THREE STOOGES

From L to R, Martin, Ruane, Staake

Conspirators Wanted to Make Justin Bieber ‘Jingle Ball’ Less’

By Jacob Wittich

AN OBSESSED JUSTIN BIEBER FAN WAS HOPING TO MAKE THE POP STAR JINGLE BALLLESS.

According to Albuquerque’s KRQE news, Dana Martin, currently serving in a New Mexico prison for the rape and murder of a 15-year-old girl 12 years ago, enlisted former fellow inmate Mark Staake and his nephew Tanner Ruane to kill and then castrate the Canadian pop star.

NO MERE MORTALS

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show: Pretty Preening Nymphs

By Elizabeth C.

IT’S VITAL TO VICTORIA SECRET’s BOTTOM LINE THAT AMERICA’S WOMEN SEE THEMSELVES AS FLORID NYMPHS HABITUATING SOME SECRET GARDEN. The implied promise is that by adorning “limited edition seduction” — sometimes for upwards of $128 a pop — spectacular seed will alight upon them and pollinate their very pretty flowers.

OUT OF HER MIND JEALOUS?

Was Jealousy Motive Of New York’s Slasher Nanny?

By Elizabeth C.

THE MOMENT YOSELYN ORTEGA REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS from a medically-induced coma, New York police asked why she stabbed her two young charges to death.

“Marina knows what happened,” the nanny said of the children’s mother, Marina Krim, who returned home Oct. 25 to find her 2-year-old Leo and 6-year-old Lulu bleeding to death.

Ortega had also slashed her own wrists and neck. Krim discovered the horrific scene when she returned home from a swimming class with her only surviving child, Nessie, and became “psychotic.”

THE VICTIMS

The Human Cost Of Superstorm Sandy: Names Of The Identified Dead

By Elizabeth C.

THE PICTURES AWED, BUT NOW THE HUMAN COST of the Superstorm Sandy emerges.

The death toll reaches 74 in the U.S. and is expected to climb. Neither young nor old, black nor white, were spared by the surging flood waters and near-100 mile winds. Here are the names of the identified dead so far:

A WEATHER SPOOKTACULAR

By Elizabeth C.

THE ENTIRE EAST COAST IS BATTENING DOWN ITS HATCHES AS THE EYE OF HURRICANE SANDY APPROACHES.

The storm is expected to hit land Monday night in South Jersey. Mass transit systems in New York, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. were shut down in anticipation of predicted flooding. Amtrack halted service along the East Coast and The New York Stock Exchange kept its doors closed, as did many schools in Eastern seaboard states. Federal offices in D.C. remained shut.

Altogether, as many as 50 million people between Norfolk through Boston are predicted to be impacted by the superstorm dubbed Frankenstorm.

INCOMPREHENSIBLE

Devastated New York Mother: From ‘Amused’ To ‘Psychotic’ In Three Hours

By Elizabeth C.

TWO NEW YORK CHILDREN WERE STABBED TO DEATH THURSDAY, AND A BLOG ENTRY BELIEVED MADE BY THE CHILDREN’S MOTHER ONLY THREE HOURS EARLIER IS NOW A CRUEL REMINDER OF HOW LIFE’S SHOCKING REVERSALS CAN COME IN AN INSTANT.

Marina Krim returned to her Upper West Side apartment about 5 p.m. Thursday to discover two of her three children, identified as 6-year-old Lulu and 3-year-old Leo, were stabbed to death in the apartment’s bathtub.

LOOK

Digging Into The Subterranean Past Of New York’s Miss Subways

By Elizabeth C.

A MEAL AT A NEW YORK DINER BECAME A SERENDIPITOUS DETOUR into the past for photographer Fiona Gardner. It was there that she spotted “Miss Subways” posters from an old New York transit advertising campaign. The posters depicted young women at their fashionable best spouting education and career dreams and “I realized,” Gardener told NBC New York,”I had stumbled on a piece of forgotten New York history.”

THE NATION REVEALS

New York Police: “We’re Going To Go Out There & Violate Some Rights”

By Elizabeth C.

NEW YORK’S FINEST ARE WAGING WAR AGAINST MINORITIES’ CIVIL RIGHTS WITH ITS “STOP-AND-FRISK” policy, resulting in nearly 700,000 body searches in 2011 — 84 percent of them on blacks and Latinos. The practice is allegedly on the wane, in part because the Bronx District Attorney’s office “essentially accus[ed] the police of wrongfully arresting people,” according to the New York Times.

But the force’s racial profiling and heavy-handed tactics — an estimated 1,800 such stops are made daily — have provoked numerous attacks on its professionalism as well as fear and loathing among New York’s black residents.

Now a secret audio obtained by The Nation captures police threatening a Harlem teenager named Alvin in June, 2011 during a “250” stop.

JUDGE MUCH?

Real Housewives Of New York: Sonja Throws Down(A Napkin)

By Trisha B.PREPARE TO GET REALLY FULL AS THE ACTION GOES from meal to meal, lunch to drinks to dinner. Ramona is having a post vacation dinner and guess who isn’t invited — Carole, Heather and Aviva!


But the first guest is Pamela Morgan, chef and owner of FLAVORS, a cookbook and an event and catering company. As her website bio states: Pamela is highly regarded as a special event planner, culinary consultant, cookbook author, food & entertaining editor for Hamptons’s Cottages and Gardens, culinary instructor and owner of FLAVORS. She is a member of Les Dames D’Escoffier, a leadership organization. Hoity, toity indeed. But she’s really just the hired help.

INDECENT EXPOSURE?

David Beckham Is Packin’ For H&M

By Elizabeth C.

DVID BECKHAM IS PACKIN’.

The tattooed Adonis makes his second appearance in an H&M underwear ad but this time he’s, ahem, arousing more controversy than usual.