BARE FIGHTS! BICKERING! CROCODILES! OH MY!
On Thursday’s Snooki & J-Woww, the girls ditch Jersey City for a chance to relive their nonexistent college days by partying it up in Cancun. Of course, with a pregnant Nicole in tow, this trip will be anything but easy. “I’m not sure pregnancy is supposed to be a handicap,” Jenni sniffs. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
It’s 6am, and time for the girls’ flight to Cancun. As they’re gathering their things, Jenni notices her feet tanned in the worst way: It’s a sock tan. Come on, Jenni. You have a tanning booth in your house, and you still can’t get this right?
In a blink of an eye, Jenni, Rider, and Nicole are magically transformed to Cancun. At their hotel, they have a deep discussion about whether or not Cancun is tropical and if it’s an island or not. Do you think they even know they’re still in North America?
The lights in the bathroom go off while Jenni’s in the shower trying to shave her lady business, so Rider spends forever trying to figure out what switch goes to the bathroom. Jenni eventually finds the light, and in their interview together, she and Nicole discussing peeing. Today is Nicole’s “preggers day,” meaning the girls will be doing pregnant-friendly activities like going to the zoo and eating and relaxing on the beach. Nicole feels insecure showing her body on the beach, so she mopes around in her cover-up while the other girls take tequila shots together. When they finally do go on their way to the zoo, Jenni buys crocodile hats at the hotel gift shop. They stop back at the room and get dressed, and Nicole grabs her stuffed crocodile Crocodilly to introduce him to his “cousins” because, as Jenni puts it, “That’s what 10-year-olds do.”
At the zoo, the group is startled to see little monkeys roaming freely throughout the place. Crocodilly in hand, Nicole and her giant furry boots tries to stay out of the monkeys’ way — as well as away from the dozens of deer and various other animals charging towards her.
At dinner, the girls go to an outdoor restaurant where people are dancing with batons on fire. Jenni asks if you can get tan from fire, and Nicole gives a surprisingly scientific explanation about one can actually acquire a tan.
The girls go out to a club, although Nicole never said she wanted to go there. She’s bored, having to be sober while everyone is drinking and dancing. The girls have to use the bathroom, so Nicole is left alone. While they’re gone, a fight breaks out in the room. Nicole hangs back and waits for it to end. Finally, the girls arrive back and they all flee to their room.
The next morning, the foursome go swimming with the dolphins. It makes Nicole feel better about the night before, but the mood soon goes south when they return to the room. Jenni asks for a bottle of Absolut to be sent up before they go out clubbing, and Nicole gets irritated because she can’t partay with them. She gets sassy with the other girls while she’s getting ready, and then when she walks to the elevator, and then at dinner. While the others order drinks, Nicole whips out her phone and doesn’t take her eyes off it for the rest of dinner. Although yesterday was Nicole’s preggers day, it’s time for Jenni to have fun. Nicole says she’s not going out and Jenni doesn’t ask why.
As Jenni and Rider are heading out the door, it looks like Nicole is packing her things back into her suitcase. Either Jenni doesn’t notice or she doesn’t care, but this does not look good.
Next week, we see Nicole crying on the phone about how she doesn’t want to live with Jenni anymore. To make matters worse for her, she starts to question her engagement to Jionni. Oh my, we can’t saywe didn’t see this coming.
Karen Malmquist is a junior at La Salle University, and the head writer and star of In Other News, a comedy series airing in Philadelphia.