By Karen Malmquist
YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN TROUBLE WHEN THE MORALLY CORRUPT FAYE RESNICK arrives to lay down the law, and SHE isn’t the one being targeted. After getting into a verbal smack-down with Camille in season one, she’s back to lend her wisdom to Brandi on Monday’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Taylor asks if Brandi is okay after Paul repeatedly calls her a bitch in front of everyone at Mauricio’s party. In case anyone forgets, Paul and Adrienne hurled every insult imaginable at Brandi when Kim let them know that Brandi revealed a huge Maloof family secret at the Sur tasting.
Lines are being drawn, and it looks like Taylor is leaning toward Team Brandi for the time being, while Camille feels for Adrienne. Taylor says she empathizes with Brandi, but Camille says Paul and Adrienne were just reacting to what they heard from Kim, and that they were mad. Taylor says that this group has a history of saying some nasty things about each other — nodding at Camille — and that what Brandi said about Taylor is not cause for what just happened. Camille gets mad, because Taylor is trying to compare this to when Camille confronted her and the group about Russell’s abuse last season.
Ken is home from hip replacement surgery, and is sure milking it with Lisa. He needs his biscuits and he needs his tea, while Lisa is practically building a house outside with construction people. God knows what exactly she’s doing, but it looks more important than finding biscuits for Ken’s tea.
Kim goes to the gym with her daughters, and they discuss her son Chad’s upcoming 21st birthday. Kim’s taking him to Las Vegas, and she’s worried that Vegas is a slippery slope for her. However, her girls remind her that she’s got meetings set up for her to go to if she feels like she needs any help.
Mauricio lets Kyle know that he’s not crazy about Kyle inviting Brandi to her upcoming dinner party, which was planned before the fight at his own party. He thinks Brandi creating a ton of BS that didn’t need to happen, and he’s worried that more will go down if she and Adrienne are in the same room again.
Kyle then goes to lunch with Resnick and tells her all about the Brandi/ Adrienne fight. Faye has made it clear that she’s not a fan of Brandi, and she’s definitely not changing her mind now. We actually don’t know if she’s even feeling anything right now, because her face is frozen in a constant frown.
Brandi is on her way over to hang out with Lisa, but not before Sheena (the first of her ex Eddie Cibrian’s ‘Other’ Women) asks Lisa if she can talk to Brandi and try to clear the air. Lisa says maybe some other time, and Sheena completely understands.
Yolanda works out with her trainer, saying that she wants to outlive all three of her husband’s ex-wives. Her workout routine involves a lot of grunting and not wearing a proper sports bra, apparently.
Brandi arrives at Lisa’s house to talk about what happened with Adrienne. She tells her about how she thinks Adrienne and Paul sold a story to RadarOnline about her “partying.” Lisa agrees that it’s a bit shady that a day after Adrienne says that Brandi is a bad mom and “sleeps until 3pm and ignores her kids and parties too hard and does drugs,” that exact story lands on the front of the online tabloid. Brandi’s worried about the Maloof-Nasifs “power” and a possibility of them taking legal action against her.
Kyle’s party begins, with all of Kyle’s fancy friends arriving. Unfortunately, Faye and Camille don’t butt heads or anything. Brandi arrives, and she mingles pretty well with everyone so far, except she’s a foot taller than all the women.
Adrienne hasn’t arrived yet, so there’s one empty space at the dinner table. Kyle does a toast to Faye for helping turn her new dining room into a masterpiece, and then things start to get heavy. Kyle first tells everyone that Yolanda couldn’t make it because she was at Donna Summer’s funeral, and then that Kim is in Vegas with Chad. She says that she doesn’t understand why Kim didn’t invite her to the family event.
Kyle’s friend Marisa asks why Adrienne isn’t there, and Kyle gives Brandi the nod to explain the situation. Brandi gives her side of the story, namely to Faye, who is demanding to know what’s happening. Faye nods during Brandi’s story, and then tries to convince her to call Adrienne to apologize. Brandi says that Adrienne hasn’t moved to make up either. Lisa and Kyle start talking over each other about who should apologize. Brandi tells Faye that this really isn’t any of her business, and Kyle’s friend Marisa insinuates herself into the quarrel, saying that she agrees with Brandi. Faye tells Marisa that she doesn’t even know Brandi, and Marisa tells Faye that she doesn’t know Brandi either.
Faye says that Brandi just wants attention and keeps making vicious attacks for that reason. “You say things that are hurtful, I just think that you’ve been hurt a lot and you have to attack people.” Brandi leaves the table, and Kyle recaps the night in one word: “S***.”
Next week, it’s all about marriage as Taylor gets a call asking for her wedding ring back, Camille pours her heart out to Brandi about Kelsey’s control over their children, and Brandi meets with Sheena.
Karen Malmquist is a senior at La Salle University, and is a member of the Overpopulated Peninsula comedy troupe. You can follow her on Twitter @KarenSays.