THEIR PRIVATE LOVE CANAL

Chris Brown & Rihanna Are Throwing Oblique Shade At Each Other

TOXIC LOVERS RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN are having trouble containing their poisonous feelings for each other. The two pop stars, who renewed their controversial love four years after he assaulted her have been throwing opague vective over what the Daily Mail speculates is contempt over cheating.

Riri got the ball rolling when she posted an oblique message on Instagram Friday saying, “If I drop all my hoes for you and we still don’t work out you owe me some hoes.”

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PARKING VALET?

Chris Brown’s Mea Culpa Tour: April’s Fool Joke Or The Real Deal?

By Jacob Wittich

WE’LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE IF CHRIS BROWN’S MEA CULPA TOUR IS JUST AN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE. The singer’s kicked off his promotions-cum-apology tour on TODAY where he debuted his ‘honesty policy’ while discussing hot Rihanna, Drake and his pop career.

Breezy dropped by NBC’s struggling morning show for an interview with Matt Lauer in search of some positive PR to reverse his ‘public enemy number one’ reputation that followed his 2009 assault on then-and-now girlfriend Rihanna.

Lauer cut right to the chase, jumping immediately to questions about Brown’s assault on Rihanna, and asking how he has changed since the incident.

BULLY

Chris Brown Caught On Tape Turning Ugly, Threatening Valet, Acting Like Spoiled Ass

By Elizabeth C.

OH, CHRIS, YOU STUPID ASS FOOL.

TMZ CATCHES THE despised singer threatening to ‘turn this hos butt up,” or something to that effect when a valet outside LA’s PINZ bowling alley demands $10 for parking Wednesday night. It’s an ugly scene captured on tape and it shows Brown’s roiling sense of entitlement and violent tendencies.

DON’T GO BREAKING HIS HEART

Credit: Michael Kovac/ Getty Images

Elton John Extends A Forgiving Hand To Chris Brown

By Jacob Wittich

REMEBER WHEN CHRIS BROWN AND his crew jumped Frank Ocean and an anti-gay slur was reportedly thrown at Ocean? Well fast-forward a few weeks and now the rumored homophobic Brown is posing with the openly gay Elton John for a few Instagram shots.

The musicians mingled at Elton’s annual AIDS Foundation Ball after the 2013 Oscars, unveiling the two stars’ close friendship. Chris even suggested that Elton helped him to get through some of the frenzy following the infamous 2009 assault on Rihanna.

“I met Elton about a year ago,” Brown told the New York Post, “and he’s been a good friend to me.”

‘NOT A MONSTER’

Chris Brown Calls Rihanna Assault His ‘Deepest Regret’

By Jacob Wittich

POP’S BIGGEST PARIAH CHRIS BROWN ADMITS THAT hitting Rihanna is the “deepest regret” of his life.

“That night was the deepest regret of my life, the biggest mistake,” Brown told the Daily Mirror during Elton John’s Aids Foundation Oscars party Sunday. “But she loves me –- what can I say? I’m forgiven …but yes, I worked hard for it.”

SWAG HAS ITS LIMITS

And Now For Some Counterprogramming To the Justin Timberlake Onslaught: Chris Brown’s Don’t Judge Me

By Elizabeth C.

IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T FIGURED IT OUT YET, I’M GENETICALLY INCAPABLE OF BEING A SHEEPLE. Feel sorry for me because it makes life harder. But you gotta be who you are, right?

So I’m confessing here and now: Justin Timberlake makes my skin crawl, and particularly in his latest iteration of swag, Suit & Tie. As hard as he’s tries, there’s no soul, no real depth in this jazzy muzak which you just know you’re about to hear on every on-hold soundtrack in America. Even David Fincher’s decision to shoot the video in black and white seems contrived. It’s fitting that Target is sponsoring this mass-produced plastic. Justin Timberlake is an organic productpropagating itself.

GIVE ‘EM HELL, ADELE

Adele’s Supposed Chris Brown Smackdown Is Poppycock

By Elizabeth C.

ADELE WANTS YOU TO KNOW that claims she stabbed her cockneyed tongue into Chris Brown are utter poppycock.

A spate of gossips published a photo of the British songstress encountering a glum-looking Brown inside Staples Center during the Grammy Awards. Several jumped to the conclusion that 21 Grammy winner sniped at him for not giving a standing ovation to Frank Ocean who had just bested him for the Best Urban Contemporary Album.

NO PARKING HERE

Frank Ocean Chooses “Peace” After Parking Fight Fiasco

By Elizabeth C.

HERE’S A LESSON WE LEARNED THIS WEEK: Don’t ever park in Frank Ocean’s parking space.

TMZ reported Monday that Frank Ocean and Chris Brown got into a tussle overnight at an L.A. recording studio over an effing parking spot. The online tab immediately followed up with claims from Brown’s camp that Ocean began the scuffle.

FROM DOWN ON HIGH

Is Breezy’s Career on Hova’s Hit List?

By Jacob Wittich

WHAT’S IT TO JAY-Z?

Media Takeout is reporting that the Hip-Hop impresario is the reason Frank Ocean wants to press charges against Chris Brown for throwing a punch at him Sunday night at an L.A. recording studio.

PLAYERS WANNA PLAY

Rihanna’s Hump-A-Dinking Chris Brown On Instagram

By Jacob Wittich

IT AIN’T NOBODY’S BUSINESS? RIIIIIGHT. Although Rihanna and Chris Brown continue to deny that the two have rekindled their romance, Rih Rih’s latest Instagram pic says otherwise.

” “@f—yopictures i don’t wanna leave!!! Killed it tonight baby!!!”, Rihanna writes after posting a photo of her hump-a-dinking Brown’s back following one of his Carpe Diem shows in Germany.