SIDESHOWS

Whack Wednesday! MTV VMA Awards Edition

Staff

GASP! LADY GAGA strapped a prosthetic penis on while channeling her Sicilian brethen Jo Calderone. All the better to completely transform into the dick that gushed onstage about Britney Spears: “She is f***ing hot. Didn’t you j*** off to Britney when you were a kid?”

Beyoncé and Jay-Z used MTV’s award ceremony to debut her baby bump to the world. Let’s start praying for that heir to The Throne now cause he or she is guaranteed to have a raging case of entitlement. Even before being born, the “bump” generated 8,868 tweets per second on Twitter — a record for my favorite social media service.

The glistening guidettes from the Joisey Shore didn’t waste the chance to spread their brand like a social disease at the VMAs: the ladies posed for pictures with Gaga in character. And Jenni “JWOWW” Farley even “back[ed her] ass up…right into the arms of her best friend Snooki.”

The antics paid off for MTV, which reported the show was the “most-watched telecast of all time in the 12-34 demo,” drawing 12.4 million total viewers. Now that’s whack!