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Do You think Henri Le Chat Cares About Winning Inaugural ‘Golden Kitty’ Award? Non

By Elizabeth C.

WE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT HENRI LE CHAT’S ENNUI gives way to contentment after he discovers he’s recipient of the world’s first “Golden Kitty” award.

Henri 2, Paw de Deux, a black and white drama depicting the existential morass of a black and white cat, was voted best cat video at the world’s first Internet Cat Film Festival. The event was held Thursday night at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis.

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Pensez-Vous Que Henri Le Chat Se Soucie Pour Son Prix Inaugural “Golden Kitty?” Certainement Pas

By Elizabeth C.

NOUS NE POUVONS QU’ESPÉRER QUE L’ENNUI HENRI LE CHAT FAIT PLACE AU contentement après il découvre qu’il a reçu le premier “Golden Kitty” prix.

Henri 2, Patte de Deux , un drame noir et blanc représentant le marasme existentiel d’un chat noir et blanc, aété élue meilleure vidéo de chat á la première Festival lieu Cat Internet dans le Walker Art Center à Minneapolis jeudi soir.

NETTING THE BIG ONE?

Scottish Skipper Finds Century-Old ‘Message In Bottle’

By Elizabeth C.

A SCOTTISH FISHERMAN HAS CAN LAY CLAIM TO A RARE CATCH: a 98-year-old message in a bottle burped up from the sea.

Skipper Andrew Leaper snared his treasure while fishing in April on a boat called Copius.

BOARDWALK MEMORIES

The End Of A Cultural Phenomenon: The Jersey Shore Wraps

By Karen Malmquist

IT’S THE END OF AN ERA,THE CLOSING OF AN EPIC CHAPTER IN America’s pop culture history: Jersey Shore is ending. The upcoming season will be the reality show’s sixth and final season.

Let’s all bow our heads in silence.

UNAPOLOGETIC POWER

Funny Or Die’s Brilliant Smackdown of Republicans’ “Legitimate Rape”

By Elizabeth C.

IT’S ALWAYS HILARIOUS WHEN WHAT OUR CULTURE GLORIFIES IN TV AND MOVIES — VIOLENCE -IS REVILED when women use it to make a point.

Scores have been written about male reviewers’ reactions to the uncompromising violence of the two female leads in Thelma & Louise.

DENIED PAROLE FOR SEVENTH TIME

John Lennon’s Killer Practices Circular Logic: ”Fame Holds No Value”

By Elizabeth C.

FAME IS RIDICULOUS. IT HOLDS NO VALUE,” CLAIMS THE MAN WHO MURDERED FOR INFAMY.

Mark David Chapman, the prison guard who shot John Lennon to death on December 8, 1980, was denied parole for a seventh time last week. And Wednesday’s release of the hearing’s transcript provides yet more attention to the man who practices circular logic. (Fame holds no value, indeed.)

A BIRD’S LIFE

MattCR on Flickr

Maryland Man Arrested For Crimes Against Poultry

By Elizabeth C.

A FEW WEEKS AGO WHILE SHOPPING AT CHICAGO’S HARVESTIME, the low price of chicken breasts provoked me wonder aloud: What’s a chicken’s life worth?”

Thanks to the misfortune of a drunken Maryland man and 70,000 dead chickens, I now know the answer: about 28 cents.

JUNK FOOD NEWS

Whack Wednesday: Lilo Gets Banished, Tyra Buys Bragging Rights & Holly Madison Is Preggers

By Miz J

LET’S CHECK IN ON HOLLYWOOD SAD SACK, Lindsay Lohan. This week alone, she’s suspect in the “Great Hollywood Hills Jewel Caper AND she’s been banned from her hidey-hole at the Chateau Marmont for skipping out on a $50,000 bill. Oh yes. She’s spent in a MONTH what most people make in a YEAR — mainly on overpriced cigarettes and mini-bar booze.

TO BE CONTINUED

Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images

Were Prince Harry & His Band Of Bad Boys Doing Drugs?

By Elizabeth C.

OOOMPH, I JOKED TOO SOON: Rumors are rising that Harry Prince’s band of merry bad boys used illicit drugs on the night of his Las Vegas naked bender.

RadarOnline claims to have spoken to an eyewitness:

PIRATES’ BOOTY

Real Housewives Of New York: Ho Ho Hos & A Bottle Of Rum

By Trisha B.

WE BEGIN A THREE-EPISODE VACATION ARC WITH THE ladies on the scary little plane from St. Maarten to St. Barths. While everyone’s chattering away about rooms and views, Carole sits silent with headphones. She tells us she’s thinking about her friends, John Kennedy, Jr. and his wife, Caroline, dying just this way. Then, we’re in St. Barths, bitches, and it is stunning.