A BIRD’S LIFE
Maryland Man Arrested For Crimes Against Poultry
A FEW WEEKS AGO WHILE SHOPPING AT CHICAGO’S HARVESTIME, the low price of chicken breasts provoked me wonder aloud: What’s a chicken’s life worth?”
Thanks to the misfortune of a drunken Maryland man and 70,000 dead chickens, I now know the answer: about 28 cents.
Twenty-one-year-old Joshua Shelton was found unconscious in a T-shirt and boxer shirtsm and reeking of urine and alcohol, inside a Delmar, Md. poultry house Saturday morning.
The birds’ owner rustled Shelton awake, who had no recollection of how he ended up inside the building.
Authorities believe Shelton got drunk off his ass, broke into the poultry house and inadvertently turned off the electric power thus depriving “the flock of food, water and cooling fans.” As a result, nearly all of the 70,000 birds died; authorities estimate their value at $20,000, which equates to about 28 cents a bird, or what colloquially would be called “chickenshit.’
For his alleged crimes against poultry, Shelton was charged with second-degree burglary, trespass and malicious destruction of property.
Via Gawker.
