By Karen Malmquist
THERE’S BEING TARDY FOR THE PARTY, AND then there’s being so late that the party’s over before you even arrive. On Sunday’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the ladies manage to miss a party thrown in their honor, but somehow negotiate for a cheese plate. Don’t say they aren’t good businesswomen.
NeNe and Gregg have finally settled into their LA home, so they decide to invite the girls to come visit before they head to Vegas together. NeNe seems to think there will be no drama on the trip, because Kenya and Phaedra will stay away from each other. Honey, if that was the case, this trip wouldn’t have made it onto the show.
The ladies get in a limo to take them from the airport to the hotel, but they hit a speed bump when they learn the car is too big to drive up the winding Hollywood Hills. Kenya offers to try and drive the limo up the hill, but NeNe drives down just in the nick of time to get them. Luckily no drama has started yet, thanks to Phaedra missing her flight and giving Kenya no one to fight with…so far.
When everyone gets to NeNe’s massive house, she has them all join her outside on the deck for a toast to Hollywood. After that, they pile back into the limo to head to their hotel. NeNe loves her friends, but knows better than to let them stay with her.
Three hours later, Phaedra finally gets to the hotel NeNe’s putting them up in, and she is wiped out. They’re all supposed to be back to the house at 9 for a big fancy dinner NeNe’s throwing for all of them to meet her LA friends, but for some reason they’re not on their way until after 11pm. When Cynthia gets NeNe on the phone, she tells them not to bother coming anymore because it’s so late. So what do they do? Show up at 11:40, expecting NeNe to let them in. She doesn’t. NeNe may be in the Hollywood Hills, but she says she can still get hood when she needs to.
The Hummer limo rolls up almost three hours late to the party, and NeNe and Gregg are not happy. NeNe is not messing around, unresponsive to the ladies’ pouting, but Gregg caves and goes back inside to wrap up some leftover cheese for them.
On the ride out, Kandi is a little irked, and persuades their driver to take them to Fat Burger on the way back to the hotel. Well, they could’ve had a real dinner if they showed up to party, you know, three hours earlier.
The next morning, the ladies have a big day ahead of them. Kenya gets up early to make breakfast for everyone to make sure they’re all out of the house when they need to be. She’s also finished working out, so she flaunts her stallion body around the kitchen for everyone — especially Phaedra, probably — to see. Meanwhile, Porsha tries to make the coffee, but doesn’t know how to work the coffee maker. Kenya bites her tongue. Porsha’s supposed to be a true-blue housewife, but can’t make coffee? What else does she have to do during the day that she can’t make her own coffee?
NeNe has set up a workshop for everyone at the famed Groundlings Theater, which means we’re gonna see them try their hand at improv, and the comedian teaching the class gets to deal with them for an hour. Kenya explains over breakfast that a lot of famous comedians have come from the Groundlings, and Phaedra is annoyed that Miss USA is trying to play Miss Tour Guide.
At the Groundlings, improv coach Jeremy asks the ladies about their acting experience. Then they do some warm-up exercises, which include having one person stand off to the side while the others shout compliments at them. The best? Kenya complimenting Phaedra on her bunions, and Porsha complimenting Kenya on her invisible bellybutton. Sure, none of them are the next Kristen Wiig, but the backhanded praises are at least mildly amusing.
NeNe arrives to the theater an hour late, just as the workshop is wrapping up. Oh, how the tables have turned. In her interview, she says, “I get it. They didn’t want me to out-act them. I get it!”
Ater the improv class, NeNe takes the ladies on a tour of Paramount Studios, driving them around on one of those giant golf cart things and almost crashing it a few times. She takes them through the Glee set, showing off Coach Roz’s trailer before taking them to The New Normal. Kenya’s impressed with NeNe’s real estate on the set, saying that her first movie trailer was “the bathroom.”
That night, they all go out to dinner at The Beverly. Porsha doesn’t want to order a hard drink, which tips Phaedra off that she may be trying to get pregnant. Things go well until Porsha asks Phaedra about the progress of her workout DVD. To be fair, Cynthia asks Kenya how hers is going. Silence falls over the table as they all realize that the fun has officially been sucked out of the room.
Kenya mentions that she broke up with Walter, and Cynthia asks if she’d be more comfortable if the husbands kept their distance from him. She says she’s fine with Peter and the gang still being chummy with Walter, and Porsha lets her know that he was at Kordell’s birthday party. Kenya gets visibly upset when Porsha says Walter looked like he had a great time at the party, and excuses herself from the table. Ugh, here we go.
NeNe goes running after Kenya and finds her in the bathroom. She asks why Kenya is so upset, and Kenya says that she wants her non-friends at the table to back-off of her personal life.
Meanwhile, Phaedra tells the others that Walter seems to be quite the ladies man, going out with plenty of women since Kenya. Ouch.
Next week, the ladies head to Vegas, tears are shed, and Phaedra compliments a stripper on how nicely she’s “shaved up.” And no, it’s not the stripper who cries.
Karen Malmquist is a senior at La Salle University, and is a member of the Overpopulated Peninsula comedy troupe. You can follow her on Twitter @KarenSays.