Grumpy Cat Lands A Movie, And Not A Fruck Was Given

YOU BORE ME

Credit: Quinn Miller Photography

Grumpy Cat Lands A Movie, And Not A Fruck Was Given

MEH, GRUMPY CAT LANDS A MOVIE DEAL, AND NOT A FRUCK WAS GIVEN.

(Is Grumpy C., a.k.a. Tardar Sauce, even capable of meowling through the night? Does a dog bark? Who cares?)

The feline winner of the coveted “Meme Of The Year Award,” bestowed at the 2013 Webby Awards, is once again being thrust into the spotlight despite her deep existential indifference to your being.

Yet because fate has cursed her (or blessed, depending on one’s economic interest) with a permanent scowl, she’s now forced to succumb to Hollywood pimps who want to sell her for cheap lulz.

Already, the 1-year-old Arizona resident has been subjected to “meteoric” success in America’s capitalistic market. She’s been forced to pose for pictures, sell vittles and lend her image to a book.

Now there’s more on her horizon: a “Garfield”-like talkie brought to you by Broken Road Productions, the same jokers who brought you the painfully unaware Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

But Tardar can barely raise her head in acknowledgement. Is she depressed, perhaps suffering from a textbook example of alexithymia? Will anyone take the time to care?

Here’s the takeaway message that Tardar inadvertently relays: It pays to not give a fruck.