GOSSIP TO GO GO
Love Celebrity Style: A Shaggy Zuckerberg Wedding, Sex‘s Miranda Gets Married & Jessica Biel Tells A Joke
OH, OVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING! That is, until it splinters, infects and oozes with puss. But I digress! Today Love Celebrity Style is all about the promise, the hope and joy of newlyweds.
Here’s a shaggy love story for you: Silicon Valley’s reigning princess Priscilla Chan was escorted down her “wedding aisle” by a beast. Or specifically, BEAST, a white furry Puli parented by Chan and Facebook titan Mark Zuckerberg. The newlyweds married secretly at their Palo Alto, Calif., home on May 19, culminating a nine-year romance that began at Harvard. ”They genuinely love and respect each other,” Zuckerberg’s sister Randi told People in 2010. “Their relationship is based on two people before all this craziness went down.” The new 20-billion-dollar man and his wife, 28 and 27 respectively, are currently vacationing Italy, where they’ve toured the Sistine Chapel and have reportedly stiffed waiting staffs at two Rome restaurants. In Zuck’s defense, I thought Europeans didn’t tip?
Meanwhile, actress Jessica Biel, preparing for her marriage to pop jack-of-all-trades Justin Timberlake, tells the French magazine Gala that nothing will change after the two trade wedding vowels. “To me, nothing will really change, because I’m almost never home,” said Biel, 30. Hahahahahha. That’s a funny one, Jessica, spoken like a true innocent without the wisdom of years on the marriage battlefield. But that was but one of her bland pronouncements: “I don’t think our marriage will change anything,” she said. “[But] it will be a challenge finding a balance between my private life, family and work, and I’m ready.”
And: “[I’m] someone who lets things happen naturally. For me, getting married doesn’t mean we should limit ourselves to some pre-defined idea. Rather, it’s an opportunity to explore new things in life.”
We wish the couple very much happiness. But we’re putting it on our calendar to check back in five years.
Finally, Sex & The City‘s dour cynic Cynthia Nixon has found true love, or something like that. Nixon, 46, married her longtime partner, Christine Marinoni. People reports that the two have been engaged since 2009 and have an 18-month-old named Max. Congrats to the newlyweds.
