RIGHTING WRONGS, WRONGING RIGHTS

Real Housewives Of New York: Dizzy On Aviva’s Uppityness

By Trisha B.

WE’VE RETURNED FROM ST. BARTHS AND LUANN IS still talking baby talk, Sonja has a date with her ex, and Ramona plans dinner to specifically not invite Aviva and Heather. And although Aviva is the only person we’ve actually seen fall, she tells Sonja that she hates to see her spiraling downward.

We’re shopping with Aviva and her father, George, at the House of Health. The sexy suntanned silver fox tells his daughter he has a date coming into town to meet him. He says she’s an early 20s black chick who looks similar to Aviva. When he offers to introduce her, Aviva wryly tells him she just wants to meet Miss Right, not the Miss Right Nows.

As Aviva’s ordering vitamins, George asks for some horny goat weed and other stuff to help him keep it up since he forgot his stash at home in Florida. Seriously, there is no shame in this man’s game. It’s a wonder that Aviva can be such a scold with a father like George. She tells him she’s sorry things didn’t work out with Sonja. George says he’d rather hook up with Carole anyway and he’s gonna email her a love letter. Though she tries to discourage him, this gets a small chuckle from his daughter.

On a clear New York afternoon, we see Sonja, sharp as ever, strolling dejectedly towards her uptown manse. She’s back from the settlement meeting with her ex and boy oh boy, I don’t think it went well. When her young staff asks how bad it was she covers her face for a minute. Then she launches into a rant about all her friends being ladies who lunch. How their only worries are where to go for that meal. It reminds her of what her life used to look like. She’s a little distraught.

She’s crying as she tells them, and us, that it was nothing like she thought because there was an emotional component too. It turns out their lawyers negotiated between two different rooms… and she never saw him. She sounds incredibly hurt when she says she can’t keep her house. She’s angry because it seems her ex holds all the cards. As the kids try to console her, she says she just doesn’t want to move her daughter and everything else. Then Ramona calls.

She tells Ramona what she thought would happen was a fantasy. That she came out of the meeting with nothing and that he doesn’t care for her or her daughter. We hear Ramona say he at least should have seen her face to face. Sonja says now it’s about the money. She says he needs to do the right thing so her daughter can live in her childhood home, but, that’s ok, because now she’s gonna sue His… Ass… Off.

We follow Heather into a swanky nightclub. She’s decided to give a sexy fashion show and auction instead of the usual boring stand-around charity event. She’s raising money for organ transplants since her son was lucky enough to receive one. Luann and Aviva come to help out. Everyone follows Heather as she walks around planning the runway direction. She says since it’s for organ donation she thought it would be a nice idea to ask Aviva to walk in the show. After she’s asked, Aviva is shocked and pleased to be a 41-year-old amputee model.

LuAnn takes time out from baby-making to visit Sonja who seems desperate to see her. Sonja tells her that her ex doesn’t seem to care anymore and that now she has to sell her house in France, and that would make everything all right. But if not, she still may have to sell the New York townhouse. But her real concern today is taking down the portrait of her ex-husband that hangs in her dining room. She says he’s still her daughter’s father and that he’s a great man, a Morgan, pretty much American royalty. She invited LuAnn because, like her, the Countess was married royalty, they’re both single mothers and she feels she understands her situation more than Ramona. Luann tell us she does feels Sonja’s pain. Sonja says Ramona feels that if you keep yourself fit and interesting you husband will never stray. LuAnn commiserates when she says that Ramona doesn’t realize you can be the best mother and wife in the world and your relationship can still fall apart. Luann is patient and calming, telling her it’s gonna be good. She hugs her as she says everything will be great.

As the staff of an archivist company comes in to take down the expensive portrait, Sonja says it was a symbol of their love but it’s a new chapter for her. Even the company owner tries to comfort her. To complete her break with the past, she also asks that they take down a painting of her. When both paintings are gone they take Sonja out of the room and then bring her back in so she can get the full effect. Sonja says she feels lighter.

Aviva, looking sleek and rich in a fur collared suit, is meeting Ramona for lunch. She tells us that Ramona called her ex, the mysterious Harry, and asked a bunch of inappropriate questions about her. Ramona sweeps in, all red dress, flowing coat and large sunglasses. She’s fake bubbly as she sits down at the table.

Aviva’s demeanor is ice cold. She’s had it with this bitch and can conceal it no longer.
When Ramona doesn’t remove her sunglasses, Aviva wonders if she’s already tipsy. She’s convinced herself that Ramona lives in a drunken stupor. They revisit the St. Barth’s debacle with Ramona telling Aviva that her arrival ruined the trip. Ramona continues to insist that “you lost it,” while Aviva try to be calm and insist, “No, I was angry.” It’s like a tennis match as they toss barbs across the table in the bright, sparsely filled restaurant. When Ramona says Aviva has probably never been on a girls trip, Aviva accuses her and Sonja of having a “girls gone wild” girls trip. “Grown women going to nightclubs, dancing on tables,” she huffs, “drunk.” When Ramona says she’s making up stuff, Aviva says she and Carole caught Ramona and Sonja naked together, in bed! She is really disgusted by that little stunt. I can believe that story, but I also believe they were too drunk to care. And we know Sonja loves to be naked. When Ramona calls her uptight, Aviva takes it as a compliment. (Yet she seems to take her obnoxious father’s misdeeds so well.)

