PROVING NICE GUYS FINISH LAST

Lightning Strikes Twice For Psy As ‘Gentleman’ Racks Up YouTube Hits

By Jacob Wittich

PSY’S NEWEST SINGLE GENTLEMAN, the evil twin to Gangnam Style released just a week ago, is proving that lightning sometimes does strike twice.

Already boasting 145 million views as of post time, Gentleman hit the 100-million mark on YouTube faster than any other video since Susan Boyle’s I Dreamed A Dream.

The video features the South Korean rapper wreaking havoc and pulling cheesy pranks on young women, including undoing bra straps and pulling chairs away moments before they sit down.

THAT’S WHACK

Ozzy’s Off The Wagon, Coolio’s Whack Crack & Pamela’s New ‘Hoary’ Style

By Miz J

HAS THE PRINCE OF Darkness lost his Princess for good? Ozzy Osbourne assured us via Facebook that he and wife of 31 years, Sharon, are not divorcing. But the truth is that the couple is estranged due to Ozzy’s drug and drink relapse.

“For the last year and a half I have been drinking and taking drugs. I was in a very dark place and was an a-hole to the people I love most, my family. However, I am happy to say that I am now 44 days sober,” he revealed.

STRANGELY SELF-OBSESSED

Credit: RadarOnline

Justin Bieber Outrages Some For Hoping Anne Frank “Belieber”

By Jacob Wittich

Justin Bieber’s European leg of the Believe tour hit it’s latest bump in the road.

The star’s latest publicity snag occurred when The Anne Frank House posted on its official Facebook page that Bieber paid the historic site a visit.

It wasn’t his visit — which was hailed — but Bieber’s strangely self-obsessed focus that he wrote in the museum’s guestbook:

“Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber,” he wrote.

GOSSIP ERUPTIS

No, Kate Upton & Sean Combs Are Not Diddylin’, Crushing Dreams Of Gossip Peddlers Worldwide

By Elizabeth C.

THE RUMOR WAS A GOSSIP COLUMNIST’S FICTION DREAM COME-TRUE: Kate Upton was diddylin’ Sean Puffy Combs.

At least that’s what the “source” said after eye spying the Sports Illustrated model allegedly sharing spit with the rap entrepreneur at the club LIV in Miami Beach. “They were kissing, they weren’t hiding it,” the “source” blabbed to the New York Daily News.

SCHOOLED

Credit: AFP

Madonna’s VIP Status Revoked In Malawi, Must Now Think Twice About Dancing Willy Nilly With The Poors

By Elizabeth C.

THE SELF-APPOINTED PATRON SAINT OF MALAWI HAS just been served some humble pie.

Madonna had her VIP status revoked last week by Malawi government officials and was forced to wait in lines with the hoi polloi while departing the African country Saturday, according to published sources.

“Each and every person on her entourage went through the normal security checkpoints, their passports were stamped as a normal passenger,” a Department of Aviation source told the Telegraph. “We conducted physical body checks and that all their luggage went through security screening which never happened before.”

HOW TO MURDER A SENTIMENT

Brad Paisley’s Not A Racist — Just Bad At History

By Jacob Wittich

BRAD PAISLEY’S NEW SONG Accidental Racist featuring LL Cool J is getting a lot of backlash from critics, who say its lyrics inadvertently portray Paisley as a racist. A closer look at the song’s message, however, show that Paisley isn’t racist, but simply ignorant of the role the South played in the Civil War.

The song opens with a pseudo-apology from Paisley to a Starbucks employee who was offended by Paisley’s Confederate flag t-shirt.

“I hope you understand when I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I’m a Skynyrd fan … I’m proud of where I’m from but not everything we’ve done,” Paisley sings.

TIME’S UP?

Barbara Walters Returns ABC’s Secret Salvo: ‘Here I Am’

By Elizabeth C.

BARBARA WALTERS DELIVERED A MESSAGE TO ANONYMOUS ABC EXECUTIVES who leaked rumors last week that the television icon would retire next year: You’re going to have drag her cold hard body away from her desk.

Walters opened The View this morning with this announcement: “There were many reports last week saying that I was retiring from ABC and there was an assumption that I would be making an an announcement today,” Walters said. “The paparazzi were outside my home today… However, here I am, and I have no announcement to make.”

LOADED

By Elizabeth C.

WHAT’S SEAN PENN’S HAITI FRIENDS GOING TO THINK ABOUT THIS?

The son of the notoriously hotheaded actor is apologizing after unleashing a litany of hateful slurs — including fa**ot and the awful ‘N’ word — on a paparazzo who was snapping photos of the actor while entering a Beverly Hills building.

The 19-year-old seems to push the shooter after he had the audacity to shoot Penn Sr. Penn ignored the pap but then Hopper rushed over from across the street, appeared to push the cameraman and began spewing vulgarities!! And it was all caught on tape.

LETTING HIS FREAK FLY

Credit: CBS Philadelphia

Not The ‘Dour’ Buzz Bissinger I Used To Know

By Trisha B.

CLOTHES MAKE OR BREAK THE MAN. And by that criterion, writer Buzz Bissinger is a real man.

Now, instead of saying it takes a real man to wear a pink shirt, I’ll say it takes a real man to rock 5-inch Jimmy Choo boots, a $13,900 Gucci ostrich skin jacket and $5,600 leather pants.

Buzz, a highly acclaimed author (his website says so!), is all the buzz today due to a GQ article revealing his luxury clothing addiction. And when I say addiction, I mean ADDICTION. Dude spent over $600,000 on clothes in two years!

PRISONER OF DOUBT

‘Accidental Ingénue’ Amanda Knox Faces Retrial For Sensational Murder

By Elizabeth C.

ITALY’S COURTS AREN’T THREW WITH AMANDA “FOXY” KNOX: the country’s high court has overturned her acquittal and ordered a new trial for her alleged murder of her 21-year-old British roommate.

Knox was one of three suspects charged with the death of her Meredith Kercher, found stabbed to death underneath a duvet in 2007 in Perugia, Italy. Prosecutors claimed that she was killed during deviant sexual play between Knox, her boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito and a third name named Rudy Guede.

The perverse allegations, combined with Knox’s beauty, turned the murder trial into a sensation in Italy, and Knox, then 20, was convicted with Sollecito in December 2009. (Guede was tried separately and found guilty and was sentenced to 16 years in prison.) But an Italian court threw out convictions against both Knox and Sollecito 18 month ago, and Knox returned to her home in Seattle after spending four years in prison.