WHAT’S SHE HIDING?

By Elizabeth Coady

YOU’D THINK SOMEBODY WHO ROMPS NEAR NAKED IN BARS, PRACTICES DRUNK DIETING, and glories in outrageous getups would be an open book.

But Stefani Joanne Angelina ‘Lady Gaga’ Germanotta has secrets.

TMZ reports that the pop star last month petitioned a New Jersey federal judge to seal records pertaining to her in a lawsuit between two former collaborators. Former friend Wendy Starland is suing the star’s former boyfriend/producer Rob Fusari claiming that he owes her money for her role in helping to create Gaga’s flamboyant persona.

Gaga argued that releasing case documents containing “sensitive, private, and personal” would “inflict significant personal and professional harm upon” her. On Monday, the online tabloid reported that a judge sealed the court records, agreeing that the information could “seriously injure” the star.

So Gaga’s safe for now — but there’s no way her secrets will be safe forever. Speculation — and claims of inside knowledge — are already leaking on the web. Among the ‘secret’ theories, some of them around for ages: that she has a penis; that she adopted away a love child; that she misappropriated material and persona from Lina Morgana, causing her to commit suicide.

My vote? That the preening phony is deliberately exploiting gays for record sales.