DIVINE HELP FOR TROUBLEMAKERS

Catholic Church to Designate ‘Patron Saint of Whistleblowers?’

By Elizabeth C.

WHISTLEBLOWERS AND INSUBORDINATES might soon have their own patron saint to beseech in times of trouble.

The Catholic Church’s Pope Benedict XVI is expected to beautify Australian native Mother Mary MacKillop at an October 17th service in Rome.

YABBA DABBA DOODLE

Google Honors 50 Years Of A Modern Stone Age Family

By Elizabeth C.

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT MARRIAGE, I LEARNED FROM WATCHING THE FLINTSTONES.

It’s true. My parents separated when I was three and the only couple I got to watch up close were the bickering blue-collared Fred and Wilma Flintstone. And despite predictions to the contrary, I’m not divorced yet.

UNSETTLED

Still Active: The JonBenet Ramsey Case

Staff

BOULDER, COLO. POLICE ARE HOPING TO RE-INTERVIEW THE BROTHER OF MURDERED BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT JONBENET RAMSEY.

Lawrence Schiller, author of Perfect Murder, Perfect Town, which details the 6-year-old’s murder and the subsequent botched police investigation, told CBS that authorities want to reinterview JonBenet’s brother.

BITTEN

Glee: Jumped The Shark?

By Elizabeth C.

I NEED TO GET ME SOME ANESTHESIA BECAUSE watching Tuesday’s Glee was like being the only sober person in a room full of acid trippers.

The diagnosis for episode two of season two of the much-ballyhooed series: disassociation disorder — and I’m not blaming it all on the driftless Britney Spears hallucinations.

True, the episode did let Heather Morris deliver some deadpan lines and show off her fabulous abs, her wicked dance moves.

BACKSTORY

Real Housewives Of D.C.: Trial By Facebook

By Sexy Chatty Catty

I‘VE BEEN VISITING THE D.C. DIVAS ON A HIT-OR-MISS BASIS, But let’s catch up before Thursday’s season finale.

What had Mary crying at the Salahi winery is an accusation that her daughter, Lolly, was involved in the theft of a car, some clothing and equipment from Tareq’s polo association. It’s all over Facebook (and if I belonged I’d check it out).

REHAB HABITUAE

Will 5th Time Be The Charm? Lindsay Lohan Returns To Rehab

By Elizabeth C.

IN HER CHOICE BETWEEN EVILS, LINDSAY LOHAN HAS APPARENTLY OPTED FOR REHAB.

TMZ, that chronicler of all things LiLo, reports that the drug-addled actress has reported to a drug rehab in South California. This is reportedly her fifth time in rehab.

She’s predicted to remain in treatment until her Oct. 22 court hearing for violating the terms of her probation by testing positive for cocaine.

My guess is her voluntary committment to rehab is an evasive maneuver to avoid the cozy jail cell inside Los Angeles County’s women’s prison in Lynwood, Calif.

Lilo’s retreat comes just days after she evaded spending the next month in jail, and not so coincidentally, an old photograph of her allegedly using intravenous drugs was leaked on the web.

Stay tuned until Oct. 22 for the next chapter in the Lilo true-crime suspense story.

THEY CAME, THEY SAW, THEY SAID ‘MEH’

Aliens? Here? Welcome To My World

By Elizabeth C.

THE STORY CALLED THE EVENTS “ALARMING” AND described as “chilling” the eyewitness accounts of UFOS by former U.S. Air Force officers. But if I ever encounter these so-called aliens, I’ll throw my doors wide open, offer them tea and crumpets, invite them to stick around for a while.

That’s because the mysterious visitors that seven former U.S. military men spoke of Monday at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. allegedly were delivering a message against the world’s nuclear arms, claims UFO researcher Robert Hastings.

IN RECOVERY

Comic Greg Giraldo In Critical Condition

Staff

STOP ME IF YOU’VE ALREADY HEARD THIS ONE:

Comic Greg Giraldo is in critical condition in a New Jersey hospital after accidentally overdosing on prescription meds.

Never heard of him? If you watch the above clip, you’ll never forget him.

DESPERATE TIMES, MEASURES

Mad Men Recap: The Corrections

By Miz J

WHOA. THE THEME FOR TONIGHT’S LITTLE DITTY IS CLEARLY DESPERATION, and the stink of it is wafting off of nearly every single character, whether they know it or not.

It’s a few weeks after Joan and Roger were mugged and had their hot sexy moment in the alley around the corner from the crime scene. Joan quietly informs Roger that she’s “late,” and after some hokey jokes, Roger gets serious. “Are you sure?” Joan shoots him that look she’s so good at and informs him that there’s no one else, and Greg has been gone for seven weeks so it’s clearly not his.

‘LAME’ EXCUSE

Brits Who Abandoned Limping Dog Named Ginger Identified

By Elizabeth C.

ANOTHER ANIMAL DISCARDED LIKE TRASH, ANOTHER DARK HEART REVEALED.

Just one month after video captured 45-year-old British Mary Bale tossing a friendly feline into a trash can, another video has captured a man abandoning a limping dog on an “industrial estate” in Weymouth, England.

The abandoned pooch, dubbed “Ginger” since its rescue, was left after it allegedly bit an 8-year-old boy. The dog’s owner, Andrew Shepherd, says friends were pressuring him to euthanize the dog but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So asked two friends to drop her off at a shelter.

Instead the two, Jenny Hadfield and Michael Hartley, abandoned the dog 300 miles from home and drove off. The two now face criminal investigation.