THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Watch 'Flashed Face Distortion Effect' Turn Pretty Into Ugly

HERE'S PROOF POSITIVE THAT YOU REALLY NEED to give people your full attention when you want to see them accurately.

Check out the YouTube video below posted by TangenCognitionLab. The footage illustrates the optical illusion known as "flashed face distortion effect' wherein faces look monstrous and deformed when flashed side by side on a computer screen. The effect was discovered by accident last year by University of Queensland researcher Sean Murphy. He and fellow researchers Jason M. Tangen, and Matthew B. Thompson concluded that

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May 25, 2012

AWWW

Adele As Tiny Songtress Playing Different Instrument

BILLBOARD WINNER ADELE USED TO PLUCK AT A DIFFERENT INSTRUMENT BEFORE SHE WOWED THE WORLD WITH HER VOICE. Here's a photo of the tiny songtress tracked down by Snakkle (never heard of them) when she was a wee one.

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May 22, 2012

FINGER TO GO

Teen Gets Finger In Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich

FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD RYAN HART COULDN'T BE BLAMED FOR WANTING TO DELIVER A KNUCKLE SANDWICH TO an Arby's employee. That's because when the teen bit into an Arby's roast beef sandwich, he chomped down on something "nasty."

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May 17, 2012

POW WOW

Beautiful Smithereens: Photographer Alan Sailer Takes Aim & Hits Bullseye

DESTRUCTION CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL THING. Just ask high-speed saboteur Alan Sailer who torpedoes food and thrift finds for fun.

The California engineer has won acclaim for his photographs of time-delayed mutilation. He works out of his garage using a homemade camera with the shutterspeed set to a one-second delay. Once he's got his subjects in place, he blows them up with a pellet rife rifle, firecracker or a handmade armament made with PVC pipe and sprinkler valve. Then he captures the resulting mayhem with his lens. The results are dazzling images of items being blown to smithereens. Above is "There's Always Room For Jello." Sailer writes on his Flickr page. "The room is a lot messier as a result. At least I was smart enough to buy sugar free Jello."

All words following photos are from Sailer's Flickr notes.

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May 16, 2012

HARDENED CRIMINAL?

'Anonymous' Suspect Enjoys Life Of The Mind While Imprisoned

AT FIRST GLANCE, THE HEADLINE READS LIKE AN ONION article:

"Chicago man in Anonymous hacking case biding time in jail by reading"

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May 14, 2012

ASK A MAN

Jon Hamm (Sort Of) Gives Teenage Girls Permission To Fart In Front Of Boyfriends

WHAT WOULD DON DRAPER DO IF HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE MEGAN ASS BLASTED GAS inside Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce?

That's a trick question, because the women of Mad Men don't fart.

Oh sure, Roger could get away with it, and Pete would brag about it. And Don? Don's emissions would be memorialized in an eponymous tumblr account. He's just that fucking cool. But the women of Mad Men don't fart.

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May 10, 2012

ONE OF A KIND

Imperfect Death For Maurice Sendak, Author Of 'Perfect' Children's Book

DEATH SEEMS TOO ORDINARY an ending for Maurice Sendak, the cranky, brilliant writer who perfected the children's picture book. The widely hailed author and illustrator of Where The Wild Things Are, died today from complications of a stroke. He was 83.

Journalists, editors and authors delivered effusive tributes to the "genius" who penned imaginary worlds populated by scallywags and monsters, fears and resolutions. The New York Times hailed him as the "author of splendid nightmares"; The Washington Post anointed him "a scowling monument of 20th century children’s literature." Entertainment Weekly called him "a true creative force with singular vision."

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May 08, 2012

SNIFF SNIFF

RIP, Meow: Too Fat To Be Saved, But Just Right For TV

HE WAS MEOW, A PHOTOGENIC FAT CAT WHOSE OBESITY ENTERTAINED THE MASSES. But just weeks after being surrendered by the family of his dying caretaker and thrust into the national spotlight, the five-year-old tabby has passed.

Meow suffered "respiratory distress" over the weekend and wasn't able to be saved, according to Mary Martin, director of Santa Fe Animal Shelter & Humane Society.

