THE ENNUI OF MARRIAGE

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: More Donkey Booty & Yamming It Up

By Karen Malmquist

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE A STRIP CLUB to really test the bonds of marriage. On Sunday’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, the couples return from paradise to face trouble in what used to be one of the strongest-looking marriages on the show. Could Phaedra’s donkey booty not be enough for Apollo?

HAPPY ACCIDENT OR MACULATE CONCEPTION?

Bang! Kim Kardashian Is Pregnant

By Elizabeth C.

SURE, WHY NOT START 2013 WITH A BANG: Kim Kardashian is pregnant, eight months after she began hooking up with baby daddy Kanye West.

West, aka Yeezy, aka Ye, aka “Jackass,” announced the bombshell during an Atlantic City show Sunday night at the Revel Resort.

FARCICAL FELON

Britney’s Hoaxster Baby Daddy Has Fantastical Litigious Past

By Elizabeth C.

PITY THAT SUSPECTED HOAXSTER Jonathan Lee Riches doesn’t devote himself to fiction: Britney Spears’ wannabe lover apparently has a wild imagination.

Riches is accused of filing a lawsuit against The X Factor judge claiming to be Kevin Federline’s brother Christopher and fathering her son Sean Preston while she was married
to K-Fed. He also claimed that BritBit stole $4,500 and then mocked his “small penis” when he confronted her about the crime.But The Smoking Gun reports the lawsuit filed Dec. 18 (and dismissed two days later) is the fanciful handiwork of Riches, a convicted felon described as a “prodigious serial litigant. While incarcerated, he filed hundreds of fatuous lawsuits that named a cavalcade of athletes, politicians, musicians, Hollywood stars, and other public figures as defendants,” reveals.

SHE’S A GIVER

Credit: Vogue
Who’s The Most Generous Celebrity of All? Group Says It’s Taylor Swift

By Jacob Wittich

TAYLOR SWIFT’S NEWEST ALBUM may be about heartbreak, but even with a heavy heart she still finds to give.

According to DoSomething.org, Taylor Swift leads as the most charitable celebrity of 2012. In the past year, Swift has donated $4 million to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, $600,000 for flood relief in Iowa and Tennessee and even more money towards music education and anti-bullying initiatives.

PLAYING BY THE RULES

Selena Gomez Flirts With Ronan Farrow, Keeps Justin Bieber Guessing

By Jacob Wittich

LOOK OUT JELENA FANS: there’s a new man in Selena’s sights.

Just weeks after the couple broke up followng Biebs’ flirtation with Victoria’s Secret model Barbara Palvin, Selena herself has been photographed making kissy-faced with Ronan Farrow, Woody Allen and Mia Farrow’s 25-year-old son.

SENTIMENTAL HOGWASH

Lassoing The Moon

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS. We’re a little distracted here at Crabby Golightly celebrating the holidays so we’ll be posting at an abbreviated level for the next few days. But we’re wishing that each and every one of you get what you wish for this holiday season. And that even those whose lives aren’t rich with friendship or family at this very moment can find meaning in the gift of life.

MAKING A LIST, CHECKING IT TWICE

Ashton Kutcher Gifts Girlfriend Mila Kunis With Divorce Papers To Demi

By Elizabeth C.

THE EVER THOUGHTFUL ASHTON KUTCHER is Christmas-gifting his honey Mila Kunis with divorce papers to Demi Moore.

Thirteen months after the former A-list couple announced they were kaput, the Two And A Half Men replacement made it official last week in Los Angeles, TMZ reports. Kutcher and Moore married in September, 2005 despite a 15-year age difference; the beauteous couple immediately became a tabloid staple.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: While Kenya Weeps, Walter Worries About Bromance

By Karen Malmquist

THE CRAZY JUST KEEPS COMING WITH KENYA MOORE. Miss “Gone with the Wind fabulous” sashays back to her room after last week’s blowout between her and Porsha, but the drama between Kenya and Mrs. Cordell Stewart is far from over. Cynthia is surprised at how “crunk” the fight got, noting that she and Kenya are very close in age: “Well, if she called me what she was calling Kenya that would surely start a fight.” I believe the word was tramp.

DIE YOUNG?

Credit: Godammit.com

Study: For Famous Rockers, More Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll — And Death?

By Jacob Wittich

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT SEX GOES WITH DRUGS AND ROCK ‘N ROLL. SO DOES DEATH, ACCORDING TO MARK BELLIS, Director of The Centre for Public Health at Liverpool John Moores University.

A study by Bellis and fellow researchers concluded that famous rock and pop stars are more likely to die at a younger age than the general public, and solo musicians are more likely to die young than members of a band.

SNIFF SNIFF

The Day Debauchery Died: Mourning Jersey Shore

By Karen Malmquist

WE’VE HAD A FULL DAY OF HEALING AND YET THE WOUNDS REMAIN RAW AS WE recover from one of the most devastating events in television history: the death of Jersey Shore.