WHACK WEDNESDAY
Nancy Grace’s Breast Escapes, Rihanna Gets Banished & Hallmark Strikes While Bitter’s Hot
By Miz J
ALL RIGHT, FIRST THINGS FIRST: who laughed their asses off when they heard about Nancy Grace’s wardrobe malfunction on Dancing With Irrelevant Stars? I think we should all sit around and judge her as harshly as she does everyone else.
I mean, can you IMAGINE being her assistant, her nanny, or, God help us all, her SPOUSE? Someone should do routine suicide watches for these folks. But hey, leave it to that catty bitch Karma to even the score. If you haven’t already, watch, point and laugh at Nancy as she falls from grace (ooh, see what I did there?).
America’s Pop Queen Rihanna doesn’t have much of a throne to sit on in Ireland. This week, while shooting her We Found Love video, she was asked to leave the land where the shoot became too risqué.
Alan Graham, the man who owns the farmland where the video shoot was taking place, told Morning Ireland: “Perhaps the location manager wasn’t totally aware of my expectations.” When pressed for details, Graham didn’t give it up. But he DID suggest that Rihanna could “acquaint herself with a greater God.” So let me get this straight, RiRi. You tried to strip and do a sexy dance in highly Catholic Northern Ireland? How did you think that might go? She’s lucky they haven’t heard of her — that “S&M”single alone would net her approximately 39573967 Hail Marys.
And in a sign of the times, Hallmark has rolled out a line of cards for those who’ve been laid off. Intended to promote encouragement, the cards feature sentiments like “Don’t think of it as losing your job. Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses.” Speaking as someone who’s been laid off about five times in seven years, I can say two things with just a TWINGE of bitterness:
1. I’d much rather you bought me a shot of whiskey because
2. It will give me the courage I need to reverse my fortunes once they get the karaoke machine all set up.
Miz J has an attitude. Deal with it. Check out her NSFW comedy podcast, I SAID IT, on iTunes or follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @askmizj.
