SUCK UP ALL THEIR LOVE

The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Some Love Conquers All

By Karen Malmquist

LET THEM EAT CAKE! The jig is up for season three ofReal Housewives of Beverly Hills, and that’s not the only thing that’s over with the ladies this season.

We’re back at the Vanderpump’s wedding anniversary party/ vow renewal ceremony, and Faye’s just told Brandi that she ruined Adrienne’s family. Yolanda and Brandi are still fuming over her ridiculous claims, and Jennifer comes over to encourage Brandi to peacefully continue her conversation with Marisa. Ever the peacemaker, Jen asks Marisa to come back. When Marisa approaches them, she says she understands that it was a bad idea to share Brandi’s “hall pass” text with everyone, and she seems to make up with her and Yolanda. Well, after Yolanda makes a speech about how friends should always stick up for each other and be nice and hold hands and braid each other’s hair.

MEMORIES OF EDDIE

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Of Slimy Things & Steel Rods

By Karen Malmquist

TONIGHT’S THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLs is mostly foreplay as the ladies prepare to wrap their legs around hard rods of steel. Brandi happily shoves slimy food down Kyle’s throat, while Adrienne only shows up briefly to shower five seconds of negativity. How long will the good feelings last?

Yolanda has her dear friend Suzanne Somers over to teach Kyle and Lisa about health and Bellinis. “Why not embrace aging, let’s just hold onto it gracefully,” Yolanda encourages. Kyle says she didn’t know she’d be having lunch with Chrissy Snow, but Lisa hasn’t seen Three’s Company and doesn’t get the reference. Suzanne takes 40 vitamins a day and plans on living to be 110, and Lisa doesn’t get that, either. She doesn’t like the idea of a 110-year-old having a sex life.

SEXY AND THEY KNOW IT

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Paris Hilton Makes A Cameo

By Karen Malmquist

COUNT ON A STRIPPER POLE to bring the ladies of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills together. After a heated Moroccan dinner debate, the doyennes of drama decide to put aside their differences and take a trip to strip away the pain. But first…

We revisit last week’s war of words between Brandi and Mauricio over the still largely unknown Adrienne drama. Kyle manages to talk Mauricio down, but is still disappointed that the evening took a turn for the worse.

A LEGAL SLIPPERY SLOPE

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Call Her, Maybe?

By Karen Malmquist

THE MOOD IS GETTING HEAVIER AND HEAVIER ON Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and even with Adrienne gone this week, the tears, they are a’ fallin’.

Brandi is finished talking with Sheena, and it looks like the two have made peace. She sits down with Lisa for a drink to tell her how the talk went. Brandi starts crying when she tells Lisa how much the affair broke her, and Lisa even starts crying. After Lisa cheers her up by awkwardly patting her hand, Brandi jokingly asks if she likes Sheena more than her.

THE MAIN COURSE IS PETTY

Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Reproach Is Being Served

By Karen Malmquist

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN TROUBLE WHEN THE MORALLY CORRUPT FAYE RESNICK arrives to lay down the law, and SHE isn’t the one being targeted. After getting into a verbal smack-down with Camille in season one, she’s back to lend her wisdom to Brandi on Monday’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

THIS IS EMBARRASSING

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Secrets Of The Crackpot Crazy

By Karen Malmquist

BOOM! THAT’S THE FALLOUT FROM A MAJOR BOMB DROPPING on THE Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, leading to an explosive confrontation between Brandi and Adrienne and Paul. Sides are being drawn, claws are coming out, and Brandi’s being called a bad parent with a drug habit. And all of this over… well, we don’t know. Do we ever know with these women?

TSK TSK

Credit: Bravo

Beautiful Loser: Brandi Glanville’s Got A Problem

By Trisha B.

BRANDI GLANVILLE HAS A BEAUTIFUL FACE, A KILLER BODY, a starring role in a reality TV show and a book deal. She also has a filthy mouth and low self-esteem. Her forthcoming tome, Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders, is about divorce. But I wouldn’t buy it because she continually proves she knows nothing about divorcing well.

TEARS ARE UNACCEPTABLE

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: STFU

By Karen Malmquist

FINALLY! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hils are morphing from ladies who lunch into the mean girls Bravo was hoping for. While Brandi and Kim are playing nice-nice Monday, Adrienne makes a condescending comment, and it’s becomes less clear why these women keep agreeing to dinner parties together.

ACCIDENTAL REQUIEM FOR A SUICIDE

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Awkward Is Served

By Karen Malmquist

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS BE ANOTHER DINNER PARTY FROM HELL! On Monday’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we get a peek inside the mind of Yolanda, former model and current garden frolicker. From contemplating measuring the women before they sit down to eat, to mentally killing the ones who aren’t into sitting around and watching people jam around a piano, Yolanda is certainly an odd one.

HEELS OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Unicorn Party Poopers

By Karen Malmquist

WE WERE TREATED TO THE SLOW SPARKS OF HIGH-HEELED BOYS ON Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as Paul and Mauricio’s bromance reached new heights while racing in high heels for charity. Meanwhile, the ladies begin setting the stage for some serious drama this season.