A MODERN FAIRYTALE
Is It Time To U-Haul The R Patz Cheating Scandal To The Dump?
THE SPINMASTERS INSIDE HOLLYWOOD WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK THAT ROBERT PATTINSON IS TWO TIMES THE VICTIM.
Poor sparkly vampire boy has lost some of his sheen after paparazzi snapped his lady love allowing another predator to rub up against her. By itself, this was conceivable as Kristen Stewart has always exhibited disdain for following other’s rules, a penchant which extends to flouting societal norms like not dry humping another when you have a boyfriend.
But then today arrives. Today, when news pushes the boundaries of believable as TMZ — Hollywood’s go-to site for leaking the back story — squeals that RPatz is “UHauling [his] ass” out of the Los Feliz house he shares with the now soiled Snow White.
Okay, this is where we start calling bullshit.
You see that U Haul? It’s situated oddly right at the curb of the driveway. That’s a pretty awkward place to park a moving van — which is usually backed up as close as possible to the door. If I didn’t know better (wink), I’d think that maybe a pap went and rented a truck to snap some picks to sell a photo to generate a couple of hundred thousand clicks for a celebrity website. Sound plausible?
Then there’s the idea that Pattinson would actually hire U Haul. Maybe Hollywood’s A boys routinely rent trucks to haul their shit out of ex girlfriends’ houses, and I’ve jut too many “stars floating around my head. But you’re going too far when you try to convince me that RPatz, who reportedly earned $41 million for the Twilight Breaking Dawn series, is going to schlepp his shit from Kristen’s with a U HAUL???
Rewrite! Someone else needs to cry RPatz a river.