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May 07, 2012

IMAGINE

Chicago Silkscreen Artist Seeks 'Kickstart' For Gig Poster Gallery

THE FUTURE HOME OF GALERIE F IN CHICAGO'S GRITTY LOGAN SQUARE NEIGHBORHOOD IS CURRENTLY AN EYESORE, a boarded up storefront obscuring rotting floor and ripped out walls and a single forgotten porcelain toilet.

But silkscreen artist Zissou Tasseff-Elenkoff sees opportunity: a blank space upon which to build a 9-to-5 gallery selling highly collectible gig posters produced by silkscreen artists from around the world.

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May 01, 2012

CATTY CONVERSATION

Anderson Cooper Compares Fat Cat To 'Big Tub Of Jello'

POOR MEOW, TIPPING THE SCALE AT 37 pounds and being forced to succumb to the white heat of fame, all for our entertainment pleasure.

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April 30, 2012

SEXY HAZING

Carder Ringleader Required Gang Orgies To Keep The Po Po Away

AN INDIAN MAN WHO RAN A credit card cloning ring required criminal partners to participate in orgies to keep the PoPo away.

Vikas Yadav would recruit partners for his electronic card cloning ring in sadomasochistic sex chat rooms, according to Athens-Clarke, Ga. police Detective Beverly Russell.

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WHAT GOES UP...

Having A Bear Of A Time

TALK ABOUT BEING IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

We're not talking about the bear who had the misfortune to wander up a tree near the University of Colorado campus near Boulder, Colo. early this morning. We're taking about photographer Andy Duann of the student-run CU Independent, who snapped the tranquilized beast as he fell about 15 feet onto a matt staged below.

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April 26, 2012

THAT'S NUTS!

WTF?! Ballsy Entrepreneur Sells "Neuticles" For Neutered Pooches

IF YOU POKED YOUR DOG'S EYES OUT, WOULD HE NOTICE? Of course he would, until you replaced it with a marble eye, in which case he wouldn't feel quite so freakish, even if it looked a little wonky.

Ditto his testicular sack. You think your dog doesn't hide his head in shame once you neuter him? Of course it's the right thing to do, but what about your dog's permanently shrunken ego?

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CLOTHES MAKE THE HOUND

Fedora-Wearing Beast Loses Out To 'Most Beautiful Bulldog'

SCRUNCH WAS ROBBED! Tthat's our take after checking out his competition in the 33rd annual "Beautiful Bulldog" in Des Moines, Iowa Monday.

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April 24, 2012

NO SYMPATHY FOR THE LADIES

Christian Louboutin Reveals Sadistic Streak, Calls Heels "Pleasure With Pain"

"HIGH HEELS ARE "PLEASURE WITH PAIN,'' SHOE DESIGNER CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN tells Grazia magazine in an interview picked up by the Telegraph. "I really have not so much sympathy,'' he says. "If Tina Turner and Prince's back-up band can perform on stage in them for three hours, you can't tell me they are impossible to walk in.

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April 20, 2012

THE LUCKY UNBORN

Pugilist Mike Tyson Reveals He Knocked Up Jail Official

MIKE TYSON'S ALL ABOUT THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH THESE DAYS, AND THAT INCLUDES SHARING THAT HE knocked up a prison official while spending three years in prison on rape charges.

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TAKING A BITE OUT OF CRIME

He's 'Snackman,' Fighting Crime One Pringle At A Time

ARMED WITH NOTHING BUT A PACK OF PRINGLES AND SOME GUMMI BEARS, 24-year-old Charles Sonder halted a scuffle on a New York subway without even breaking from snacking.

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April 17, 2012

SPOOKED

New Jersey House Is Haunted? I Believe It!

A NEW JERSEY COUPLE IS SUING THEIR LANDLORD CLAIMING THEIR THREE-BEDROOM RENTAL IS HAUNTED. One website carrying the story asks readers: "Do you believe the couple?"

Absolutely tootin', I do!! Because I've experienced my own goosebump-inducing haunting, making it easier to believe Jose Chinchilla and Michele Callan's claim that otherworldly spirits ran them from their Toms River, N.J. rental.

