THE ART OF PHOTOSHOP

Paper Dolls: Kardashian Sisters Look Surreal In Ad For Swimsuit Line

By Linda Seccaspina

I‘M LOOKING AT THE NEW PHOTOS OF THE Kardashian sisters from their new swimwear collection and now understand why Britain has banned digital manipulation. Let’s take a look-see, shall we?

Kim Kardashian: I wonder if Kim Kardashian is waist training in private because there is no way that body belongs to her. Granted, she has a great hourglass figure, but here she looks like she is a paperdoll with all those waist and hip photoshopped angles. Kim’s nose is barely there and appears as if she’s been frequenting the late Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeons. Also, her right arm is thinner and shorter than the other and seems to have some malformed stump for a hand. What happened to her real head and why is it so small? Did she have her brains removed? Wait, let’s not even go there!

Kourtney Kardashian: Kourtney’s facial expression reveals that she does not want to be participating in the photo shoot. Is she is posing sideways so they could photoshop her pregnancy out of the picture. Will this provoke pro-lifers to protest of “fetus removal through photoshop”? Again, both arms do not match and her extended arm has very little elbow

Khloe Kardashian: In real life that girl has a zaftig figure and there no way those Victoria’s Secret gams belong to her. Kardashian has a hell of an appetite which you know if you watch The Kardashians and Khloe & Lamar and she is no size 4. Khole’s waist is smaller than Kim’s in the picture and why would they cover her up if she was as small as they created her?

The Kardashians always talk big game about being happy with themselves and promoting a different look than other celebrities, but in reality they’re the among the worst offenders of beauty bias. And like a pig in a dress, you can disguise the fact but it doesn’t make it any less of a pig.

Linda Seccaspina loves snark and scandal and can’t wait for Beyoncé to get busted for faking her pregnancy. She writes regularly for the dating site Zoomers. Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee.