GETTING CATTY

Grumpy Cat Coffee?

THIS IS ONE STRANGE MARRIAGE OF MARKETING: COFFEE… AND GRUMPY CAT?

Yes, somebody had the novel idea of making a coffee drink to capitalize on a feline meme.

In fairness, a meme based on a real live cat named Tardar Sauce who wears a perpetual frown.

Come September, Grumpy Cat Grumppuccino will be available in coffee, mocha and vanilla.

ACCUSED OF BANK FRAUD

Teresa & Joe Guidice Facing Fate Much Worse Than Wrath Of Caroline Manzo

By Karen Malmquist

CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR TERESA EXPLAIN THIS ONE!

The Guidices are facing up to 50 years in prison if convicted of a long, long, long list of criminal charges.

It isn’t the first time this couple have faced legal problems. Hell, not too long ago, Joe faced 10 years in jail for using his brother’s ID to obtain a driver’s license.

Now, the couple’s got 39 counts of fraud against them.

Although neither of them seem fully capable of forming a complete sentence, the Giudices are accused of withholding information about their net worth in 2009, when they filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. They also managed to “illegally obtain mortgages and other loans from multiple banks by intentionally overestimating their incomes in order to get more money,” according to TMZ.

A DARK BREW

AceKustoms.com

Night Owls Test Higher For ‘Dark Triad’ Personality Traits

THE ADAGE ”NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AFTER MIDNIGHT” probably was written by a “morning lark,” an early-morning riser whose genetic code makes them prefer the a.m. to night.

At least, that’s our theory — after reading about a new study that found night owls test higher for narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathology.

ACCUSED OF BANK FRAUD

TMZ

Teresa & Joe Guidice Indicted On 39 Counts

WILL THEY STAR NEXT IN THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF THE FEDERAL POKEY? Joe and Teresa Guidice, the perennially hot-headed stars of Real Housewives of New Jersey, were indicted by federal prosecutors on 39 counts including conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, bank fraud, making false statements on loan applications and bankruptcy fraud.

If convicted, each faces up to 50 years in prison. The couple, due in court Tuesday to answer the charges, are expected to plead not guilty.

FOREVER YOUNG

Lea Michele Tweets Cory Monteith ‘Forever’ In Her Heart

GLEE‘S LEA MICHELE TWEETED A SWEET PHOTO OF HERSELF WITH CORY MONTEITH TODAY, while taking time to thank fans for their empathy and support following his death.

“Thank you all for helping me through this time with your enormous love & support,” tweeted Michele, who included the intimate photo of the two TV stars smiling above. “Cory will forever be in my heart.”

THIS STORY STINKS

Yale Study: Women Who Can’t Afford Diapers More Likely To Be Depressed

IN A YALE STUDY WHOSE FINDINGS SHOULD SURPRISE NO ONE, “Moms who can’t afford diapers are more likely to be depressed.”

Almost 30 percent of 877 mothers surveyed in a New Haven study reported not having enough diapers to change their children as frequently as they would like. “Women who reported diaper need were nearly twice as likely to experience mental health issues, although the nature of the link is unclear,” the author reported.

LESSER EXPECTATIONS

Real Housewives Of Orange County: Vicki Faces Off With Brooks

By Karen Malmquist

NOW THAT THE WHISTLER TRIP IS OVER, let’s return to normality with the Real Housewives of Orange County. And when I say “normal,” I mean the usual male-centered problems that were put on hold while they were up north.

Gretchen unpacks her bags while telling Slade about Heather’s Malibu Country role and Tamra’s “backstabbing,” and he tells her to just “avoid the negativity.” Seriously, all the husbands seem so done with all their wives’ drama that their go-to is saying “avoid the negativity” because it doesn’t require them to have to listen to everything.

THE DEFINITION OF SCUM

Real Housewives Of New Jersey: The Guido’s Saddam Hussein

By Karen Malmquist

THE BATTLE OF THE JOES RAGES ON AS THE MEN charge at each other, women scream, and a mysterious black substance smears over everyone on the latest Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The poor team leaders who were forced to try and magically fix the estranged family have vanished, as the session goes from semi-productive to WWE Raw in seconds. At one point Joe Gorga’s hat flies off, and Melissa dives to its rescue and places it back on her roughhousing husband’s head. Does not having the hat create an imbalance in his outfit that is simply poison for the eyes? If so, thank you, Melissa, for being so courteous.

HIS ‘PRESENCE IS CHARITY’

Life+Times

Jay Z Opens Up About Travyon Martin Verdict, Fatherhood & Being A Black Role Model

A YEAR AFTER HARRY BELAFONTE TOOK JAY Z AND BEYONCE TO TASK FOR ‘turn[ing] their back on social responsibility,” Jay Z responds by saying just his ”presence is charity.”

In part two of an hourlong interview for the rapper’s Life+Times, Hova tells Rap Radar’s Elliott Wilson that he takes offense to Belafonte’s remarks made in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. He believes, in fact, that he’s inspiration for the black community.

SPY SCANDAL

Reuters

Snowden Won’t Face Death Penalty; His Father Blasts ‘Complicit’ Congressmembers

THE INTERNATIONAL CAT-AND-MOUSE CHASE FOR Edward Snowden continues, with the the U.S. claiming it won’t seek the death penalty against the whistleblower, while the former NSA analyst’s father blasted the government on the Today Show.

In a letter to Russia’s Alexander Vladimirovich Konovalov, Eric Holder asserted that Snowden’s argument for asylum “are entirely without merit.”