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V DAY FOR THE INK-STAINED

Doing Well By Doing Good: 2012 Pulitzer Prize Winners Announced

MAZEL TOV TO THIS YEAR'S PULITZER-PRIZE WINNING PRINT REPORTERS AND WRITERS, without whom the nation would be less enlightened.

That opinion may out me as "old,'' but the truth is that most news bloggers like myself are dependent on the work of the increasingly anachronistic print reporter.

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April 16, 2012

POINTLESS VIDEO OF THE DAY

Scary Dog Confronts His Scary Self In Mirror

HIS SNARL IS BAD ENOUGH, BUT THIS Bordeauxdog's underbite could cause you nightmares.

This dog obviously isn't a narcissist because what he sees doesn't make him happy.

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MOD SQUAD

Mad Inspired: '60s Mod Hits Clothing Market

WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, THE ONLY 60S CLOTHING I WORE WAS THE mod Carnaby Street look, complete with Twiggy dresses, Mary quant makeup and mini skirts with stockings.

We never had pantyhose and wore a half girdle or a garter belt to hold up our stockings. I never lived in Mad Men costume designer Jane Bryant's world full of suits, gloves and column gowns, but I did have a friend slightly older who did. Every single day Janet went to work in a full girdle clinging to curves under her dress.

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April 12, 2012

OUT OF THIS WORLD

Cunning Scientist Invokes Space Dinosaurs To Promote Fear, Research Paper

OOOOH! THIS IS SCARY! "CUNNING" "MONSTROUS" DINOSAURS MAY INHABIT DISTANT PLANETS, so contends a Columbia University chemist.

Scientifically speaking, the idea is bunk, but the clever Dr. Ronald Breslow figures, 'Why let facts get in the way of a good pitch?'

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TRUTH WINS

In Vindication For Gays, Psychiatrist Renounces Own Study on 'Ex-Gays'

A PSYCHIATRIST WHO claimed gays could successfully subvert their sexual identities has repudiated his own work in a The American Prospect article.

Robert Spitzer is author of a controversial 2001 study which claimed "highly motivated" gays could change their sexual orientation. But Spitzer, now 80, says he never intended that his claims be used to suggest gays could be "cured" through therapy, a practice that he admits "can be quite harmful.”

The admission comes in an article by

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April 11, 2012

CRIMINAL LOVE

Desperate To Be Married, Mom Fakes Terminal Cancer

JESSICA VEGA WANTED TO MARRY THE FATHER OF HER ONE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER BUT HE WASN'T ASKING. So the 25-year-old New Yorker concoct a plan to get sympathy: she claimed she had terminal cancer and that her dying wish was to be married.

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NEW MATH FOR TEACHERS

1+1+1 = $105 Million Lottery Windfall For Public School Employees

THREE MARYLAND PUBLIC SCHOOL EMPLOYEES POCKETED $35 MILLION EACH AFTER TURNING IN ONE OF THREE WINNING TICKETS from the record-breaking Mega Millions jackpot.

An official said the winners -- two women and one man -- have plans to share their new wealth with family and no intentions of quitting their day jobs.

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April 10, 2012

'MONSTER' APPETITES

British Pet Fatties Vie To Be The 'Biggest Loser'

A BRITISH CHARITY IS LAUNCHING A CONTEST FOR OVERWEIGHT FURRY COMPANIONS. The Pet Fit Club, which is organized by the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA) is set to begin a 'Biggest Loser' style competition for 18 four-legged waddling wonders.

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April 09, 2012

POPPIN'

Sci Fi Thriller Inspires Katy Perry's Futurepunk Pinup Style

I'M NOT A LOVER OF KATY PERRY'S CERULEAN BLUE HAIR, BUT IN May's issue of Teen Vogue, the pop princess makes sense of it all by naming her style icons.

Peruse the eclectic list that includes Judy Jetson, TV's Wonder Woman,Agyness Deyn, Chloë Sevigny, Daphne Guinness and Natalie Wood and you understand why blue hair has become her latest fashion passion.

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April 06, 2012

MISSING THE BIG PICTURE

Clueless British Writer Baffled Why Americans Like Ryan Gosling's Heroics

I'M GONNA PULL A TOURÈ HERE AND ACCUSE DAFFY BRITISH JOURNALIST LAURIE PENNY OF NOT knowing what the F she speaks of when she disses Ryan Gosling's rescue of her as no big deal.

