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SEMANTICS

Credit: Bravo

Camille Grammer Back On Housewives? Depends On Definition Of 'On"

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.DESPITE DECEPTIVE HEADLINES, Camille Grammer won't really be back on Housewives, after all.

She will be seen, probably at one fabulous party after another, but according to HuffPost, she's no longer an "official" Housewife and she's not on the Bravo payroll (like she needs their coins).

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May 04, 2012

PEACE ACCORD

When Camille & Kelsey were family

Kelsey & Camille Grammer Settle Custody Battle

By Elizabeth C.

TMZ REPORTS THAT KELSEY GRAMMER AND HIS EX-WIFE CAMILLE HAVE SETTLED THEIR CONTENTIOUS BATTLE OVER CHILD CUSTODY.

The estranged exes have agreed to "joint custody" of their two children, 10-year-old Mason and 7-year-old Jude.

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February 28, 2012

YOU'RE KILLING US

Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Reunion Redux Ad Naseum

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.IN HONOR OF AN APPEARANCE TONIGHT BY THE ELUSIVE KIM RICHARDS, I plan to recap with a glass or two of box wine. Damn you Andy Cohen for dragging this reunion out for three freakin' weeks. And that's not the wine talking.

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February 14, 2012

REUNION PART DEUX

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion: Bleeping Famewhores

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.ANDY KICKS OFF THIS SECOND PART OF THE REUNION WITH A REALLY GOOD QUESTION FOR BRANDI: Was it harder getting around Beverly Hills on crutches or getting along with these bitc… ladies? Let's find out.

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February 07, 2012

REUNION RECAP

Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion: Hoof-In-Mouth Disease

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.ANOTHER REUNION, ANOTHER SEASON DOWN. Andy, the giddy and goofy king, holds court in the middle of a Housewife semicircle. The queens, er…ladies, dressed to the nines, are arrayed on either side of him. They're in another garishly decorated hotel ball/conference room, waiting to rehash all the horrid things they've said behind each other's backs.

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January 31, 2012

RESOLUTIONS

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Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Going Out On A High

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.REALLY? A COLONOSCOPY AND A WEDDING? Is this really how you want to end the season?

At casa Vanderpump/Todd, things seem to be humming along but Lisa insists it's a chaotic mess of mass proportions. She's stripping flowers and venting frustration with Ken, who doesn't seem to be helping enough. She frightens him so he runs back to work. Her helping with the flowers must be part of her cost cutting move with wedding planner Kevin.

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January 24, 2012

STEPFORD HOUSEWIVES

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Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: SURiously?

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.THE EXPANSION OF LISA AND KEN'S RESTAURANT SUR is complete. You know what that means. Get your fancy pants on, we're going to a launch party. Gosh, I'm barely recovered from the grueling vacation in Hawaii. Let the air-kissing begin.

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January 18, 2012

UNMOORED

Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Snakes On A Boat

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WE WEREN'T FOOLED WHEN BRAVO PRODUCERS tried to make us think Russell did the deed last week by injecting a sudden call from Taylor followed by a double gasp from Lisa and Kyle. Since that drama is still to come there's not much Taylor this week.

We're still in the paradise that is Lanai, Hawaii, where the living is easy. Adrienne and Paul, holding hands, walk along a rusty colored, rocky trail that leads to the edge of a large cliff. They kiss while standing on the tip and both think about how romantic the moment is. Then they talk about weeds and snakes.

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January 10, 2012

UNRAVELING

Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Uncoupling

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WE LEFT THE LADIES HUDDLED IN THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO, with Kyle, Adrienne and Lisa trying to convince Russell that Camille was just repeating what Taylor said. He just cannot believe his wife spilled all their marriage beans and insists they were spouting untruths. And Taylor is stunned to find out he's been sending her friends threatening emails. It's going to be an uncomfortable ride home.

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January 03, 2012

BURN

Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: The Suspense Is Killing Me

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.OH, PAUL. He can't work the printer in his office. He's so lovable, look at him.

