POT, WHO YOU CALLING KETTLE?

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Frances Bean Cobain Attacks Kendall Jenner On Twitter As ‘Self-Absorbed Idiot’

By Elizabeth C.

FRANCES BEAN MAY BE THE SPITTIN’ IMAGE OF HER FATHER, but she’s inherited her mother’s potty mouth.

The 20-year-old daughter of rockers Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love threw a hissy fit on Twitter Tuesday directed at Kim Kardashian’s little sister Kendall Jenner. Seems the aspiring Victoria’s Secret angel had the audacity to to tweet “just wish things could be easier sometimes mann.”

That’s all she said, with no context, just an exhale. But it was enough to stir the trolls, among whom Frances apparently mingles. Because she tweeted an angry response to Kendall’s perceived effrontery, calling her a “f-king idiot” and “self-absorbed.”

MEME-ORIFIC

Credit: Ryan McHenry

Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal

RYAN GOSLING WON’T EAT HIS CEREAL, BUT that’s okay because he respects his momma and breaks up street fights in New York City.

But Ryan really doesn’t like his cereal, as evinced by the latest Gosling meme to win the web. He bats spoons away, cocks his head, shut his eyes, even covers his mouth with his scarf — anything to get out of eating the grainy gruel with which 31 percent of Americans start their day.

DEBUTANTE

Did Blue Ivy Join Beyonce On Stage In London?

SOMEBODY WAS UP WAAAY PAST HER BEDTIME, BUT THE QUESTION ON THE INTERNET’S MIND IS: WAS THAT BLUE IVY?

The diabolical divalicious Beyonce brought a wee one on stage during her Saturday concert stop in London on the Mrs. Carter tour. A video of the scene was posted to TheCazza1970 account on YouTube, and Vibe reports that it was Beyonce’s one-year-old daughter Blue Ivy, a claim that YouTube commentators weren’t completely sold on.

I wasn’t there so I can’t confirm the truth. But who other than a deluded diva would think that a one-year-old girl would be perfect prop at a concert?

SAD CYCLE

Charlie Sheen’s Twin Boys Removed From Brooke Mueller’s Custody

US WEEKLY SAYS IT’S DENISE RICHARDS TO THE RESCUE — AGAIN — AFTER the mother of Charlie Sheen’s twin boys let her drug-addled life spin out of control once more.

Four-year-olds Bob And Max were removed from Brooke Mueller’s Los Angeles home Thursday because of the “unsafe environment” caused by her ongoing alleged drug use.

ROAR

In The Raw: Miley Cyrus In V Magazine

LIAM WHO?

There is nothing demure or coquettish about V cover girl Miley Cyrus who flaunts her fierceness in revealing poses and black leather.

But the leather looks as natural as her own skin, suggesting we are seeing the real Miley for the first time, an idea she that she also promotes.

“I chopped my hair and bought a pair of Docs and never looked back,” the former Disney star says. “In my mind I’m Gucci Mane, but on paper I’m a pop artist,” Cyrus tells V in the May issue. “…It’s not about the girly-girl sh*t anymore, the pop sh*t.” No kidding.

RELIVING THE FAIRY TALE

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon Renew Vows At Storybook Affair

By Kyra Senese

MARIAH CAREY AND NICK CANNON renewed their wedding vows at Disneyland in an extravagant fairy tale display of their love. The lovebirds have reupped on their commitment to each other every year since they married in 2008.

Lovestruck Carey tweeted the news of her 5th vow renewal: “On our way to renew our vows. I love you @NickCannon shut down Disneyland KKLB. “Happy 5th (!!!!!!) Anniversary to the Best Husband in All The Land & 2 years ago pon de delivery… (sic)”

The bride and 2 year-old daughter Monroe wore princess-style dresses while Nick and 2 year-old son Moroccan wore matching Prince Charming suits.

BRACE FOR THE ‘GLASSHOLES’

Banksy composite

The Stark View Vs. ‘Magical’ Thinking About Google Glass

By Elizabeth C.

THE EARLIEST REVIEWS OF GOOGLE GLASS ARE DRIBBLING OUT AND SO FAR HERE’S WHAT EARLY ADOPTERS TELL US WHAT WE CAN EXPECT:

• More ‘selfies’ like the photo posted by “tech evangelist” Robert Scoble in the shower;
• The goofy Star Trek-looking goggles becoming white men’s fashion de rigueur by 2014;
• The evolution of a “new norm” for turning our computer glasses off while taking a dump;
• Lots and lots and lots of histrionic praise and “magical” thinking from Google sycophantic fanboys. Gushes Scoble on Google+: “I will never live a day of my life from now on without it (or a competitor). It’s that significant.”
• The most pervasive invasion of privacy yet, with the potential to “unleash” the “Swiss Army surveillance kit for sociopaths”.

RUNNING LIKE SHE’S OUTTA TIME

Ke$sha On MTV: Crazy Mixed Up Beautiful Girl

By Jacob Wittich

“LET’S GET DRUUUUUNK!”

The premier episode of Ke$ha’s My Crazy Beautiful Life aired last night, offering an intimate look at two years of the party princess’s first headlining tour.

As expected, the first episode of the six-part series is full of wild adventures involving glitter, alcohol, kart wheels and “lady boners,” but the show also reveals a surprisingly vulnerable side of the star.

THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Dave Spade Deadpans ‘Reese Is ‘Falling To Pieces’

By Elizabeth C.

TMZ’S SCORED SOME GRAINY VIDEO SHOWING REESE WITHERSPOON IN HANDCUFFS THAT you can check out here, but we think far more worthy of your time (okay, not really) is
David Spade’s off-the-cuff guideline on when it’s okay to pull the ol’
‘Don’t you know who I am’ excuse.

“Reese is falling to pieces, is that what I’m hearing?,” Spade cracks to TMZ’s reporter on scene.

“I think the general rule is when you say, ‘Do you know who I am?,’ the answer is most likely no,’ ‘ the gum-chewing comedian opines. “If you have to explain to someone you’re famous then you’re technically not that famous.”

CROSSING THE LINE

Legally Bombed: Reese Witherspoon Apologizes For Crass Talk During Atlanta Arrest

By Elizabeth C.

OOOPS. REESE WITHERSPOON LET HER ENTITLEMENT SLIP WHEN SHE WAS PULLED OVER WITH HER HUSBAND April 19 in Atlanta after he was spotted weaving on the road.

“Do you know my name?,” the actress challenged Georgia State Trooper First Class J. Pylanda, who was arresting her husband after he failed to ‘walk the line’ properly in a field sobriety test. “You’re about to find out who I am.”