PREDICTABILITY?

How Rude! John Stamos Tweets ‘Stay Sober’ To Divorcing Jodie Sweetin

By Miz J

STEPHANIE TANNER’S HOUSE IS A little less full these days. Jodie Sweetin, the actress and former meth addict of the TGIF hit from yesteryear, just filed for legal separation from her third husband Morty Coyle.

The two were married in Beverly Hills in March 2012, and they have a 2-year-old daughter named Beatrix together. Sweetin also has a 5-year-old daughter, Zoie, with her second husband Cody Herpin.

THE VOICE

This Is Cher’s World, We Only Gawk In It

By Miz J

CHER’S BACK, YA’LL! WELL, SORT OF.

The sidekick-turned-singer-turned-actress-turned-gay-icon sang on live TV for the first time in 10 on The Voice. Looking like a loopy Lady Gaga inspiration, Cher rocked two weird wigs while she belted out her new single, A Woman’s World. And the lyrics would be so much more empowering if it weren’t for her usually goofy getup.

UNCIVIL LIBERTIES

New Report Says Rock Hudson’s Wife Secretly Taped Gay Confession

By Elizabeth C.

SECRETS JUST KEEP SPILLING OUT OF CLOSETS THIS WEEK, but this latest violation is all titillation, no trauma.

Talk about uncivil liberties: In a shocking scoop, The Hollywood Reporter reveals Rock Hudson’s wife secretly recorded his “gay confession” with the help of Hollywood private eye Fred Otash.

A transcript of the confession was uncovered among boxes of records belonging to the West Coast detective kept stashed for years in a San Fernando Valley storage unit. In it, Hudson’s wife Phyllis Gates accuses the heartthrob of cruising for boys.

“Everyone knows that you were picking up boys off the street shortly after we were married and have continued to do so, thinking that being married would cover up for you,” she tells him.

ASUNDER

Love Celebrity Style: RPatz Moves Out, January Stays Mum & Kanye Keeps Kim At Bay?

By Elizabeth C.

OLD VAMPIRE STORIES NEVER DIE, THEY’RE JUST REVIVED TO HAUNT OUR DREAMS ANOTHER DAY. And so we report that the on-again-off-again love between Twilight bloodsuckers Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart has grown moribund once more.

The comely duo reportedly got into a huge row on Pattinson’s 27th birthday on May 13. A source told Hollywood Life that “Rob is not treating Kristen like a princess and she’s getting fed up with it. He’s not as into it as he was before the cheating — not giving her special treatment like he used to. She feels unloved and that’s why they fought. They’re not split, but they’re holding on by a string.”

But then on Sunday photos emerged of Pattinson driving a pickup truck filled with belongings he allegedly fetched from Stewart’s house. “Suitcases, a bike, trash bags full of his things,” a source tells Life & Style.

OFF HIS BACK

Credit: Instagram

Justin Bieber Sends Signal He’s Surrendering Mally The Monkey

By Kyra Senese

POP STAR JUSTIN BIEBER seems to be leaving his pet monkey Mally behind. The capuchin monkey was only 14 weeks old when it was seized in March by German customs at Munich airport during a concert tour, according to the shelter caring for Mally.

Unless Bieber completes the necessary paperwork and submits it to authorities by Friday, the 19-year-old will lose permanent custody of the monkey.

HAPPY ACCIDENT

Credit: Instagram

Creator of ‘The Rachel’ Admits He Was Trashed When He Styled Jennifer Aniston’s Iconic Cut

By Kyra Senese

MEARLY 20 YEARS AFTER JENNIFER ANISTON DEBUTED WHAT HAS BECOME AN ICONIC HAIR STYLE, the stylist admits he was trashed when he framed Jennifer Aniston’s face.

Chris McMillan, Jennifer’s long time stylist, confessed to Women’s Wear Daily that he was stoned when he styled the layered bob in 1994 which has since come to be known as “The Rachel.”

Whether it’s due to time’s passage or his own refound sobriety, McMillan seems content with sharing this news. “I’m 14 years sober, so I feel safe enough to say that,” McMillan told the magazine.

NAKED AMBITIONS

What Would Ryan Lochte Do?: The Skinny On Love & Shaving

By Karen Malmquist

WE ALL KNOW RYAN LOCHTE’S MIND IS A SPECIAL PLACE. On Sunday’s What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, we learn why: it exists in a different century.

Ryan’s girlfriend Jaimee is coming to visit, and he’s excited to prove to everyone that she exists. He has a girlfriend — and has been going on dates when she’s not around? Hmmm… When she arrives at his front door, our first glimpse of her is complete with slow motion and wind in her hair, so she must be pretty special. Jaimee, who is British, by the way, notes that Ryan and Devon’s place is quite the bachelor pad

ROAR

In The Raw: Miley Cyrus In V Magazine

LIAM WHO?

There is nothing demure or coquettish about V cover girl Miley Cyrus who flaunts her fierceness in revealing poses and black leather.

But the leather looks as natural as her own skin, suggesting we are seeing the real Miley for the first time, an idea she that she also promotes.

“I chopped my hair and bought a pair of Docs and never looked back,” the former Disney star says. “In my mind I’m Gucci Mane, but on paper I’m a pop artist,” Cyrus tells V in the May issue. “…It’s not about the girly-girl sh*t anymore, the pop sh*t.” No kidding.

RELIVING THE FAIRY TALE

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon Renew Vows At Storybook Affair

By Kyra Senese

MARIAH CAREY AND NICK CANNON renewed their wedding vows at Disneyland in an extravagant fairy tale display of their love. The lovebirds have reupped on their commitment to each other every year since they married in 2008.

Lovestruck Carey tweeted the news of her 5th vow renewal: “On our way to renew our vows. I love you @NickCannon shut down Disneyland KKLB. “Happy 5th (!!!!!!) Anniversary to the Best Husband in All The Land & 2 years ago pon de delivery… (sic)”

The bride and 2 year-old daughter Monroe wore princess-style dresses while Nick and 2 year-old son Moroccan wore matching Prince Charming suits.

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Dave Spade Deadpans ‘Reese Is ‘Falling To Pieces’

By Elizabeth C.

TMZ’S SCORED SOME GRAINY VIDEO SHOWING REESE WITHERSPOON IN HANDCUFFS THAT you can check out here, but we think far more worthy of your time (okay, not really) is
David Spade’s off-the-cuff guideline on when it’s okay to pull the ol’
‘Don’t you know who I am’ excuse.

“Reese is falling to pieces, is that what I’m hearing?,” Spade cracks to TMZ’s reporter on scene.

“I think the general rule is when you say, ‘Do you know who I am?,’ the answer is most likely no,’ ‘ the gum-chewing comedian opines. “If you have to explain to someone you’re famous then you’re technically not that famous.”