Anyway, Adrienne comes in and tells him "remember that thing that happened between Camille and Taylor at the tea party, well, Russell didn't like that. He's sent an email to Camille threatening to sue& nbsp;"

"Because she repeated something Taylor said,?" Paul finishes. Even he's learned the party line.

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December 20, 2011

JUGGLING ASSORTED BALLS

Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Slouching In Gommorah

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.ON A BRILLIANT SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DAY, WE JOIN TAYLOR AND LISA while having a lunch and chat on the small patio of Lisa's Villa Blanca. The Beverly Hills restaurant is decorated so pristinely white it's blinding. I would only order white wine for fear of immediately spilling my drink on the linen tablecloth.

Taylor tells Lisa that she was drunk at Brandi's get together and that's why she lashed out at DD. She says it only takes 2 glasses of wine for her to be three sheets to the wind. Right, just like the classic, " only had two beers, officer."

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December 18, 2011

REAL TIME BREAKDOWN

Credit: Bravo/Tvology

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Beach Bellydancing Breakdown

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WE LEFT TAYLOR ARMSTRONG AS SHE WAS HUGGING AND SMILING AT HER HUSBAND, their daughter in her arms, the picture of a classic BH family. We know it doesn't last but can she hold it together this week? Let's find out.

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December 06, 2011

KICKIN' IT

Maloof Hoof

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Waiting For The Shoe To Drop

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.LISA'S RUNNING LATE. WE SEE HER HURRIEDLY ENTERING HER GREAT MANSION, and almost immediately, Ken and Pandora starts grousing about her tardiness. The wedding planners are here!

For her invitations Pandora finally chose a fancy white fabric box, encircled in thick pink ribbon with a sparkly, diamondy clasp.

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November 30, 2011

PROLOGUE IS PAST

Crying John

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Even Cowgirls Get The Blues

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WHE WE LAST VISITED THE LADIES, TAYLOR WAS IN A BAD WAY and sobbing on Lisa's living room couch. She beseeched Lisa to not be her enemy if she couldn't find it in herself to be her friend. Her closest friend, Kyle, took a step back from her. And then Camille outted her as an abused woman. How do you recover from a tea party like that? Let's find out.

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November 22, 2011

FOREBODING HEADLINES

Credit:  Bravo

Is Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Kim Richards Getting Played?

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.IMAY BE SHOWING MY AGE, BUT WHEN I WAS 11, among kid stars, Kim Richards was the shit.

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November 17, 2011

THE GIGGY'S UP

Credit: Bravo

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: She's Come Undone

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WELL HERE'S AN EVENT WE HAVEN'T SEEN since Kennedy's $60,000 4th birthday party. Lisa's having a tea party for the girls. Just because. Don't you have tea parties, just because? Y'all don't? Pity.

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November 15, 2011

ERASING TIME

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: The Time Traveling Wives

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.TONIGHT WE FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS AT THE SOIRÉE DUBBED "Paul's Night of Beauty." We see Kyle being led back to Adrienne's husband Paul's surgical suite. It seems Paul, the facial plastic surgeon, has these nights of fillers and botox every so often so Adrienne's girlfriends can test out the newest in, let's say, "maintenance products." Makes you wonder what kind of parties those rich Beverly Hills gynecologists and proctologists give for their wives' friends.

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November 08, 2011

Credit: Bravo

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Gorging On Fabulosity

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.COME. LET'S POP SOME BUBBLY in our friend Mohamed's amazing mansion, a place so magnificent it even boggles Lisa's mind. This week we're invited to the engagement party for Lisa's daughter Pandora and her handsome fiance, Jason. Oooo, I can smell the money. Remember to wipe your feet before entering!

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November 01, 2011

THE POISON SISTERS

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Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Bully For You

By Karen Malmquist

Karen M.BEFORE WE RESUME WATCHING KIM AND KYLE PECK BRANDI to death with their pointy little noses and their dangerously cutting mouths (yes, I can bully too!), Lisa stops by Adrienne's to give her a cooking lesson.