There she was, crossing 6th Avenue, minding her business, perhaps pining for a cheese sandwich, when America's defacto "sexiest" actor plucked Penny from the path of an oncoming taxi.

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April 04, 2012

REVISIONIST HISTORY

Woman Wants Winning Lottery Ticket Back From Homeless Man

A WOMAN BUYS A LOTTERY TICKET AND actually wins $1 million dollars. In her joy, Emily Leach of Mountain View, Calif. returns to the same store, buys an armload of scratcher tickets and hands one -- along with a $100 bill -- to a homeless man standing in line behind her.

Later, Leach returns to the store and finds out the homeless man's ticket won $260,000. Oops, she didn't mean to give that ticket aways after all.

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April 02, 2012

Tiptoeing Toward Detente

HERE'S A GROUP OF DEER AND A daring white house cat discovering each other while the song Amphibian by Bjork plays in the background.

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March 29, 2012

'STUPID PET' TRICK

Dial M For Mystery: How Did A Choking Basset Hound Call For Help?

A BASSET HOUND NAMED GEORGE had a close call with death last week. The 2-year-old dog from West Yorkshire, England managed to get tangled up in a telephone cord and nearly choked to death.

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SUPERSIZED CLAIM

Woman Sues McDonald's For Turning Her Into Prostitute

THIS STORY ABOUT MCDONALD'S GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE SLOGAN 'LOVIN' IT.'

Shelley Lynn, a former prostitute and employee of the Las Vegas Chicken Ranch brothel, has realized 20 years later that working for McDonald's might not 'super size' her bank account. Lynn claims in a federal court complaint that the fast food chain played a large role in her adding 'sausage burritos' to her life by becoming a sex worker.

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THIS IS RICH

Finally! Beanie Babies Pay Off In This Hunger Games Remake

MY SON USED TO COLLECT BEANIE BABIES AND ONCE TOLD ME that these stuffed animals would pay for his college education. Twenty years later, all these creatures still still on the shelves in his childhood room gathering dust; Mom and Dad paid for his education.

This morning after viewing this Beanie Babies recreation of the box office record setting movie The Hunger Games, I finally know what I can do with them all.

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IT'S WHAT'S INSIDE THAT COUNTS

Inspired By Heartbreak & Drink, Toymaker Makes Gutsy Move

YESTERDAY THE TOPIC DU JOUR WAS MAD MEN'S JANUARY JONES EATING HER PLACENTA in order to gain nutrients following the birth of baby. Honestly, I have no problem with this as long as it's not me eating this supposed delicacy. After had my first child, my husband looked at the placenta and said it looked like a heaping plate of BBQ.

Today's stomach-churner is a IHeartGuts, a website with heart and liver, kidney, intestine, appendix, spleen, testicle, etcetera etcetera.

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March 28, 2012

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Reebok Sells Women Out In Pulled 'Cheating' Campaign

APPARENTLY INSULTING WOMEN IS THE NEW 'IN' THING THESE DAYS. Women around the world are taking Reebok to task for its latest ad campaign, "Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your workout."

Reebok has pulled the controversial sales pitch after the news of the posters went viral and people started complaining.

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March 27, 2012

DERIVATIVE?

Project Runway Designer Rami Kashou Marries Up To Bebe

PERSONALLY, I NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY FASHION DESIGNER RAMI KASHOU got the boot early on Project Runway. There just seemed to be something odd about that whole scenario as I thought Austin Scarlett or Kara should have been bid adieu before him.

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AND THE COWS JUMPED OVER THE ZOU

Happy Cows Skip To 'Zou Bisou Bisou'

HOLSTEIN COWS SKIP FOR JOY AFTER BEING RELEASED INTO A U.K. PASTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SPRING.

The footage from Compassion In World Farming was uploaded to YouTube and began popping up on sites around the web Monday.

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March 26, 2012

ADIEU DEAR

A Loss For Friends Unmet: The Flamboyant "Dame Edna" To Retire

DAME EDNA'S "MOTHER USED TO SAY THERE ARE NO STRANGERS, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia."

