CRIME OF REPITITION

Credit: Joe

Drunk Macklemore Fan Strangled For Singing ‘Thrift Shop’ 25XS

By Elizabeth C.

AND SINCE WE’RE SPEAKING OF MACKLEMORE, HE sends his apologies for having a hand in the strangling assault against a Boulder, Colo. man.

Seems Lars Hansen found it fitting to celebrating his birthday by pouring one on, and then singing, repeatedly, Macklemore’s ode to frugality, Thrift Shop. He was already getting on his girlfriend’s nerves for being drunk. But after the 25th time hearing Hansen singing the same song, 23-year-old Samantha Malson allegedly tried to strangle him.

STARTING OVER

It’s Official: Tiger Woods & Lindsay Vonn Are Dating

By Elizabeth C.

HE’S BEEN SMILING MORE AND HE’S BEEN WINNING MORE, AND NOW Tiger Woods lets us in on his happy secret: he and Olympic Gold medalist Lindsay Vonn are taking a stab at being a couple.

The man who upended his life and his career in his chase for the magic pussy has released a statement on Facebook acknowledging what the tabloids have been reporting for about two months now: that he and Vonn’s relationship has developed beyond friendship.

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

The Secrets You Reveal With Every Facebook ‘Like’

By Jacob Wittich & Elizabeth C.

DID YOU CLICK ”LIKE” ON “The Dollar You Are Holding Could’ve Been in a Stripper’s Butt Crack?” Congratulations, you’ve got “many” Facebook friends.

“Liking” Lady Antebellum might have seemed like a good idea a few years back when Need You Now was dominating airwaves. Now? Not so much — since “liking” them reveals you may not be so smart.

That’s because Facebook “likes” reveal much more than you realize, according to a new study. What you give thumbs up to on the social media site you’re also most likely revealing “your age, how you vote, whether you’re liberal or conservative, if you have a high or low IQ, if you are an introvert or if you are gay, even if you use drugs,” according to the the Los Angeles Times.

LEADING A CLOSED CIRCLE

Sheryl Sandberg Is Selling Herself — With Help From Her Powerful Friends

By Elizabeth C.

FACEBOOK’S SHERYL SANDBERG LIVES INSIDE A DEWY RAINBOW BUBBLE. With two degrees from Harvard, a 9,000-square-foot home and an estimated worth of $2.7 billion, she’s decided that if only working women were more like her, if they just “leaned in more,” they too could become mothers, mentors and wealthy COOs — all at the same time.

That’s the message she delivers in her new book, Lean In which so far has received a de facto endorsement by The New York Times (whose editor has also contributed an essay to Sandberg’s website), a launch party by renown sexist billionaire New York Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, and “sponsorships” from Sony, Google, Johnson & Johnson and American Express. Time‘s put her on this week’s cover. And Cosmopolitan magazine plans a 40-page supplement in its April issue touting Ms. Sandberg’s ideas.

SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL?

Facebook Fans Of Slasher Nanny Suggest Marina Krim Killed Her Own Kids

By Elizabeth C.

AFACEBOOK PAGE SEEKING SUPPORT FOR NEW YORK’S SLASHER NANNY YOSELYN ORTEGA is provoking outrage for suggesting that Marina Krim killed her own children.
The “Support Innocence of Nanny Yoselyn Ortega” asserts the conspiracy theory that the 50-year-old nanny did not kill Leo and Lulu Krim — but that the children’s mother may have killed them in revenge from an alleged tryst between her husband Kevin Krim and Ortega.

Cravings For Social Media Even Stronger Than For Sex, Study Finds

By Elizabeth C.

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, YOU KNOW YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE IT NOW — that smooth slippery thing in your hands.

It’s your phone smart phone (get your mind out of the gutter!), the tool that feeds your addiction to social media.

A study by researchers at the University of Chicago’s Booth Business School found that people’s desire to text, tweet and engage others on the Internet was stronger than sex and cigarettes.

A ROCKER & A HARD PLACE

German Bandmember’s Epic Fail Makes ‘Splash’ On The Web

By Elizabeth C.

IN CASE YOU NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD THE PHRASE, HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF ‘EPIC FAIL.’

OUR COLLECTIVE SOUL

Here’s The Five Most “Liked” Music Videos, Including New Champ, Gangnam Style

By Elizabeth C.

YOU LIKE HIM! YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKE HIM!

K-Pop artist Psy whose kinetic Gangnam Style video has invaded pop culture a staggering pace has just become the world’s “most liked” music video on YouTube, toppling LMFAO from the perch, according to Guinness Records.

AN EVOLVING CONTROVERSY

Dr. Pepper Ad Pits Creationists Against People With Senses Of Humor

By Elizabeth C.

VISUALLY AND CONCEPTUALLY, THE NEWEST DR. PEPPER AD IS SPECTACULAR: IT ILLUSTRATES MAN EVOLVING FROM APE TO ERECT BIPEDAL HOMINID after discovering Dr. Pepper. The tagline reads: The evolution of flavor.

As one commenter on Reddit cleverly opined, “DR. PEPPER CLEARLY SHOWS INTELLIGENT DESIGN.”

But within minutes after the ad was posted on Dr. Pepper’s Facebook page, several creationists took offense at the company monkeying around with their beliefs.

NAKED LOYALTIES

Peace Breaks Out As Soldiers, Strangers, Stand In Naked Salute To Prince Harry

By Elizabeth C.

HIS NAME MAY BE MUD WITH U.K.’s crusty monarchists but Harry Prince has won the slavish devotion of nudists, narcissists and extroverted soldiers around the globe.

As of 9:45p.m. Central time, 19,288 Harry loyalists — comprised of buff soldiers, lazy dogs, sleeping kitties, unwitting children and plastic Barbies — have joined Facebook’s “Support Prince Harry with a naked salute!” fan page. It’s a veritable smorgasbord of body types and nationalities all honoring Britain’s new favorite son. (Curiously, though, these fans are mostly white.)