TALLS VS. SMALLS
Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Tribal Warfare
IT’S THE TALLS VERSUS THE SMALLS ON SUNDAY’S Real Housewives of Atlanta. On part one of their big trip to Africa, the ladies put their phones to use and filmed each other on the 16-hour plane ride, which seemed doomed from the get-go when each brought enough luggage to last an entire month.
Their first several moments in the Motherland are spent hauling their bags through the Capetown airport. As a little glimpse of what I’m sure will be a vacation full of screaming, Marlo gives the ladies a little etiquette lesson.
When she shows them how to properly pass the salt, she adds that she is going to be giving them a tip a day. In other words, she’s just waiting for someone to snap at her. In other words, if she gets enough of a rise out of them, maybe she’ll be promoted to a full-time cast member this season. Sheree is not happy about this, saying, “I don’t think Emily Post has a chapter in book about aggravated assault!” Truer words have never been spoken.
In case you didn’t already think Marlo was a complete psychopath, when the ladies get to their temporary apartment (that they’d only be in for 36 hours), she demands the first bedroom, her own bathroom, and needs to know every single time housekeeping would be there. You know, all she would have to do is install some security cameras to keep housekeeping in check.
The next morning at breakfast, Phaedra presented the ladies with compact mirrors with inspirational messages inside. Marlo, of course, did not get one, and she, of course, was upset. Phaedra explains that she didn’t know Marlo was coming, and says she’ll get her one. Sure.
Sheree announces, in front of everyone, that she’s inviting Kandi and Phaedra to a fancy dinner party thrown by a friend of hers. She explains that she didn’t invite Cynthia because wouldn’t she leave NeNe. I smell a fight coming!
Back in the States, Kim is on her own, with Kroy away at training camp and the ladies in Africa. She’s annoyed that Sweetie’s not helping with anything, but her dad lightens things up when he tells Kim that he’s happy she’s with Kroy because he’s the right guy for her. Ariana says that Kroy told her he’s getting Kim a diamond soon. Yay!
Returning to Cape Town, while the ladies are all trapped on a yacht together, Marlo gives everyone a speech about how everyone’s going to be getting along. Interesting, because she started it by saying that Kandi was rude to her a at a mall recently. NeNe and Phaedra discuss their issues, and then Cynthia chimes in to discuss the tiff her and Phaedra’s husbands got into recently. Sheree and NeNe managed to not throw each other overboard.
Sheree, Phaedra, and Kandi are getting ready for the dinner party. Cynthia walks into the room, and Sheree invites her. Bad idea. Cynthia asks if NeNe and Marlo can come, to which Sheree says no. Cynthia says she’ll think about it and leaves the room.
Now we all know Cynthia’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but how did she not know that telling Marlo about not being invited was going to start a whole new fire? Marlo stormed into Sheree’s room, demanded to know why she wasn’t invited, and then hit below the belt with, “That’s why you don’t have a man! Go ahead and mess with those f******!” That was the OTHER F-word she just said. Nothing says “please invite me to your party, Sheree,” by offending an entire group of people. (Margo addresses her slip in a blog:Sometimes we speak without thinking.”)
Apparently hell froze over during this time, because it was NeNe who stepped in to try and play the peacemaker as Marlo and Sheree go toe-to-toe with insults and slurs. The screen fades to black, but I’d say it’s pretty obvious who’s calling who a golddigger.
Karen Malmquist is a junior at La Salle University, and the head writer and star of In Other News, a comedy series airing in Philadelphia.
