PROVING NICE GUYS FINISH LAST

Lightning Strikes Twice For Psy As ‘Gentleman’ Racks Up YouTube Hits

By Jacob Wittich

PSY’S NEWEST SINGLE GENTLEMAN, the evil twin to Gangnam Style released just a week ago, is proving that lightning sometimes does strike twice.

Already boasting 145 million views as of post time, Gentleman hit the 100-million mark on YouTube faster than any other video since Susan Boyle’s I Dreamed A Dream.

The video features the South Korean rapper wreaking havoc and pulling cheesy pranks on young women, including undoing bra straps and pulling chairs away moments before they sit down.

WALKING THROUGH THE WOODS ONE DAY

Russian Beaver To Hiker: Come At Me, Bro!

By Elizabeth C.

HERE’S OUR IMAGINARY THOUGHT PROCESS OF A BEAVER WHO WOULD BE KING.

He’s taking the long way back to the lake when he sees a taller, but obviously less savvy creature, shadowing him.

He stops and stares, sending a clear message with his eyes: ‘WTF?!’

The creature-cum-camper chills for a second, and Mr. Beaver ambles on his way.

But wait! “ What. In. The. Hell? This fool is still following me!“

AFTERNOON SNACK

Drink Up This Kitten Cup Of Cheer

HERE’S A KITTEN IN A GLASS to quench your thirst for meme.

HILARIOUS HOKUM

Pyongyang Propaganda Video Reveals Diabolical Dreams Of Bombing The U.S.

CAN SOPHIE SCHMIDT SHARE HER INSIGHTS ON THIS KNEE SLAPPER?

The delusional despots of Pyongyang have uploaded a bizarre video to YouTube depicting a North Korean man dreaming of bombs setting New York City ablaze as strains of Michael Jackson’s We Are The World play in the background. Background footage comes from the video game Call of Duty.

The propaganda video was uploaded to North Korea’s official channel over the weekend as the country taunts the world with threats of imminent nuclear tests. The production values are so corny that the video is mostly laughable even as it reveals the dark fantasies of the world’s most isolated nation.

WHAT’S MINE IS YOURS

Aristocats Or Bolsheviks? You Decide

THE LAUGH’S ON THE videographers who obviously expected high-pitched hissing and sharp claws to come out when they presented two cats with one bowl.

COMPELLING COMEDY?

Jelly, James? Franco Mystifies In Bieber Boyfriend Spoof

By Elizabeth C.

WHO’S PUNKING WHO? HERE’S JAMES FRANCO MOCK MORPHING into hot boy toy Justin Bieber while lipsyncing the star’s racy Boyfriend?

The parody popped up on YouTube Tuesday but was just as quickly taken down by the Renaissance man Franco. (Not to worry, it was scarfed up for later consumption by other netizens; you can watch it below.)

TUMMY BUG?

Aussie DJs Get Princess Catherine Update During Dumbfounding Prank Call

By Elizabeth C.

WELL, THIS IS ROYALLY EMBARRASSING. A pair of cheeky Australian DJs prank-called the hospital at which Princess Kate is recuperating from a bad bout of morning sickness and got an update on her condition.

Mel Greig and Michael Christian, hosts of The Summer 30 program on Sydney’s 2Day FM radio station, dialed up King Edward VII Hospital pretending to be Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Charles seeking information on Kate’s status. With shocking ease, the hospital operator put through the call to the Duchess’ nurse.

“Hello there, may I please speak to Kate please, my granddaughter,” the female host sniffs to the operator. “Oh yes, hold on madam,” comes the response followed by momentary silence.

“Are they putting us through? If this has worked, it’s the easiest prank call we’ve ever made,” guffawed Christian. “Your accent sucked by the way.”

CAPTIVATING THE WORLD

Gangbusters Gangnam Style Bests Bieber’s Baby On YouTube

By Elizabeth C.

THE NEWS IS REVENGE FOR THIRTYSOMETHINGS EVERYWHERE WITH A PAUNCH: Psy’s Gangnam Style has bested pop prince Justin Bieber by having the most-watched video ever on YouTube. Since being released July 15, the fantastical phantasmagoria has netted 816,175,123 million views as of 10:40 am Central time on Nov. 25.

Biebs’ Baby now officially sits in the number two spot, with 804,669,690 hits. That video was first posted back in February 2010.

But Bieber shouldn’t cry in his milk: both numbers are stratospheric and illustrate how the Internet is transforming and shrinking our world. Can you remember the last time that an 18-year-old Canadian boy and a 34-year-old South Korean starred at the same party?

‘ASK A NETWORK HEAD’

Fake MTV Executive Tells Real Story Behind Demise Of Music Videos On Network

By Elizabeth C.

ARE YOU STILL COMPLAINING MTV DOESN’T PLAY MUSIC VIDEOS ANY MORE? That cliched chestnut is nothing more than a “hip form of rebellion against the man,” accuses this faux MTV executive, aka sketch comedian Brian Firenzi. It also reveals you’re old.

AS AMY WEEPS, SO WEEPS A NATION

Politically Weary 4-Year-Old Emotes Tears Of A Nation

By Elizabeth C.

EXACTLY 1,596,825 SNICKERS HAVE BEEN UNLEASHED by the crying 4-year-old shown above.

“I’m tired of Bronco Bamma and Mitt Romney,” wails Abigael Evans of Colorado while emoting the tears of a collective nation.