THE MIRROR HAS THREE FACES
Pretty Little Liars: Leave The Lamb Alone
By Karen Malmquist
IF THERE’S ANYTYHING SUPERHERO MOVIES HAVE TAUGHT US, it’s to never trust the super hot, charming British dude. And on Tuesday’s Pretty Little Liars, this has never been more true.
Were we really supposed to believe Wren Kingston, who cheated on Melissa Hastings with her little sister Spencer in the pilot, had good intentions? Come on, people.
Kicking things off, the Liars have ditched school, and now they’re sneaking back in. Can’t you be forced to repeat a year if you’ve skipped a ton of school days? There really are no rules in Rosewood. Emily gets a text from her mom, saying that Mrs. DiLaurentis has offered for the Fields family to stay at her house until theirs is fixed. Is it a nice gesture? Yes, of course. Does Mrs. DiLaurentis come off as a little creepy? Definitely. So it’s no surprise that Emily isn’t crazy about the idea. Hanna urges the reluctant Emily to stay there, since it’ll somehow help them find CeCe Drake. Maybe it’s the mystery buff in me, but I’m still not convinced CeCe is as important to the show as we’re made to believe.
Hanna spots Caleb outside in the courtyard, and he tells her that he’s used his mysterious hacking abilities to track down CeCe in Philadelphia, using an old cable bill. Shouldn’t Caleb be using his talents for a more noble cause, like creating the next Instagram or something?
Spencer sees Ezra struggling to find the keys to get into his classroom. To say he’s having a rough time lately is the understatement of the century.
Ugh, and now our obligatory Jaria scene. Their small talk is gag-inducing, especially because Aria continues to be the most pointless character on this show. When was the last time she’s done anything to help the Liars with A/ Red Coat? Never!
Wren is back! He’s talking to Mona at Radley, and asks her how she feels about some sketches of…farm animals? Jeez, what kind of doctor is he supposed to be, anyway? Mona tells Wren that she and the girls are on the same side now, and she got rid of Wilden because he was bothering her. Wren doesn’t believe she “got rid of” anybody. Mona says she knows Wren’s secret, which is…what exactly? That his British accent is fake, and he’s really from Minnesota? He coldly tells her he knows she’s off her meds, and then leaves.
At The Brew, of all places, Toby finds the envelope sent by A, with a note telling him to “Leave the lamb alone, and go for the lion.” I feel like sending this to somewhere more private, like, you know, his house would’ve been a better idea.
Spencer helps Emily move into Ali’s old room, and her idea of making Emily feel less creeped-out is saying that in the 19th century, parents used to pose their newly-deceased children in family photographs as little momentos. Yeah, that should help her not feel weird about sleeping in an (alleged) dead girl’s bed.
Mrs. DiLaurentis comes in and says hi, opening the closet for Emily to move her clothes. She looks shaken when she sees some of Ali’s old wardrobe still in there. Okay, I sort of get keeping Alis decorations up, but her old clothes?
Caleb is at Hanna’s, and she asks him to help her get into Radley. He sternly tells her this is a terrible idea, and instead says that it can’t get any worse for her and the girls. It’s time for her to go to her parents and the police and say that A is back, but Hanna says talking to Mona is the only option.
Hanna meets with Wren at The Brew, asking for help with Mona. He says he doesn’t know if he can help, but Hanna seems determined to get answers. Once she leaves, Wren picks up his phone, and tells someone that, “We have a problem. I’ll take care of my end.”
Spencer talks to Toby, saying the “lion” in Toby’s note must be Dr. Palmer. They decide they’ll need to visit him again in order to figure out who the “blond girl” he warned them about was.
Emily wanders around Ali’s house, and it’s obvious that someone is watching her from outside. Mrs. D is in the living room, crying over some papers she’s reading. Emily asks what’s wrong, and Mrs. D explains that her husband is divorcing her.
Ezra confronts Maggie about his plan to get his name listed on Malcolm’s birth certificate. Maggie is confused, and he hands her an envelope that looks like legal papers asking for paternal confirmation… NOPE! IT’S THE RESULTS OF A PATERNITY TEST AND HE ASKS HOW LONG SHE’S KNOWN HE IS NOT THE FATHER. That’s shady, Maggie. Real shady. Sure, Ezra’s mom is mean, but that doesn’t mean she could take advantage of her money by pretending it was Ezra’s baby.
Hanna catches Caleb about to enter Veronica’s office. He says he’d rather have her hate him and keep her safe than have anything else happen to her. While Hanna embraces Caleb, Wren is seen watching them from the stoplight.
Wren visits Veronica, who understandably doesn’t want to talk to him. He warns her that Mona is dangerous, and doesn’t believe she really wants to help the girls. Although Veronica still looks angry with him for cheating on ex-fiancee Melissa, he thinks she wants to hurt the Marins in particular. Veronica says he could lose his license for talking to her about this, and Wren says he knows, but apparently there’s a reason why he’s telling her.
Maggie and Ezra still talk, and he gets choked up when he says that she let him fall in love with Malcolm. He took him to the movies, knows the names of all his stuffed animals… Oh, I’m not crying right now. There’s just a tree branch in my eye.
Aria is in Philly, trying to track down CeCe using the address Caleb found. She’s on the phone with Spencer, saying that she feels bad for not hanging out with Jake at this very second. Oh my god, are you serious? He’s, like, a block away getting ready for his karate match. For a second I thought Aria was actually being helpful for once, but it turns out she’ll help the cause as long as it means she can pursue a guy.
