By Miz J
ANOTHER SECOND, ANOTHER KIM KARDASHIAN UPDATE. That gal is really milking every single one of those 15 minutes, taking some glossy shots of her barely-there bump for DuJour Magazine. We know, we’ve never heard of that magazine, either, and yes, we’re looking into whether it’s a Kris Jenner-owned-and-operated-enterprise. Because at this point, what DON’T you know about that krazy family? And do you know what’s even krazier? When answering a Cosompolitan sex survey about what she’d do if she were a man for a day, Kim declared: “I would want to know what it’s like to have sex with myself. I would just want to know what it would feel like.” Never change, kray kray, never change.
IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE’VE HEARD FROM Lisa Lampanelli, queen of the racial slur. But it sounds like
she’s up to her old tricks again. On Sunday night, the self-professed Queen of Mean tweeted a picture of herself with Girls creator Lena Dunham, calling Dunham “my n*gga.” Listen, Lis, we understand your schtick. You say as many racist things as you can in the name of jokes, and taking the hate out of the words. You then go on to explain the difference between using the n-word ending in –er, as opposed to in –a, which makes us wonder: If using the word the way you did was not out of hate to begin with, then where is this hate you’re looking to eradicate?
You’d like to think that after Gwyneth Paltrow’s epic Twitter flub at Jay-Z’s concert, folks would see where the line was drawn and stop trying to step over it. But since they don’t, we’re gonna just reiterate this one more time: white people, do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, use the n-word. It’s right up there with trying to put your hair in cornrows or talk with a “blackcent” –- simply not done. Move on.
TURNS OUT THE TASTE ISN’T SO TASTY AFTER ALL. Chicago’s most famous summer festival is still a money-loser– even after adding in pop-up restaurants and charging insane fees for concerts at the Petrillo band shell. How did this happen? Sheer greed, from this Chicagoan’s perspective. The Petrillo band shell used to host the same concerts for FREE — and then admission spiked to $20, leaving most festgoers sitting nearby in the grass for FREE, like every other year. The fact is, the fest is something for the locals – those of us from nearby suburbs or young’uns looking for a change of scene in the dead of summer. Admission was free, the concerts were free, all you had to do was be ready to pay $5 for a bottle of water and $10 for a half a Billy Goat burger. No big deal. Until last year, anyway. Not only did the city lose money, but so did the restaurants that participated. And this year, the Mayor is talking about charging just to get into the fest. Everybody loses.
Miz J has an attitude. Deal with it. Check out her NSFW comedy podcast, I SAID IT, on iTunes or follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @askmizj