FULL HOUSE

The Show With Vinny: A$AP’s Love Is On The Menu

By Karen Malmquist

HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS, BECAUSE it’s about to get super family-friendly up in here. On Thursday’s The Show with Vinny, the family meets rapper A$AP Rocky and British pop superstars The Saturdays, and it’s a love-fest rivaling even the sappiest Full House episode.
A$AP Rocky (no relation to Ke$ha) is about to drop by the house. Vinny’s mom Paola is starting to get out of control when she says she doesn’t know what a rapper is. How can she not know the difference between a rapper and a singer?

Vinny actually practices saying hello to A$AP in front of his bedroom mirror, so it must be a relief when the guy arrives and is totally cool.

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

Credit: MTV

KE$ha’s Crazy Beautiful Life: The Hunt For Bearded Booty

By Jacob Wittich

KE$HA’S CRAZY BEAUTIFUL LIFE picks up right before Glastonbury Festival where the star is set to perform. A series of very unfortunate events, however, leaves her stressed out and scared she won’t be able to pull the show off.

Just one day before the festival, K$ wakes up to find that she has completely lost her voice. Ordered not to talk, Ke$ha reveals her fears by scribbling her thoughts on a pad of paper.

When the next day arrives, she wakes up her voice to discover her voice is back, but she keeps talking to a minimum in advance of the show. She explains that she had a dream that she was at Glastonbury ready to perform and when she opened her mouth, her voice was completely gone.

RUNNING LIKE SHE’S OUTTA TIME

Ke$sha On MTV: Crazy Mixed Up Beautiful Girl

By Jacob Wittich

“LET’S GET DRUUUUUNK!”

The premier episode of Ke$ha’s My Crazy Beautiful Life aired last night, offering an intimate look at two years of the party princess’s first headlining tour.

As expected, the first episode of the six-part series is full of wild adventures involving glitter, alcohol, kart wheels and “lady boners,” but the show also reveals a surprisingly vulnerable side of the star.

CONSEQUENCES

Snooki & Jwoww: Crash

By Karen Malmquist

NOT SINCE THE HANGOVER has a night on the town resulted in so much destruction. Yes, on Tuesday’s new Snooki & J-Woww, things got very, very heavy for the girls and their fiancés after letting loose for Nicole’s first night of fun in over 10 months.

Now that the night is over, Jenni stumbles into bed with Roger, and it is unclear what exactly she is rambling about.

Nicole plops into bed with Jionni (who’s cuddling with Lorenzo) close to 4am, when he tells her she stinks like cigarettes. Well, Jionni told her that. Not Lorenzo. She then moves to the couch, but Jionni has her come back to bed.

WHAT LIES BENEATH

Snooki & JWoww: Picture Perfect (Despite The Secrets)

By Karen Malmquist

THOUGH SHE’S NOT EXACTLY BACK TO PEEING ON decks like her Jersey Shore days, Nicole is now hiding under one on Tuesday’s Snooki & JWoww. And while the meatball is sneaking smokes, Roger’s hiding something of his own.

Nicole and Jionni are still at their romance-reigniting dinner from last week, and Nicole is stumbling down the line between responsible parent and party girl by suggesting she pump-and-dumps at the restaurant while still tipsy. When they get home via cab, they say hi to Jenni, Roger, and Lorenzo, expecting their baby to say hi back. He doesn’t.

DATE NIGHT

Snooki & Jwoww: Goodbye Cankles, Hello Old Friend

By Karen Malmquist

GOODBYE, CANKLES, GOODBYE, INTIMACY! Nicole and Jionni are bickering and losing sleep in Tuesday’s new episode of Snooki & JWoww, but it’s nothing a little (or a lot) of wine won’t fix.

Elsewhere, things get heavy with Jenni and Roger when debating whether or not to visit her mother.

Jenni and her dad go out to lunch and talk about the possibility of her introducing Roger to her mom. The only problem is, she hasn’t seen her mom in almost two years, as she’s been living in an assisted living home with a mysterious medical condition. Jenni’s tried to get her to meet Roger before, but she once told her, over speaker phone with Roger in the room, that she had no intention of meeting him.

THE HONEYMOONERS

Snooki & JWoww: Meatball Rules For Snuggling

By Karen Malmquist

SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY THAT Nicole WAS flashing her cootchie and and fighting with Jionni in the streets of Italy. Nowadays, instead of screaming and punching empty cop cars, they’re stealing parking spots and lying about burping.

On Tuesday’s Snooki & JWoww, the Brangelina of reality television has certainly grown up.

It’s a bit of a Jersey Shore reunion as former roommates drop by to feast their eyes on the wee guido. Deena is the first to visit Lorenzo, and she comes baring gifts: giant Slim Jims for Nicole! Maybe they’re normal-sized, but they appear to be three quarters of Snooki’s height and she couldn’t be happier.

SNIFF SNIFF

The Day Debauchery Died: Mourning Jersey Shore

By Karen Malmquist

WE’VE HAD A FULL DAY OF HEALING AND YET THE WOUNDS REMAIN RAW AS WE recover from one of the most devastating events in television history: the death of Jersey Shore.

THE END OF AN ERA

Jersey Shore Finale: Overly-Attached Guidos

By Karen Malmquist

BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE BEFALLS US, BEFORE FIRE SPILLS FROM THE SKY and the Earth’s crust splits open, let’s take a moment to reflect on the final episode of Jersey Shore. Of course, it can’t be too sappy. There are unmentionables making their way into the roommates’ mouths, and we experience yet another horrific moment in Nicole’s life. But dammit if this isn’t one of the saddest finales in television history.

NO HARD FEELINGS

Jersey Shore Recap: Waking Ghosts In The Machines

By Karen Malmquist

AS THE END APPROACHES FOR OUR FAVORITE HOT MESSES, the Jersey Shore gang to put their differences aside and hug it out like a couple of reunited drunk college girls at a party.