By Karen Malmquist
MR. LOCHTE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD and worries hopelessly over a hot dog on Sunday’s new episode of What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” Not to be outdone, his BFF/ assistant Gene throws up on himself. Someone give this show an Emmy!
The Lochterage plays volleyball together. Afterwards they sit down for some sandwiches and discuss Ryan’s upcoming trip to LA, where he’ll be receiving a Hall of Game award. Okay, let’s note that he’s only nominated for the award. However, he’s convinced that he’s going to win. Maybe we’ll get lucky and it’ll turn into a Zoolander moment where a different guy wins the award, but Ryan goes up to accept in anyway. One could only be so lucky. He’s hoping to run into his celebrity crush, Carmen Elektra, while he’s there. Well, it’s not like she has much going on, so yeah, he’ll probably get to meet her.
Gene tells Ryan that the world-famous Pink’s Hot Dogs is naming a hot dog after him. He has a hard time figuring out if this is more exciting than getting gold medals in the Olympics.
Gene is really excited because he’s never been to LA, and Ryan tells them that they’ll need to pick up their fashion game when they’re there. It’s like LA is Oz and Gainesville is Kansas, the way Ryan describes it.
When they land in this new magical kingdom, Ryan goes to a meeting with Speedo, and has the cameras leave the room when he pitches his ideas for them. He explains that it was a “confident” meeting. I’m guessing he means confidential?
Now we get to see Ryan go to multiple photo shoots. He pours water all over himself, gets covered in women… It must be so hard being him. At one shoot he’s given a bathing suit that is way too small, and so much so that cameras aren’t allowed to show it.
After his long, hard day of getting his picture taken, Ryan goes to Pink’s to see his new hot dog. He was worried that the hot dog would be small, so he’s excited to see that it’s actually two stretched hot dogs squeezed into one bun. And there are fries on it? Why?
Now Ryan’s getting styled for the award show, and he ends up looking exactly like Gene. Ryan is too sad that he can’t wear his lime green “Lochte” shoes to notice that his jacket is about four sizes too small. On their way to the event, Ryan looks at a picture on his phone of Gene from the night before, when he threw up on himself.
On the red carpet, Ryan greets fans, and then gets interviewed about his ideal superpower. He says he’d like to fly, because he loves to travel and if he “could flew anywhere” that’d be great. Ryan wins the Way to Roll award, and it’s presented to him by The Wanted (coming soon to E!), who clearly had nowhere else to be that night.
Afterwards, Ryan and Gene talk about moving to LA, and then Gene surprises Ryan with Carmen Elektra. Ryan has no idea what to say, and just kind of utters different variations of “umm.” Carmen invites him and Gene out for drinks with her and her friend. Ryan looks too overwhelmed to move, but eventually accepts her offer.
The episode ends with Ryan heading home and telling Devon about meeting Carmen Elektra. As we fade to black, we hear the brother shout “Woah!” over and over about the former “Baywatch”/ currently unemployed star.