Tony award-winning Barry Humphries will retire along with "Dame Edna," the beloved drag queen with the purple hair and oversized rhinestone eyeglasse, after he completes his last show, Eat Pray, Laugh. Humphries will be her farewell tour in Canberra, Australia, on June 22 and then journey to Britain and New York to close Madam's 57-year-long career.

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March 21, 2012

SPECIAL DEAL FOR 'HEELS'

Malaysian Retailer's Offer: Buy Shoes, Get Heel For Free

HPayless Shoes and other discount shoe stores often have a "buy one get one free" sale, but how about this: buy a pair of shoes from a special selection at Shoes Shoes Shoes in Malaysia and they will toss in a boyfriend for free. Will this be the next Cinderella move at eHarmony?

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HOOD INSPIRED

Vogue Italia's 'Haute Mess' : Racist Or Ghetto Fab?

HUFFINGTON POST DECLARES VOGUE ITALIA'S MARCH FASHION SPREAD "HOOD COUTURE," but is it racist or just "ghetto fab"?

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March 20, 2012

SO MUCH MAS

'Shell' Shocked Over Taco Bell's New Menu Sensation

THE SINGLE GREATEST DISH YOU HAVE EVER EATEN. It is the defining challenge for all great chefs: the perfect recipe. And not just "perfect," but infallibly so. Perfect without question. Perfect with absolutely no doubt. None.

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March 19, 2012

A TOAST TO A PUNCHLINE

Kiss Me I'm Drunk -- Or An Irishman Who Can Take A Joke

THE HIPSTER STORE URBAN OUTFITTERS IS once again in the headlines over a fashion faux pas, this time their new "green" designs. No, the new duds are not environmentally friendly -- just a line of shirts and hats made especially for St. Patrick's Day. One new tee scream: "Kiss me, I'm drunk, Irish, or whatever." A trucker's style hat depicting a figure down on all fours vomiting reads, "Irish Yoga."

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March 16, 2012

THE ROYAL EFFRONTERY

Camilla Ruffles Feathers By Wearing Princess Diana's Jeweled Brooch

SINCE CAMILLA, THE DUCHESS OF CORNWALL, HELPED HERSELF TO PRINCESS DIANA'S HUSBAND PRINCE CHARLES, IT'S NO SUPRISE THAT SHE'S raided the Princess's jewelry box too.

Camilla attended the annual Cheltenham Festival's Ladies Day event in her usual boring garb and added an ugly brown hat trimmed with fur. But it wasn't her usual dowdy affect that Royal watchers were buzzing about but the brooch she was wearing: a "Prince Of Wales feathers pendant" identical to the one worn by the late Princess of Wales.

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FRAGMENTS FOR SALE

Prisms Of A Legend: Rare Marilyn Monroe Photos Up For Auction

HAPPY ENDINGS ARE BORING, WHICH IN PART EXPLAINS OF THE ETERNAL APPEAL OF MARILYN MONROE.

Born to a crazy mother, abandoned in an orphanage and bounced through foster homes, the troubled Norma Jeane Baker nevertheless morphed into the celluloid siren Marilyn Monroe.

But nearly 50 years after her untimely death, a curious public is still fitting together the fragmented pieces of her life. The latest contribution comes from the estate of Allan "Whitey" Snyder, Monroe's makeup artist whose personal collection of photos of the star will be auctioned off March 31 at Julien's Auction House.

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OBSESSED WITH DEATH

Of Dolls & Murder Retells Ghoulish Hobby Of Millionaire Heiress Sleuth

IF YOU'VE BEEN A CSI FAN FOR A FEW YEARS YOU'LL FONDLY REMEMBER "The Miniature Killer" series that premiered in the seventh season and continued until the suspect was finally captured at the very end.

The murderer built meticulous scale models to reflect each crime and left them at his murder scenes or sent them to persons involved with the cases. Victims were either bludgeoned, poisoned, or electrocuted and their blood was used as paint in each dollhouse model.

Until today I had no idea that that specific CSI series was Inspired by Chicago heiress Frances Glessner Lee who created 18 miniature crime scene dioramas that comprise what is known as the "The Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death."