Mrs. D tells Emily how hard it’s been since losing Ali, and how she kept her room to keep the memory alive. She explains that sometimes she thinks she sees Ali around town, worrying that it makes her seem crazy. Emily comforts her, and says there’s been times when she was convinced she saw Ali, too. In fact, all the Liars (including Aria) have all “hallucinated” that Ali was visiting each of them.
Emily also says that she’s lost someone, too. She tells her about Maya, and Mrs. D says she’s genuinely proud of Emily for coming out, and hopes she finds happiness again. Aww. And they say this lady’s crazy?
Aria finds a girl leaving a the building where CeCe is supposed to be hiding out. The girl in the building says something about CeCe going to LA. The girl says that according to CeCe all five girls were responsible for her getting kicked out of UPenn, and says something about Ali pushing that girl down the stairs.
Hanna is in the DiLaurentis house alone, and little does she know that Red Coat is in there with her. She goes into Ali’s room, and opens Ali’s old music box, which is a playing rendition of Beethoven’s classic Fur Elise.
RED COAT SUDDENLY APPEARS IN THE MUSIC MOX MIRROR, BUT HANNA DOESN’T SEE HER. RED COAT IS IN THE DOORWAY. RED COAT IS RIGHT BEHIND HANNA. I REPEAT: RED COAT IS RIGHT BEHIND HANNA.
I legitimately just jumped in my seat and shouted a nonsensical sound out of pure terror. I almost dropped my laptop! Jesus Christ. Thank god there’s a commercial break, because I feel like I’m having panic attack. Seriously, that was not cool. THIS IS WHY I DON’T LIKE HORROR MOVIES, I. MARLENE KING.
At a local retirement home, Spencer and Toby go to see Dr. Palmer about the note, but he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. He’s losing his memory, so this is going to be a struggle for Team Spoby.
Veronica meets with Mona, asking to talk off the record. Something tells me she’s about to open a major can of verbal whoop-ass on her.
Ezra calls Aria, looking visibly upset about the Malcolm situation. Aria doesn’t pick up, because she’s about to go to Jake’s karate match. I’ve never wanted to hug a TV character more than I do right now.
Veronica angrily tells Mona that if she continues to mess with her family and the other girls, she will makes things very, very bad for her. Mona flatly tells her that Wilden is the one who messed with them, and she got rid of them. Oh, Mona. I was starting to like you for a second.
Spencer tries to jog Dr. Palmer’s memory by playing the sheet music A sent them. It seems to be working, and he starts talking as if he’s back working at Radley. He thinks Spencer is Marion, and asks if Toby will be coming back. Spencer asks about the blonde girl he warned Marion about, and he as he’s about to say something, an attendant comes in and wheels him out of the room, because their session is over. On his way out, he asks for Mrs. DiLaurentis to be sent to his office. Uhh… what the hell?
The three important Liars (sorry, Aria) are at Ali’s, talking about what Dr. Palmer said about Mrs. DiLaurentis. Emily thinks it’s just the dementia talking, but Spencer’s not convinced.
Emily leaves for work, and Spencer and Hanna head downstairs. They ask her about Dr. Palmer, but she says she only saw him once, and he wasn’t her doctor. Or Ali’s. Proving once again that she’s not the completely bad person we once thought her to be, she fills the girls in on her own relationship with the secretive mental institution.
A flashback is shown of Ali playing the old sheet music on the piano at home. Mrs. D comes in, yelling about how she got a call from Radley, saying a girl is there under Ali’s name, wearing her clothes. Ali says, “I can’t believe she did it.”
The girl in question? CeCe Drake. Her mom tells the girls that Ali and CeCe wore each other personalities. Ugh, this is the opposite of what we all want right now.
At the Hastings house, Veronica tells Spencer, Hanna, and Caleb that she is being accused of obstruction of justice. There was an anonymous complaint is that she bullied Mona into her confession, and now Ashley can’t have her as a lawyer.
Okay, there needs to be an option to watch this show without Aria’s boy troubles. She’s with Jake again, because why should she start having anything to do with the plot of this show? She’s never had anything to do with A on this show since, like, the pilot. Anyway, she and Jake make-out after his karate match.
Emily comes back to the DiLaurentis house, and finds Mrs. D, who insists she call her Jessica, knitting a sweater. The electrician who’s fixing the heating system comes in the room, and says there’s a problem.
Meanwhile, Wren is on the phone, talking about Veronica and the confession, and how we can’t trust anyone. He’s at Radley, sketching a picture of a girl in a red coat by that old farm picture. Does the farm house represent that shed Emily was locked inside of ages ago? Has he been running around in heels and moonlighting as Red Coat? Unless… he knew about Ali’s “alter ego”, Vivian Darkbloom. Oh, goodness.
Jessica and Emily go to the basement to investigate the problem, and see the little tunnel thing leading to the crawl space under the house. Jessica suspects that someone was living under there before they moved back in, and goes upstairs to make them some food. Emily is behind her, and when she turns off the lights, sees holes drilled in the ceiling. It looks like the holes were drilled for the mystery person (A/ Red Coat) to look inside of the house.
A is seen rummaging through the damage at Emily’s own house, and for some reason has Ashley’s muddy Manolo in their hand.
Okay, here’s what bothers me about this episode (and what probably bothers the entire fandom, to be honest): What Jessica said about CeCe being in Radley is dangerously similar to what is in the books about Ali having a psycho twin named Courtney who was locked up there. But on a show built around surprises, how disappointing would it be if Red Coat turned out to be CeCe, who every character is already suspicious of? That wouldn’t be any fun, right?
According to King, we’ll find out if Ali is alive on the Aug. 27 summer finale. I’m calling for a prayer circle that A is for “Alive.”