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October 25, 2011

DEADLY FUN

Credit: Bravo

The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: The Hunger Games

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WE OPEN IN THE KITCHEN OF LISA'S BREATHTAKING MANSION WHERE she's prepping for a dinner party. After instructing her housekeeper on properly setting the table, she actually cooks something.

I only see two salads, one potato and one green, but she did make them with her own hands. While she cooks Ken putters around with Giggy in his arms. Lisa's dressed in my favorite outfit, jeans and a white shirt, but looks fabuloso.

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October 12, 2011

COCK-Y

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The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: Bitter Leaves An Aftertaste

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WE HEAR LOTS OF CRUNCHING AS KYLE AND TAYLOR, wobbling on their stilettos, visit Dana for lunch.

Kyle is cursing the pebbled path and every homeowner who has one. Dana opens the door in a wedding dress and tiara. Ooh, did we interrupt something?

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October 04, 2011

ULTIMATE VOYEURISM

Credit: Bravo

Bravo Crosses Line With Deathploitation Of Russell & Taylor Armstrong Recap

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.RADARONLINE confirms that Bravo will air the counseling sessions of troubled Beverly Hill Housewife Taylor Armstrong and her deceased husband, Russell. The only concession they're making is not airing Russell's private sessions. They will air Taylor's.

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September 29, 2011

SECOND TAKE

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Keep Your Frenemies Closer: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.THIS WEEK'S IT'S ONE BIG PROBLEM as Adrienne agonizes over moving her basketball team, and one little problem as Kyle goes bubble-headed over a fundraiser.

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September 28, 2011

SECOND TAKE

Credit: Bravo

Keep Your Frenemies Closer: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.THIS WEEK'S IT'S ONE BIG PROBLEM as Adrienne agonizes over moving her basketball team, and one little problem as Kyle goes bubble-headed over a fundraiser.

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NOTHING'S SECRET

Credit: Bravo

The Real Wives Of Beverly Hills: Wounds Visible & Unseen

By Karen Malmquist

Karen M.NOW THAT TAYLOR HAS PULLED HERSELF OUT OF THE SUITCASE, LET'S RETURN TO THE DRAMA SURROUNDING Kim's confusion over attending the Sacramento Kings basketball game.

Adrienne and Paul are co-owners of the troubled basketball team, which may be moving to a different city. The couple is now waiting in the private jet, and Kim still sounds like a mess. Once she arrives, she's slurring her words a little bit, and blaming her tardiness on the power going out on her block.

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September 27, 2011

SLIPPING

Credit: Bravo

She's Come Undone: A Real Housewives Of Bevery Hills Recap

By Karen Malmquist

Karen M.TAYLOR'S COMING UNDONE BEFORE OUR EYES.

She and Kyle are still having their heart-to-heart in the hot tub outside. Then they climb out and Taylor jumps into Kim's bed and continues to cry. It's clear Taylor has had too much to drink, but it's upsetting to see her like this.

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September 21, 2011

TOMORROW NEVER COMES

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The Scarlett O'Hara Of The Hills: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.WE PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF -- WITH Taylor and Kyle luxuriating in the hot tub of stone.

While Camille and the others nap, the chefs cook dinner for the ladies. We see Taylor waking up Kim to moan out her tale of woe. She's drunk and telling Kim how poor she grew up and how scared she is of being poor again. She's the Scarlett O'Hara of the Hills.

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September 20, 2011

SECOND TAKE

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The Upside Of Suicide: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.THIS IS WHY I LOVE BRAVO.

In the previouslies, it made sure to show Ken at the dinner party holding Giggy, while the dog drank out of a beautiful, fragile champagne glass. And Ken drinking out of the same glass right after. So, again, I got to see Kim's awesome ugh, ugh, ugh reaction to the sight of it. The sight still makes me gag. But let's move on. Kyle's up first.

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September 14, 2011

PROCESSING GRIEF

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Suicide As Story Arc: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Trisha B.

Trisha B.THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

Funereal music plays as the Housewives sans Taylor gather at Adrienne Maloof's mansion. Lisa VanderCamp walks across the street from her mansion, holding hands with husband Ken.

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September 06, 2011