able to tell them what music you’re listening to as you go about your ‘bizness.’

BAD DAY

Justin Bieber’s Bi-Polar 24 Hours: Faints At Concert, Recovers On Joplin, Curses Out Paparazzo

By Jacob Wittich

JUSTIN BIEBER IS RECOVERING AFTER COLLAPSING BACKSTAGE at his Thursday concert at London’s O2 arena.

“Getting better,” Bieber later posted on Twitter. “Thanks for everyone pulling me thru tonight. Best fans in the world. Figuring out what happened. Thanks for the love.” He also generously shared a photo on Instagram of him reclining in the hospital bed with the note: “Gettin better listening to Janice [sic] Joplin.”

TMZ reported that Bieber felt woozy during his set and collapsed backstage, where he was treated with oxygen.

RAP SHEET

Chris Brown & Frank Throw Down; Rick Ross Escapes Drive-By

By Elizabeth C.

CHRIS BROWN AND FRANK OCEAN THREW DOWN OVER THE WEEKEND, ostensibly over a parking spot, but we know it’s more about ego.

TMZ first reported that the two hip hop stars exchanged blows Sunday night at Westlake Studio in L.A. Sources told the online tab that Ocean started the fight when he blocked Brown from leaving. “Frank said, ‘This is my studio, this is my parking spot,” TMZ reports. Which if true, we’ve gotta ask: then why not let Brown just walk out the door?

WTF

Ke$ha ‘Forced’ To Sing Die Young‘s YOLO Lyrics?

By Jacob Wittich

POP STAR KE$HA IS USED TO PROVOKING CONTROVERSY BUT HER LATEST COMMENTS are even more befuddling than the bra she made from fans’ teeth.

The Tick Tock star says she’s sympathetic to radio stations yanking her controversially titled single, Die Young off the air in light of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.

“I understand. I had my very own issue with ‘die young’ for this reason,” the wild child tweeted in a post later deleted. “I did NOT want to sing those lyrics and I was FORCED TO.”

LOVE IN THE TIME OF TWITTER

Credit: RobKardashian on Instagram

Rob Kardashian Spews Venom Then Backtracks On Twitter

By Jacob Wittich

R.I.P. to the couple that used to be Rob Kardashian and Rita Ora, whose romance is over.

Proof of last week’s tabloid reports that Kardashian and Ora went kaput was spilled when Rob ‘tweeted and deleted’ an angst-filled message which everyone assumes was about his ex.

‘RACIST’ FINGER-POINTING

And Now For Nicki Minaj’s Latest Beef, Rapper Calls Steven Tyler ‘Racist’

By Jacob Wittich

ONLY TWO MONTHS INTO HER NEW GIG AND HIP HOP STAR Nicki Minaj has already detonated two of American Idol‘s loudest controversies.

Just as talk of the feud between current Idol judges Minaj and Mariah Carey has subsided, former judge Steven Tyler revived the drama by adding his own two cents about the clash.

A CONFESSOR OF ‘BIEBER FEVER’

Credit: Lockerz

Selena Dumps Justin & His Evolution To Total Rock Star Is Complete

By Elizabeth C.

THE WORLD WAKES UP TO CRUSHING NEWS: THE PERFECT PUPPY LOVE THAT WAS Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber is kaput. US Weekly reports that the twosome ended their two-year affair on Halloween.

After riding their roller coaster of love, which included death threats on Twitter and movie dates for two inside Los Angeles’ Staple Center — the tab reports that Selena finally stepped off due to conflicting schedules and “trust issues.”

SANDY SURVIVOR

It’s A Miracle Of — Antiobiotics? Jersey Shore‘s Seaside House Unscathed By Sandy

By Karen Malmquist

NOT SINCE NOAH’S ART HAS THE THE WORLD read such harrowing taleS of impending doom. Yet while Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc up and down the Northeast, the devastation really hit Seaside Heights, New Jersey. But not to worry: no juice heads or gorillas’ blowouts were harmed in the storm. At least, no famous ones.