By Miz J
SO WE’RE KICKING OFF THE NEW YEAR WITH A KIMYE DEVIL SPAWN that will suck up all available limelight. And, as hilarious as it is knowing that Kardashian will probably give birth LONG before Kris grants her that D-I-V-O-R-C-E, here’s something even funnier:
Kim’s shitty little brother Rob, best known for his recent trashing of ex-girlfriend Rita Ora, and calling Kim a “whore,” is of the mindset that he will wait until marriage to have a child of his own. “I’m so proud of my sisters, but I’ll be married before I have a baby,” Rob said while hosting the CIROC Vodka New Year’s Eve countdown at STK Miami. Unless, of course, someone offers this boy a reality show. He is a Kardashian, after all.
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF SUPER SAD: A paparazzo was chasing The Biebs’s Ferrari yesterday, and despite being pulled over twice by police, the third time shutterbug Chris Guerra resumed his chase became his last. He was hit by an oncoming car while trying to get a shot of what he thought was the pop singer behind the wheel. Even sadder? Biebs wasn’t in the car. At all. That is some next-level Twilight Zone shit right there. “My thoughts and prayers are with the family of the victim,” Bieber said in a statement, CNN reported.
FINALLY, SOME PROGRESS IN CONGRESS that we can all get behind: the do-nothing politicians voted down a cost of living increase in their salaries. Because it was all just getting to be too much, what with the bailing out of criminally negligent banks, denying women access to birth control, denying gays the right to marry, waiting ALL YEAR to address the fiscal cliff…the list goes on. We’re just glad the pay raises will not.
Happy New Year, folks. Glad to be back.
After family matters necessitated a break, Miz J is back! Let’s remind you: she has an attitude. Deal with it. Check out her NSFW comedy podcast, I SAID IT, on iTunes or follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @askmizj