ROYAL IN-WAITING?

Will Cressida Bonas Become The Royals’ Blonde ‘Jointed Doll’ ?

By Elizabeth C.

BLUEBLOOD CRESSIDA BONAS IS PAPPARAZZI’S FLAVOR OF THE MOMENT AS THE BRITISH BEAUTY is in the running to become the Royal Family’s blonde “jointed doll on which certain rags are hung.”

The 24-year-old socialite was rumored to be dating Prince Harry at the time he gave the world a peek of Royal cheek during his now-infamous Las Vegas outing. Since then, we’ve seen neither tight hiney nor gossamer hair of the beauty — until this week when she was snapped on a ski holiday with the hot ginger prince, his uncle Andrew and cousins. The
becoming twosome also allegedly ““kissed like love-struck teenagers in the back of a cinema” at the Pot Luck Club inside Farinet Hotel while celebrating Andrew’s 53rd birthday. ”We couldn’t believe what we were seeing,” a spy told the MailOnline. “They were not being discreet about it.”

MEET THE NEW WENDY; SAME AS THE OLD WENDY

Wendy’s Unveils New Logo; Still Looks Like Prince Harry In Drag

By Elizabeth C.

BURGER CHAIN WENDY’S unveils a new logo today depicting what they say is a modernized version of their mascot. But the ginger-haired girl still looks like a poor man’s Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, or maybe even Prince Harry in drag. (Even as a tween, a red-headed Lindsay Lohan never looked this wide-eyed.)

A PRINCELY GESTURE

Harry Prince Turns Up All Smiles At WellChild Awards

By Elizabeth C.

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT NOW THAT Prince Harry’s turned out to present at the WellChild awards held in London today. The London-based charity aids seriously ill children throughout the U.K.

The most democratic member of the British monarch surfaced for the first time since his history-making naked hijinks in Las Vegas two weeks ago. The scandal provoked a media feasting frenzy and launched a million headlines and naked salutes to the Prince.

TO BE CONTINUED

Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images

Were Prince Harry & His Band Of Bad Boys Doing Drugs?

By Elizabeth C.

OOOMPH, I JOKED TOO SOON: Rumors are rising that Harry Prince’s band of merry bad boys used illicit drugs on the night of his Las Vegas naked bender.

RadarOnline claims to have spoken to an eyewitness:

NAKED LOYALTIES

Peace Breaks Out As Soldiers, Strangers, Stand In Naked Salute To Prince Harry

By Elizabeth C.

HIS NAME MAY BE MUD WITH U.K.’s crusty monarchists but Harry Prince has won the slavish devotion of nudists, narcissists and extroverted soldiers around the globe.

As of 9:45p.m. Central time, 19,288 Harry loyalists — comprised of buff soldiers, lazy dogs, sleeping kitties, unwitting children and plastic Barbies — have joined Facebook’s “Support Prince Harry with a naked salute!” fan page. It’s a veritable smorgasbord of body types and nationalities all honoring Britain’s new favorite son. (Curiously, though, these fans are mostly white.)

PLAYING FOR KEEPS

Coming Next? Prince Harry’s Alleged Naked Romp Caught On Tape

By Elizabeth C.

THE LATEST PRINCE HARRY RUMORS PROMISE A VERITABLE BONFIRE OF VANITIES: an alleged videotape showing the fresh prince romping naked and — if we’re all to be surprised — maybe smoking crack cocaine.

Just joking about that last part, ha ha, but the alleged video definitely melds greed, fame, ambition and social class into a delicious contemporary contretemps.

A PRINCE OF A PLAYER

Splash

The Hilarious Fallout From Prince Harry’s Naked Hijinks

By Elizabeth C.

PRINCE HARRY’S SIN CITY EXPLOITS CONTINUE to generate headlines and outrage, some of them ironic. To wit:

Read more →

A VERY MODERN PRINCE

Credit: Chris Jackson-Pool/Getty Images

Prince Harry Turns Royal Monarchy Into ‘We The People’

By Elizabeth C.

HENCEFORTH FROM TODAY, there is no shame in having your naked picture posted on the web. We have H.R.H. Prince Henry Charles Albert David, a.k.a. “Harry,” a.k.a. “Prince Hot Ginge” to thank for that.

In two blinks of the camera’s eye, Britain’s Harry has morphed a millennium of royal rule into “we the people.” It’s the most democratic thing the House of Windsor has done in centuries.

HARRY WINS THE RACE?

Caught On Camera! Prince Harry Exposes The Royal Jewels

By Elizabeth C.

IT’S THE BIGGEST ROYAL SEX SCANDAL SINCE PRINCE CHARLES WAS RECORDED RUMINATING ABOUT BEING CAMILLA’S TAMPON: Britain’s Prince Harry’s been snapped romping naked with a commoner.

Proving that what happens in Vegas can actually jump international waters, TMZ has published two grainy snaps of the playboy Prince covering his jewels with his hands as an unidentified female wraps her arms around his naked waist.

AN EPIC SWIM MEET

In Greatest Sperm Competition Ever, Ryan Lochte & Prince Harry Perform Swimmingly

By Elizabeth C.

THE CONTESTANTS: OLYMPIAN DOUCHE RYAN LOCHTE AND BRITAIN’S H.R.H. PRINCE HARRY.

THE SETTING: a “boozy” party in a Las Vegas “nightclub pool.”

The prize: winning gold in nature’s sperm competition.