LUCKY IN LOVE

Stephen Colbert’s Tribute To His Late Mother Will Make You Cry

By Elizabeth Coady

GET YOUR HANKY READY BECAUSE STEPHEN COLBERT delivers a touching tribute to his mother Lorna Tuck Colbert who died last week at the age of 92.

Gone is the faux politician. Sitting in his stead is loving son who deeply adored the woman alighted by love, laughter and faith, and who lived devoid of any bitterness despite her own losses.

“Singing and dancing were encouraged, except at the dinner table,” Colbert says. “…She would teach us how to do stage falls by pretending to faint on the kitchen floor. She was fun.”

Here is the bulk of his words:

THE VOICE

This Is Cher’s World, We Only Gawk In It

By Miz J

CHER’S BACK, YA’LL! WELL, SORT OF.

The sidekick-turned-singer-turned-actress-turned-gay-icon sang on live TV for the first time in 10 on The Voice. Looking like a loopy Lady Gaga inspiration, Cher rocked two weird wigs while she belted out her new single, A Woman’s World. And the lyrics would be so much more empowering if it weren’t for her usually goofy getup.

A PERFECT BLEND

The Good News For CBS: ‘This Morning’ Is Clicking

By Elizabeth Coady

THERE IS GOOD NEWS FOR CBS THIS MORNING: THE show’s ratings are up 19 percent over last year. While still leading among the morning news shows, Good Morning America‘s ratings are up only 10 percent from last year. Meanwhile, Today continues to lose viewers, in part to the fallout following NBC’s clumsy replacement of Ann Curry as co-host. Ratings for the once-dominant morning show are down 8 percent.

Is Tiffany Network’s Shine Being Dulled By Obama Partisans?

By Elizabeth Coady

THINGS MUST BE AWFULLY LONELY FOR CBS’ INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER SHARYL ATTKISSON at the Tiffany Network.

Attkisson is speaking out after cyber experts confirmed that her personal and work computers were hacked, an act she calls “a very serious and disturbing matter.” She also says she knows who the culprit is, but that her lawyers have told her not to say.

The CBS veteran has been described as a “persistent voice of media skepticism” about the Obama Administration’s statements on the deadly events at the U.S. compound in Benghazi.

UNMASKING THE TRUTH

Mad Men: Monsters

By Miz J

“THE QUALITY OF MERCY” PICKS APART those instances where a person must choose to finish their opponent or show mercy…and all the shades in between. Pete finds a way to outsmart a formidable opponent; Peggy and Don parry and thrust while showing no mercy to each other; Sally finds herself in the middle of a prep school beehive years before Pretty LIttle Liars could provide her with a playbook. Hold on to your hats, folks, we’re in for a hell of a ride.

Megan wakes, alone, and wanders into Sally’s room to find Don asleep in the tiny twin bed. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to pull back on the throttle, honey,” she tells him. He’s looking worse for the wear and chugs some orange juice, instead of going into the office. He lazily channel surfs between Megan’s soap, a Nixon commercial decrying the recent waves of crime, some other crap, and then he shuts off (or, rather, shuts up) the TV.

VICKI GOES MEAN GIRL

Real Housewives Of Orange County: Pissed Off & Pissed On

By Karen Malmquist

WHAT HAPPENS IN MEXICO STAYS BURNED INTO OUR MINDS FOR ETERNITY, no matter how hard we try to shake the image of the Real Housewives of Orange County getting their heads shoved into a stripper’s crotch. Bonus: Vicki wets herself.

Tamra’s bachelorette party got off to a bad start, with Gretchen and Heather getting ditched at a restaurant by Tamra, Lydia, and ringleader Vicki. After they decide they’re done waiting for their missing friends to find them, they call a cab for the hotel, leaving the limo for the lost ladies.

NEGOTIATING DOWN

Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Teetering On (Emotional) Bankruptcy

By Karen Malmquist

WHILE NO TABLES GET TOSSED BY ANY TGorga family member, Melissa and Joe’s home life is crumbling. Now before you start a prayer circle for our favorite over-sharing PDA couple on Real Housewives of New Jersey, I meant to say it is literally crumbling. The infrastructure of the house gets pulled apart by the chunks at a showing of their house. Who knew marble sinks were so fragile?

But what would an episode of this show be without the tireless family drama?

A IS FOR ALIVE

By Karen Malmquist

BODIES AND DOLLS AND PIGS, OH MY! For the first time ever, we’re getting answers! A hell of a lot of answers.

On the season four premiere of Pretty Little Liars, Mona spills some serious secrets. And not just the dirt she’s been blackmailing them with for two years.

We last saw the Liars, joined by Mona, about to open the trunk of Detective Wilden’s police car. You know, the one Hanna and Aria pushed into the lake? It’s back on the street, and when the five girls approached it, got a text saying, “You’re mine now. Kisses. –A”

It’s in red font. Red font = Red Coat.

Also, what kind of phone lets you text in different colors? Can I have one?

DISCOVERED

Mad Men: Naked Liaisons

By Miz J

WHETHER RIGHT A WRONG OR EVENING A SCORE, everyone is banking on favors this week. This week we explore the fallout when someone grants or receives one.

It all starts with Peggy getting ready for work and spying a rat in her new house — which is very telling, because lately, she’s been surrounded by them.

As the day begins, Pete’s mother and her caretaker Manolo visit the office, and Peggy ends up chatting with her. It becomes clear very quickly how scrambled Mrs. Campbell’s brains are, as she tells Peggy how excited she is that she’s reunited with Peter, “if nothing else, then for the good of the child you have together.” Professional, got-it-all-together Peggy doesn’t like to be reminded of that time in her life…or that she made a baby with that weasel. But that’s not even the worst part.

LOVERS & LIARS

Real Housewives Of Orange County: Literal & Figurative Deep Throats

By Karen Malmquist

THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT no one should ever have to see. Vicki Gunvalson deep-throating a penis lollipop topS that list. Unfortunately, the last time we watched Real Housewives of Orange County, that’s exactly what happens.

Tamra opens the episode by pulling out a big knife for whipping up a cheese plate for when Lydia comes over. After Lydia admires how classy her dark wood floors are, she suggests that she and Alexis have a sit-down to resolve what now seems like a long-running fight about nothing. Oh, wait, that’s definitely what it’s about. You can see it in her eyes that Tamra’s got the old angel-on-one-shoulder-telling-her-to-make-nice/ devil-on-the-other-shoulder-telling-her-to-figuratively-screw-Alexis thing going on right now.