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March 14, 2012

'EVIL' ALL AROUND

15 Years After JonBenet's Murder, John Ramsey Regrets Daughter's Beauty Pageants

F OR 15 YEARS, HE'S BEEN THE INSCRUTABLE FACE OF A RELENTLESS MYSTERY: WHO killed 6-year-old beauty queen JonBenet?

John Ramsey's worn a perpetual expression of stone since he found his daughter's body in the basement of the family’s Boulder, Colo., home the day after Christmas in 1996. It was, in part, his lack of affect that helped turn public sentiment against him after Boulder, Colo. police fingered him and his now-deceased wife Patsy as suspects in the murder.

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March 13, 2012

RUNNING ON EMPTY?

Drunk Diet Pays Off For Lady Gaga's Ex Lüc Carl

"I AM ON THE DRUNK DIET,'' LADY GAGA BRAGGED DURING AN INTERVIEW ON SIRIUS' The Morning Mash Up last year.

"I live my life as I want to, creatively," Gah said at the time. " I like to drink whiskey and stuff while I am working. But the deal is I've got to work out every day, and I work out hung over if I am hung over. "

Was this an actual diet or just nonsense?, I wondered. Now I have my answer: Today, Gaga's ex-beau releases his memoir The Drunk Diet: How I Lost 40 Pounds …Wasted.

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THEIR ONLY NEED WAS EACH OTHER

The Mysterious Miller Twins: They Lived And Died For Each Other

IT SOUNDS LIKE AN EPISODE FROM THE Twilight Zone: Two elderly spinster twin sisters who worked in the entertainment industry as youths have died and left officials scrambling to find their next of kin.

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March 08, 2012

ULTIMATE ACCESSORY

For The Man On The Go Who's Gotta Go: The Briefcase Toilet

WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS PORTABLE EXECUTIVE POTTY, ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS Mad Men 's DEBONAIR DON DRAPER.

Invented by the Japanese based company Niban Too Corporation, “The Gotta Go Briefcase” is perfect tool to maximize the time of busy executives. Knowing how Draper loves to project that he sleeps on a bed of money, can't you see him endorsing this thing?

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March 07, 2012

NEW COLA SLOGAN: LIFE ENDS HERE?

Cola's Caramel-Coloring Chemical Causes Cancer?

ADD THE CARAMEL COLORING IN COLA TO THE LIST OF INGREDIENTS THAT CAUSE CANCER.

That brings the total of known human carcinogens to 16, 423,654,999, amirite?

Actually, I made that figure up. But we know the list of suspected cancerous agents is long and includes barbeque, PCBs, pet birds and plastic.

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March 06, 2012

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

Princess Kate's Naughty Cousin To Shake Her Boom Boom Stateside

KATRINA DARLING, THE FOTLOOSE AND FANCY FREE stripping cousin of British Royal Kate Middleton is bringing her bump and grind act stateside.

Darling, 21 who still counts her pennies with a banking job at Barclays in London, is the closest thing to porn that the Royal Family will ever have in their court.

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March 05, 2012

CHICAGO HERO

TOO SOON?

Groupon Offends With Ghoulish Tour Of Serial Killer's Stomping Grounds

GROUPON GETS GHOULISH AND OFFERS A GHASTLY WALKING TOUR of the neighborhood with cannibalistic serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer committed his crimes.

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March 02, 2012

OUT OF BOUNDS?

CONFIRMING WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW

CRIMES AGAINST FELINE

Meet Toki Nantucket, Furry Fashion Victim

MEET TOKI NANTUCKET, EXCLUSIVE MODEL FOR Etsy's CatAtelier -- and one of fashion's most vulnerable victims.

Here the androgynous Toki models "hats, accessories, and clothing for your fashion-forward feline."

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February 22, 2012

GIVING TRAVELERS A LIFT

Coffee, Tea Or Sex? Flamingo Air Appeals To 'Mile High Club' Wannabes

SINCE TSA GOOSES TRAVELERS WITH THEIR FREE "PAT-DOWN" FOREPLAY, IT's only right that a commercial airline should take things to the next level: Cincinnati's Flamingo Air offers an official "Mile High Club" in the sky.

