JUNK FOOD NEWS

Whack Wednesday: Lilo Gets Banished, Tyra Buys Bragging Rights & Holly Madison Is Preggers

By Miz J

LET’S CHECK IN ON HOLLYWOOD SAD SACK, Lindsay Lohan. This week alone, she’s suspect in the “Great Hollywood Hills Jewel Caper AND she’s been banned from her hidey-hole at the Chateau Marmont for skipping out on a $50,000 bill. Oh yes. She’s spent in a MONTH what most people make in a YEAR — mainly on overpriced cigarettes and mini-bar booze.

Here’s the breakdown of that bill, courtesy of TMZ:

• Minibar charges for the 47 days: $3,145.07. The highest daily tab … July 1st — $502.43!!!


• Cigarettes: $686. She blew through 49 packs in 47 days at $14 a pop


• Chateau Candle: $100




• Chateau restaurant: On July 4 Lindsay racked up a $1,992.07 bill. On top of that, she spent $685.96 that day on room service

Just what, exactly, is a Chateau Candle? We have no idea. But man, if only we could get our hands on $500 worth of booze.

GUYS, HERE’S THE THING ABOUT TYRA BANKS GOING TO HARVARD. She didn’t actually, like, GRADUATE from Harvard. She paid about $100K to attend the Owner/President Management program, during which Harvard refers to enrollees as “clients” and not “students.” Also, it’s not degreed. When you really think about it, Harvard is THE place to be if you’re in business — because only Harvard is smart enough to realize the monetary value of its name and then get celebs to pony up six figures for a quickie program that allows them to brag about their hard work, while actually putting in very little of it. That, friends, is American ingenuity at its finest.

FORMER PLAYBOY CENTERFOLD, Girl Next Door (and one-third of one of Hef’s many ex-girlfriends), Holly Madison, is pregnant. Don’t worry, it’s obviously not Hef’s — the father is Madison’s on-again/off-again beau (and party promoter) Pasquale Rotella. What IS it about Playboy girls and party promoters that makes the world go round?

Miz J has an attitude. Deal with it. Check out her NSFW comedy podcast, I SAID IT, on iTunes or follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @askmizj