‘CLASSIC’ DATE NIGHT

Katy Perry Calls John Mayer ‘Boyfriend’ Backstage At Broadway’s ‘Christmas Story’

By Jacob Wittich

KATY PERRY AND JOHN MAYER enjoy a holiday date night, and while we’re not sure whether they made the naughty or nice list this year, one thing is for certain: the two are officially a ‘couple.’

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Princess Kate Is Pregnant?

By Elizabeth C.

WITH A TOAST AND A TUMMY TOUCH, Princess Catherine may be signalling that she’s about to fulfill her royal obligation: to deliver an heir to the British throne.

News senses are tingling after Kate, looking divine in a Prabal Gurung dress, refused wine at a state banquet in Singapore Tuesday. Then this morning, Kate and Prince William toured the Rainbow Centre in a dress designed by Singapore designer Raoul. In the above photo, she (subconsciously?) alights her hand protectively on her womb.

RETURNING TO FORM

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Kristen Stewart Sizzles On Toronto Red Carpet

By Elizabeth C.

SHE SURE CLEANS UP NICE WHEN SHE WANTS TO.

Kristen Stewart braved the red carpet in Toronto tonight for the first time since Us Weekly published photos of her making out with her director on the Snow White & The Huntsman film. The 22-year-old star immediately issued a heartfelt apology but the damage was done to her three-year romance with Robert Pattinson.

That was July 17, and since then there have been numerous reports that a chagrined Kristen was subsisting on Red Bull and ciggies and just generally skipping over hygiene. But tonight at the Toronto premiere of On The Road a film basedon Jack Kerouac’s road trip novel, Stewart was dressed to impressed — and maybe even cause Pattinson’s temperature to rise to fever. The star looked stunning in a sequined floral gown by Zuhair Mura with her hair pulled off her face and falling around her shoulders.
“I’ve loved this book since I was 14,” Kristen gushed to the media.

Just hours earlier she was spotted wearing one of Rpatz’s T-shirts on her way through the Los Angeles airport where she was catching a midnight flight to Toronto.

CONTRADICTION IN FLESH

The Curse Of Kristen Stewart

By Elizabeth C.

POOR KRISTEN STEWART. She didn’t ask for fame, never wanted it, still hates what it demands. But there she is, looking stunning on the October issue of British Vogue, paying the price that modern movie stardom requires:

A MANY SPLINTERED THING

Love, Celebrity Style:

RobStew’s “Showmance,” Tom Cruise’s Wife Auditions & Heidi “Fornicates” With Help

By Elizabeth C.

ANGELINA JOLIE, THE QUEEN BEE OF PUBLICITY, stings Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart for showmancing America. Vanity Fair‘s Maureen Orth digs into the years-long rumor that Scientology interviewed “brides” for Tom Cruise before marrying Katie. And Seal verbally spanks ex Heidi Klum for “fornicating with the help” after pics surface showing her cozying up to her security guard. Today’s love celebrity style shatters temporal illusions of true love.

BREAKING UP MAKES CAPITAL GAINS

Love, Celebrity Style: Real Estate Edition

By Elizabeth C.

NOW THAT THE VAMPIRES’ LOVE NEST HAS BECOME DARK AND FUNEREAL, Robert Pattinson is selling the Los Feliz home he shared with accused “trampire” Kristen Stewart. Camille Grammer is ditching the Malibu mansion she once shared with cheating ex Kelsey Grammer. And Ellen DeGeneres has flipped the modern Malibu spread she snapped from Brad Pitt last December. Today’s Love Celebrity Style plays house.

SOME KIND OF HOLLYWOOD RECORD?

It’s Done: TomKat Is Officially Kaput

By Elizabeth C.

THAT WAS FAST: TOMKAT IS OFFICIALLY KAPUT.

According to E!, the couple’s divorce case was closed Monday after a judge approved the final judgment.

BITCHES BE BITCHES

Love, Celebrity Style: Michael Phelps, Ashton Kutcher, Kanye West

By Elizabeth C.

MICHAEL PHELPS MAKES A SPLASH WITH HIS SEXY GIRLFRIEND, ASHTON KUTCHER dives headlong into love with That 70s costar Mila Kunis and Kanye West declares Kim Kardashian his “perfect bitch.” Today’s Love Celebrity Style is a dog in August heat.

BAD, SAD, MAD

Love, Celebrity Style: Kristen Stewart, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift

By Elizabeth C.

KRISTEN STEWART’S HIDING OUT, KATY PERRY’S SCRAPING LOW AND TAYLOR SWIFT IS SUCKING UP. BAD GIRLS AND SAD GIRLS ARE TODAY’S SERVING OF CELEBRITY HASH. And when we say “sad,” we mean pathetic.

Let’s start with Kristen, the girl who stole a vampire’s heart. After being snapped in flagrante delicto, Stewart is rumored to be hiding out at her parents’ home in Woodland Hills, Calif.

A MODERN FAIRYTALE

Credit: BauerGriffenonline

Is It Time To U-Haul The R Patz Cheating Scandal To The Dump?

By Elizabeth C.

THE SPINMASTERS INSIDE HOLLYWOOD WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK THAT ROBERT PATTINSON IS TWO TIMES THE VICTIM.

Poor sparkly vampire boy has lost some of his sheen after paparazzi snapped his lady love allowing another predator to rub up against her. By itself, this was conceivable as Kristen Stewart has always exhibited disdain for following other’s rules, a penchant which extends to flouting societal norms like not dry humping another when you have a boyfriend.

But then today arrives. Today, when news pushes the boundaries of believable as TMZ — Hollywood’s go-to site for leaking the back story — squeals that RPatz is “UHauling [his] ass” out of the Los Feliz house he shares with the now soiled Snow White.

Okay, this is where we start calling bullshit.