50 & FABULOUS

Credit: NBC

Here’s The Transcript Of Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes Speech

By Elizabeth C.

FOR THE MOST PART, THE 70TH ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS WAS A CONVIVIAL AFFAIR, a toast to Hollywood’s brightest stars and biggest talents of film and television this year. But it was Jodie Foster’s poignant, personal speech after receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award that gave the night its heart.

Looking drop-dead gorgeous, and half her age, the actress who turned 50 on Nov. 19, gave tribute to her loved ones and long-time friends and colleagues while pulling us along on her emotional reckoning with the idea of aging. Many thought she was announcing her retirement; in fact she was acknowledging there would come a time when she would no longer be able to work.

“I can’t help but get moony,” the two-time Oscar winner told the audience inside the ballroom at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

SNACKIN’ ON NEWSBITS

Whack Wednesday: Kim K. Is (Mary) Poppin’ In Paris, Kotex Is In ‘The Know,’ & Chicago ‘Killing’ Capitol?

By Miz J

I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK I SAID YOU GUYS ABOUT THE KIMYE BABY BEING FASHIONABLE. Take a look at this…sack…cape…hoodie…thing that Kim is wearing and tell me with a straight face that this is something a stylish person would wear.

WHO HAD MEANS & MOTIVE?

Chicagoan Poisoned With Cynanide Day After Collecting $426K Lottery Winnings

By Elizabeth C.

DETECTIVES HAVE OPENED A MURDER INVESTIGATION AFTER lab tests found that a Chicago dry clean owner died from cyanide poisoning one day after collecting about $425,000 in lottery winnings.

“Winning the lottery means everything to me,” Khan said at his June 26 winning ceremony. It apparently also meant losing his life.

TOO CLOSE

Chicago’s ‘Close’ Call With Alex Clare

By Jacob Wittich

BRITISH SINGER-SONGWRITER ALEX CLARE BROUGHT his band to Chicago’s Metro Theater Sunday night to deliver a satisfying performance of his alternative rock sound.

Slow off the start, Clare entered the stage after being introduced by his band mates, then took a few moments to settle in before seducing the crowd with the eerie Relax My Beloved. He followed that up with Whispering, both off his first album, The Lateness of the Hour.

COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING

Credit: Gawker/Getty

Report: Jesse Jackson Jr. Negotiating With Feds On Plea Deal

By Elizabeth C.

BIPOLAR WINNING CONGRESSMAN JESSE JACKSON JR. is negotiating a plea deal with federal prosecutors over charges that he misused campaign funds, the Chicago Sun-Times is reporting.

A secret source told the Chicago newspaper, “No one has pled guilty, but plea discussions are ongoing.”

BEWARE CHICAGO

This Burleque Zombie Apocalypse Will Live For Three More Nights

By Elizabeth C.

THE PRESS RELEASE ASKS, “CAN SOUTHERN GUY RESIST THE SEXIEST APOCALYPSE EVER?” And since “Southern Guy” is really a Chicago gal in disguise, I figured I could field this one: No, he cannot.

Thus what appears above is a promotional snap from Chicago’s Gorilla Tango Theatre for Boobs Of The Dead: A Walking Dead Burlesque, being held over for three more performances this weekend “so even those folks who move slower than well, zombies, can check out our hot decaying babes!”

THE TRUMAN SHOW

Tom Hanks’ Son Spills On Reddit, Inadvertently Outs Bro’ Chet As Porn Lover

By Elizabeth C.

TOM HANKS’ YOUNGEST SON DRUNK DIALED THE WEB EARLY TODAY, inviting anybody to ask him anything on reddit And in doing so he outed his rapping bro Chet as an admirer of naked girls on the web.

TEMPTED FATE

Another Down In Chiraq’s Gang War: Rapper ‘Lil JoJo’ Is Dead

By Elizabeth C.

CHICAGO’S BODY COUNT GOES UP after rising rapper Joseph ‘Lil JoJo’ Coleman is gunned down on the city’s Southside Wednesday night.

Coleman, described as 16, 17 and 18 in various reports, was shot in the back while riding double on a bicycle when someone opened fire reportedly from a beige low-riding Ford Taurus. The Chicago Sun-Times and Complex reveal that the kid had been engaged in a war of words with rival rapper Keith ‘Chief Keef’ Cozart and others.

FROM EPICURE TO EPICURUS

Scott Strazzante/ChicagoTribune

The Kitchen’s Closed: Legendary Chef Charlie Trotter Bows Out

By Elizabeth C.

FIRST RICHARD DALEY LEFT OFFICE. Then Oprah skipped town. Now, ending an era in Chicago’s gastronomical history, Charlie Trotter has shuttered his legendary eponymous restaurant in Lincoln Park.

For 25 years, the discreet entranceway at 816 W. Armitage Ave. led well-heeled diners into a gastric wonderland. The restaurant put Chicago on the foodies’ map, and turned Trotter into an industry icon.

“What we owe to Charlie is Charlie taught us how to dine,” Gale Gand, acclaimed restauranteur of Tru, told the Chicago Tribune for a lengthy story on Trotter’s legacy — and quicksilver temperament. “He was instrumental just in putting Chicago on the culinary map and really helping us understand fine dining.”

MONEY TALKS LOUDEST

Lil Mouse’s Incendiary Video Incites Faux Outrage In Chi-Raq

FAUX OUTRAGE IS BUBBLIN’ IN CHI-RAQ OVER A NEW MUSIC VIDEO showing a 13-year-old kid flashing cash and dropping “F” bombs in a song about smokin’ somebody with a gun.

The rapper is Lil Mouse, star of the YouTube offering Get Smoked, which waxes rhythmically about “lame niggas gettin’ killed,” “fucking around and gettin’ smoked.”

“This warrants an investigation,” Chicago rapper Che ‘Rhymefest’ Smith tells the Sun-Times. “This has clearly crossed over into child pornography when you have a 13-year-old child rapping about sex and about violence and drug selling.”

Even Mary Mitchell, Chicago’s implicit interpreter of the hood to the lily white Northside, is spewing shock over the incendiary video.