CONGRATS

Kroy Biermann Legally Files To Adopt Kim Zolciak’s Two Daughters

By Karen Malmquist

BIG POPPA WHO?

After seeing her on the early years of Real Housewives of Atlanta, it might be hard to imagine Kim Zolciak coming out of the franchise in a somehow more stable state. But thanks to her young footballer hubby Kroy Biermann, things keep looking up and up.

News broke that Kroy has filed to adopt Kim’s daughters from a previous marriage, Brielle and Ariana. Because their birth father and Kim’s ex-husband, Daniel D. Toce, has been out of the picture for way too long, Kroy has decided to make his role as a father figure to the girls official.

HE’S JUST NOT INTO YOU

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Gay Dipsticks & Chocolate Playgrounds

By Karen Malmquist

JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT THINK THINK THE CRAZY WAS leavING Kenya Moore’s body, it comes twirling back in full force, like a tornado in fabulous shoes.

The ladies are back from Vegas, and while Porsha is unpacking, she asks Kordell to find her makeup bag in one of her suitcases. He finds the unopened pregnancy test Kandi gave her and, like the ladies in Vegas, urges her to take it. He reads the instructions, and Porsha takes the “wait two minutes after peeing” as “pee for two whole minutes.” She just doesn’t get it at all. A person who can go for that long either needs a trophy or a surgeon. Kordell explains it to her again, and then Porsha takes the test. It’s negative. Looking upset, she asks him how he would’ve felt if it were positive, and he just says “fine.”

HAPPENING IN VEGAS

Real Housewives of Atlanta: The State of Porsha’s Uterus

By Karen Malmquist

ONLY THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA CAN TURN A TRIP to the strip club into a lesson on female empowerment. On Sunday’s episode, after Porsha refuses to attend a famed gentleman’s club in Vegas, the others worry that the reigns may be a bit too tight on her. And later, our favorite southern belle reaches a new level of cattiness.

The ladies are still in Los Angeles, and are getting ready for an excruciatingly long bus ride to Vegas together. But first, they must deal with the aftermath of Porsha’s mean girl comments about Walter the night before. After another dinner gone wrong for Kenya, the next morning she complains to Cynthia about Porsha, who announced to the entire table that Walter a really good time at Kordell’s party. Not even the promise of a party bus can make Kenya excited about this.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

NeNe Leaks Is Engaged!

By Elizabeth C.

WE ALREADY KNOW THAT NENE LEAKES IS A RICH BITCH. But now she’s also rich in love.

The breakout reality TV diva confirmed to Jimmy Fallon that ex-hubby Gregg Leakes proposed to her again just after the New Year arrived. “A little after midnight, I was asked this beautiful question: will you marry me — again?,” Atlanta’s reigning star revealed. And her answer? “Yeah!!!!”

THE ENNUI OF MARRIAGE

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: More Donkey Booty & Yamming It Up

By Karen Malmquist

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE A STRIP CLUB to really test the bonds of marriage. On Sunday’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, the couples return from paradise to face trouble in what used to be one of the strongest-looking marriages on the show. Could Phaedra’s donkey booty not be enough for Apollo?

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: While Kenya Weeps, Walter Worries About Bromance

By Karen Malmquist

THE CRAZY JUST KEEPS COMING WITH KENYA MOORE. Miss “Gone with the Wind fabulous” sashays back to her room after last week’s blowout between her and Porsha, but the drama between Kenya and Mrs. Cordell Stewart is far from over. Cynthia is surprised at how “crunk” the fight got, noting that she and Kenya are very close in age: “Well, if she called me what she was calling Kenya that would surely start a fight.” I believe the word was tramp.

FABULOUSLY DELUSIONAL

Real Housewives Of New Jersey: That Hood Rat Is A Tramp

By Karen Malmquist

THE VERY FORMER MISS USA IS TWIRLING HERSELF into a tizzy over who’s classy and who’s ghetto and who’s the crazy one. (It’s Kenya, people. Kenya’s the crazy the one).

The madness began last week when Kenya started flirting with every man in Anguilla, but specifically Apollo. Phaedra is obviously upset that Kenya asked who she would want Apollo to “have fun” with for a night. Tonight Phaedra and Kenya explain their sides of the story. Kenya says she was just having fun, but Phaedra isn’t playing around.

“Hold On To Your Weaves”

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Holding Their Breaths Vs. Waiting To Exhale

By Karen Malmquist

WELL, IT’S HAPPENED: KIM ZOLCIAK IS NO LONGER A REAL HOUSEWIFE OF ATLANTA but just an Atlanta housewife. We can’t say we didn’t see this coming, as the last two seasons of this Bravo series has seemed more like two different shows: one a Housewives franchise; the other, the Kim-stomping-around-pregnant-and-yelling-at-Sweetie show.

After last week’s contretemps over not being able to go to Anguilla, Kim rips off her microphone, flees the restaurant and swats at the camera saying she’s “done.”

SEASON FIVE, EPISODE FOUR

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Butt Calls Don’t Lie

By Karen Malmquist

IT’S THE MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM DONKEY BOOTY! On Sunday’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra’s famous behind accidentally drops a bomb on Cynthia, seemingly without Phaedra even knowing. A butt-dial to Cynthia reveals Phaedra — or Phaedra’s butt — saying some not-so-nice things about the model.

AN EGO FROZEN IN TIME

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: From 19 Whenever

By Karen Malmquist

NENE LEAKES, MASTER THESPIAN? On Sunday’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, NeNe fantasizes about winning an Emmy, and then offers performing arts students acting advice. Like Lea Michele before her, Ryan Murphy has created a monster