Snooki & JWoww: Best B*tches

CALM DOWN HORMONAL

Credit: MTV

Snooki & JWoww: Best B*tches

By Karen Malmquist

Karen M. JUST WHEN SNOOKI COULDN’T GET ANY CUTER, she gets thrown into a room full of puppies. This is the tallest she has ever looked, but more on that later.

After Jenni continuously denies Roger some action after her and Nicole’s housewarming party, they finally stop bickering and go to sleep. His tattoos look especially intricate in night vision, so at least he’s got that going for him.

The next day, Jenni wants her and Nicole to go to a club in the city called Powerhouse, since they haven’t really had a night out since they moved in. Nicole doesn’t sound too excited, since she’s pregnant and won’t be able to drink and have a good time, and Jenni doesn’t seem to be happy with her already pulling the pregnancy card in her first trimester.

After Jenni’s convinced her to get out of the house, Nicole helps Jenni take her dogs to doggy daycare. The place is called K9-ergarten, and Nicole gets interested in volunteering there. She went to school to be a vet tech, but never got to put her schooling to good use, because she was off doing some reality show in Seaside Heights. Now seems like the perfect time to see what she’s been missing.

At lunch, the girls discuss losing their virginity, and they’re doing so very loudly. The patrons and the waitress try to act like they don’t hear everything, and that they don’t see that Jenni is laying down in her seat right in front of the window.

The next morning, Jenni drags Nicole out of bed for her first day at doggy daycare. She’s feeling sluggish, but she magically gets her Miss Piggy lashes on, and is ready for the day. Jenni tells her that she wants to start learning to cook organically, but doesn’t really explain why. As they’re headed out of the house, they complain about each other under their breaths.

At doggy day care, Nicole is excited to learn that her job will consist of playing with small dogs all day. She also learns that Jenni’s dogs, who she thought hated her, were actually very protective of the little meatball. The dogs all love Nicole, and she giggles as they run around all over her. Nothing in this world is more precious than this moment.

The girls get their nails done before their night out at Powerhouse, and they ask their manicurists if they have kids. One of them does, and Nicole asks if it hurt giving birth. When she says it did, Nicole gets worried, and Jenni explains that she’s “knocked up”. Nicole doesn’t like that term, and says it hurts her feelings, and Jenni apologizes, saying she’s creeped out at the idea of saying she’s pregnant. That’ll make Nicole feel better!

Jenni sticks out like a sore thumb at her cooking class, with her tan and hair extensions and fake nails and eyelashes and burping and whatnot, but she seems to bond with a nice girl named Ashley. Ashley looks like the opposite of her and Nicole, but Jenni likes her anyway and invites her out with them. When she gets home, Nicole gets snippy when she finds out some new girl will be joining them at Powerhouse.

When they get to Powerhouse, Nicole actually really likes Ashley. They talk about clubbing in Jersey City, but notice a creepy guy eyeing them nearby. He tries to buy them drinks, but they can’t handle his skeeviness. He also tries to deny the fact that he was clearly staring at them while awkwardly chewing on a straw. And he was wearing a Kangol hat. Who does he think he is, LL Cool J?

The next morning, Jenni gets a phone call from Roger. He tells her that he heard something on the radio about her being sued, and Jenni has no idea what he’s talking about. Roger sounds mad that he’s hearing this from someone else, and he says that she’s lying to him about it. Now they’re yelling at each other about trust and laying and whatnot, and it even wakes Nicole up.

Next week, their fight continues, and Roger sits down with Jionni to talk parenting. Let’s hope there are more puppies to balance out all the drama heading to Jersey City.