BITE-SIZED TIPS

Whack Wednesday: Kim’s Reality Backtrack, Rihanna’s Self-Deception & Erasing Facebook Regret

By Miz J

SO KIM KARDASHIAN GOES ON JIMMY KIMMEL to talk about how the Kimye spawn will not be pimped out across various media: “It’s a tough decision …From the start, as of now, that’s just a personal choice that Kanye and I have made…we’re going to try to keep it as private as possible.”

“Private as possible.” Right, so only ONE fragrance, SIX magazine covers, a two-part reality show special and a cameo on Kris’s new talk show, where they’ll talk about important, relevant topics like Kim’s pregnancy cravings for Chinese chicken salad and non-stop famewhoring.

BECAUSE WE ALL REALLY WANT TO KNOW how Rihanna really feels about Chris Brown (*cough* dickmatized *cough cough*), the singer gave an interview to Rolling Stone that clearS the air.

On not being able to talk to anyone about Chris, not even her best friend: “I just felt like, why bother? Nobody else is going through it. Nobody would understand.”

Oh, this is our FAVORITE, when someone we know dates an asshole, and then gets all wrapped up in that pretentious emo gauze of “only I understand him.”

On if he’s changed: “Of course everybody has their opinion about him, because of what he’s done. That will always be there. But he made a mistake, and he’s paid his dues. He’s paid so much. And I know that’s not a place he would ever want to go back to. And sometimes people need support and encouragement, instead of ridicule and criticism and bashing.”

Right. So maybe Brown should take that advice to heart, instead of scuffling with Frank Ocean over a parking spot or verbally assaulting (in the sense that he can’t spell or even write particularly well) Jenny Johnston on Twitter.

On if he messes up again: “Listen, I’ll tell you right now: I don’t have to take it. If he gives me that again, here’s what I give him: nothing. I just walk away. He doesn’t have that luxury of (expletive) up again. That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”

You know what, RiRi? We’re disgusted by Chris Brown.

REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE liked the Middle-Aged Male Britney Spears Fans Unite page on Facebook? Well, now you can pretend you don’t, and look like you never did, by following these five simple steps, courtesy of Lifehacker.

• Go to the Likes page of your profile and click Edit.
• Remove your embarrassing like from its category by hovering over it and clicking the “X” that shows up
• Scroll down to one of the other categories that you don’t use — like “Sports Teams,” “Video Games,” or “Inspirational People”—and change its privacy setting to “Only Me.”
• Next, add your embarrassing likes to that category. Even if they don’t fit — say, adding Taylor Swift to Sports Teams — Facebook will still let you add them there.
• Click the “Done Editing” button at the top of your page and continue using Facebook as normal.

You’re welcome, Middle-Aged Male Britney Spears Fan.

Miz J has an attitude. Deal with it. Check out her NSFW comedy podcast, I SAID IT, on iTunes or follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @askmizj