WITH COPS OUTNUMBERED BY GANG MEMBERS, 7-year-old kids getting gunned down in front of lemonade stands and hopeful college ballers getting killed while trying to keep some peace, Chicago’s become a literal warzone. As if the violence in Chicago this summer weren’t already bad enough, now cops have caught up with an 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL. Welcome to Chi-raq, folks.
BRET MICHAELS IS NO LONGER engaged to the mother of his children, Kristi Gibson. While you cue up “Every Rose Has Its, yada, yada, yada,” it should be noted that Gibson’s endured 16 years of baby mama-dom with the rocker — including all three seasons of Rock of Love. Yes, even that nasty, grimy one on the buses. Which is why I feel like she deserves a 21-gun salute, where all the guns are loaded with Purell and Valtrex.
YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD RUMBLINGS ON Facebook about something going down at Chick-fil-A today. Some people are rallying around the restaurant today to show their appreciation for the food and the owner’s “Christian” values against same-sex marriage. Others are planning to show up and hang out in front, sucking face with their same-sex partners to protest the company CEO’s conservative stance. I know what you’re thinking. What about the Muppets? I know! Everyone forgets about the Muppets. Sad.
Miz J has an attitude. Deal with it. Check out her NSFW comedy podcast, I SAID IT, on iTunes or follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @askmizj