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February 21, 2012

MY ROLE MODEL

Going Out In Style: New York Doyenne Drops Dead At Fashion Show

WHEN HER BODY FINALLY GAVE UP, 95-YEAR-OLD ZELDA KAPLAN WENT OUT WITH HER HEELS UP AND A FIRE-ENGINE RED HAT STILL GRACING HER HEAD.

She wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

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February 16, 2012

PLASTIC ROYALS

Royals Will & Kate To Be Immortalized As Barbie Dolls

YES, THEIR ROYAL SMILES ARE FAKE, BUT THIS TIME IT'S TO BE EXPECTED: MATTEL DEBUTS Prince William and his wife Catherine dressed in their 2011 wedding finery in plastic doll form.

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February 15, 2012

CANINE COMPANIONSHIP

New TV Network Is Going To The Dogs, Literally

HI! MY NAME IS ROMEO AND WHEN MY PARENTS ARE AT WORK they leave Nickelodeon on all day long for me and my sister Bella, the French bulldog. They have encouraged us many times to read books, but honestly the sound of voices from inside the TV make us feel like there is someone around the house.

This morning we heard that there's going to be a new 24-channel station for us dogs out of San Diego called DOGTV. According to the spokesman, if we watch their channel we will be "confident, happy dogs who are less likely to develop stress, separation anxiety or other related problems."

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GIVE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD

Fuck 'Pink': The Susan G. Komen For The Cure Doesn't Deserve Women's Support

NOW THAT SUSAN G. KOMEN FOR THE CURE has revoked (and then reinstated) its funding for Planned Parenthood's breast cancer prevention programs and screenings, we know exactly where Komen stands: knee-deep in political muck instead instead of on the front lines with women struggling to recuperate from breast cancer.

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IT'S A SIGN

Lunch & The ' Love' Spud: A Valentine Story

CRAVING A SWEET POTATO FOR LUNCH I THREW ONE IN THE OVEN AND FORGOT ABOUT IT FOR AN HOUR. When I finally pulled it out and cut it open, you could hear my screams all the way to Alaska. There, on the flowered plate, laid a steaming-hot potato in the shape of a perfect heart smiling back at me.

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February 14, 2012

DARING TO DREAM

Chipotle's "Back To The Start" Commercial Wins During Grammys

SANDWICHED BETWEEN THE NOISE AND SPECTACLE OF SUNDAY'S 54TH ANNUAL GRAMMYS was a fast food chain commercial that is stealing hearts.

Chipotle's animated "Back To The Start" depicts a farmer dispirited by the modern assembly-line production of meat which includes pumping animals full of steroids and crowding them in dank housing. Disheartened by the process, the farmer reverts back to natural farming where animals graze outdoors and aren't shot up with antibiotics.

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PLAYA WANTS TO PLAY

Google Valentine Doodle Tries To Melt Our Cold, Cold Hearts

BILLION DOLLAR TECH BEHEMOTH GOOGLE tries to warm the cockles of our deeply suspicious hearts with a charming Valentine's Day doodle.

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DARK SHADOWS

Nicolas Cage Responds To Charges He's A Vampire: Bite Me

NICOLAS CAGE TRIED TO LAY TO REST RUMORS THAT HE'S A VAMPIRE who's walked the earth since the the 1860s, but would you believe him? After all, he's been accused of some pretty shady dealings in the past. And he did once own a medieval castle in Bavaria which some speculated he purchased to "embrace the vampire lifestyle."

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February 10, 2012

FLESH FITTING

Chew On This: Sinewy Fashion

I LOVE NEW FASHION, BUT IN A WTF MOMENT I ASK MYSELF just how hungry was James Lillis of Australia when he designed these leggings for Black Milk?

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February 09, 2012

3XS A LADY

Drag Queen Sonique Reminds Me To Give Myself More "Luvin"

IT'S 7:27 A.M. AND I AM WATCHING A YOUTUBE video featuring female impersonator Sonique lip synching to Madonna's latest Give me All Your Luvin at Mickey's in West Hollywood this week.

There she is, in all her perfection, delivering a fun rendition of the song while I am sitting here in yoga pants and a black cardigan that has more stray hairs than are on my head.