“You’re a princess,” says Ramona. Aviva calls her a 56-year-old trying to act young. Ramona says she needs to stop attacking her and accuses her of not being able to be apart from Reid. Aviva throw back that Ramona can’t be apart from alcohol. Aviva says Ramona is no friend to Sonja; that Sonja has a real problem and Ramona enables her. Ramona calls her crazy. They go at each other like two Aristo-cats, hissing a quiet refined way, leaning into each other across the table. No one else in the restaurant seems to hear them, no heads are turning. But their voices must be rising because suddenly, in the background, we glimpse a server frozen in place and staring at the camera, dead into their conversation. Well, someone had to notice that they hadn’t stopped yapping since Ramona sat down. Ramona sees this going nowhere and throws in the towel. But only after telling Aviva she has a stick up her ass. Then it’s see ya when I see ya. But they continue tossing insults until Ramona leaves the room. Aviva says she wants to stay as far away from her as possible.

In a sunny, light-filled deluxe apartment, 150 stories in the skkkkkkyyyy, Ramona is chatting about domestic abuse. A victim herself, Ramona devotes her time and money to rescue other women. Today she’s having a charity fashion show for a women’s shelter. Carole and Heather have come to support the cause. Heather needs to use the ladies and when she’s gone, Carole asks Ramona how she’s been. Ramona immediately tells her how vicious Aviva was to her at lunch. When Carole asks if Aviva’s been invited Ramona says yes, but it was before their awful meeting. Ramona says if she does come it had better be with an apology. Ramona’s full of snark when she tells us that, with Aviva’s phobias about everything, and with the penthouse rising so high, she really doesn’t expect her to be able to make it. I’m feeling a bit dizzy looking at the view out of the floor to ceiling windows on television. When Carole tells her Aviva was really upset, Ramona says its OK to be upset but not vicious and mean. LuAnn and Sonja make their appearance and on their heels comes… George, Aviva’s father. He lurks in the background as Ramona briefly relates her story to the group and thanks them for coming.

Let’s start the show.

Luann is the first Housewife to sidle up and greet George. When she asks what brings him there he says he’s there to contribute. He lets her know that Aviva is not coming since she’s “scrapping with Ramona.” George tells LuAnn his daughter is really upset, that people don’t understand about her panic attacks. He believes Ramona has been making fun of Aviva’s phobias. He tells Carole he’s there to ask Ramona to help resolve it. Meanwhile, true to Ramona’s word, Aviva tells us she couldn’t take the elevator to the 90th floor. She says it didn’t dawn on her to mail the check so she sent her lecherous father into an all-female event on domestic abuse. Good thinking.

At the fashion show, everyone ooohs and aaaahs as the models hit the runway. Ramona greets George pleasantly enough, and she’s happy when he tells her Aviva’s not attending. Sonja asks us “what can he say that would be positive.” She feels bad vibes. When George offers Ramona his contribution she tells him to put it in a jar. Then she suddenly says she doesn’t want the money without an apology. Whaaa, what about the abuse victims?

Ramona tells George he shouldn’t get involved and tries to get him to leave. He accuses her of making fun of Aviva’s panic disorder and the fact that she needs Reid. George pretty much says she has a lot of problems; Ramona says she accepts her problems but not her abuse. She tells us she likes George and he shouldn’t have been sent there.

As Ramona runs down to everyone all the horrible things Aviva did to her, calling her a drunk, George butts in and says she should apologize and says she’s 100 percent wrong. Sonja interrupts to say “white trash doesn’t apologize.” As Ramona walks away, George goes to touch her arm to get her attention. She flips out at this and keeps telling him to not grab her arm. Sonja says you don’t grab a woman at a domestic violence event!

LuAnn, really laid back and wise this week, tells us George shouldn’t have been sent into a room with 30 women… and Ramona. Meanwhile, George walks over to Carole to vent. After she asks him how he is and he says he’s still really upset, she thinks he should leave. But before he goes he tries to make a date with her. Such a scamp! That takes the cake for Ramona and she asks security to escort him out. So now George steaming as Carole and Heather walk out with him.

Outside in the hallway, George calls Ramona a “trailer turd.” Well, since the white trash doesn’t fall far from the trailer turd, we know now where Aviva got her superiority complex. Carole tells us she was trying to get George out in a dignified way. George is still ranting, insisting Ramona needs to apologize. He rails that he and his daughter have probably given the most money. Carole says he was embarrassed but that he shouldn’t have been there. Sonja says Aviva’s father enables her behavior. Ramona tells us, “She sent him alone to do her dirty work. Who does that?” Yeah, who does that?