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SERVING HER COUNTRY

New Book Details JFK's White House Sexploitations Of Virgin Intern

THE MYTH OF JOHN F. KENNEDY AS CAMELOT takes another hit as a new book details his sexploitations in the White House with a 19-year-old virgin intern.

In Once Upon a Secret: My Affair with President John F. Kennedy and Its Aftermath, 69-year-old Mimi Alford documents her 18-month affair with the then-president that began when he seduced her in the First Lady's bed.

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February 06, 2012

PUPPET PROPAGANDA

Fox Picks Fight With "Left-Wing" Muppets; Muppets Win

IF YOU HAD ANY DOUBT THAT FOX NEWS WOULD PICK A FIGHT WITH ANYONE OR ANYTHING THEY CONSIDER LIBERAL, YOU GOT YOUR ANSWER when Fox Business News blasted the Muppets for being part of the left-wing conspiracy to destroy America.

The evidence: a puppet named "Tex Richman" depicting a greedy oilman in the the latest Muppets movie.

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January 31, 2012

YOU ARE BEING WATCHED

The Writing's On The Wall: Google's Got A PR Problem

USED TO BE THE PO PO WERE THE TARGET OF GRAFFITI ARTISTS. But a new painting on a New York bridge reveals fears about a more sophisticated power: Google.

The above painting was snapped by Jeff Rogers of PaidContent.org on the Pulaski bridge connecting Brooklyn and Queens. Note the O's are surveillance cameras. Adjacent is the message, "Stop SOPA."

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January 30, 2012

COME OUT AND PLAY

Barney's Dog Day Afternoon

MUSIC PRODUCER AND WEB DESIGNER KELSEY WYNN ''GOT AN ITCH" TO TRY OUT A GOPRO CAMERA, so he snared a few off Craigslist then attached them to the harness on a Great Dane named Barney. The result is a pleasing visual romp from a dog's eye perspective. Woof.

Via Gizmodo.

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January 27, 2012

SOMETHING'S SPINNING

Pat Sajak & Vanna White Taped ' Wheel Of Fortune' Smashed

YESTERDAY WE LEARNED ABOUT DICK JOKES on Family Feud. Today it's time to hear about the boozy lunches that led to Pat Sajak and everybody's favorite letter-turner Vanna White hosting Wheel of Fortune while sauced.

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January 26, 2012

AND THE ANSWER IS...

The Best Dick Joke For Pilots Courtesy of Family Feud

HERE'S A PILOT DICK JOKE FOR ALL YOUR AIRLINE FRIENDS, compliments of Family Feud.

Contestants on an episode that aired Monday were aghast at the sixth most popular response to the question: "What might an airplane pilot be holding on a long flight?"

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January 25, 2012

'Headless Body In Topless Bar' Killer Wants Parole

HIS CRIMES ARE NOTORIOUS -- FOR INSPIRING WHAT JOURNALISTS HAIL as one of the best headlines of all time.

Now Charles Dingle, 53, is seeking parole after serving nearly 30 years in prison for a coke-fueled crime spree during which he killed a bar owner, raped a woman and forced another to behead his dead victim.

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January 23, 2012

AS 'YEARS' GO BY

Listening To The Years Go By

THE PERCEPTIVE HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT TREES HAVE THEIR OWN STORIES TO TELL. But now artist Bartholomäus Traubeck has figured out how to listen.

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January 19, 2012

VISION QUEST

Eyes Wide Shut

A STREET PERSON NAPS BEHIND THE BUS STOP AT ADAMS AND WABASH IN CHICAGO SUNDAY. The siesta was captured by photographer and attorney Nima Taradji, who has a gift for seeing what others miss by choice or design.

Taradji, 45, is a founding member of Margin Gallery and The Chicago Photo Union, both cooperative art associations of Chicago's established and/or emerging artists.

To see more of his black-and-white photos shot after the city's first significant snowstorm and during an excursion with ChicagoPhotographer, click inside.

Read the full post here. 

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January 16, 2012

PSA

New Study Revives Old Debate: Are Deodorants Contributing To Breast Cancer?

WE INTERRUPT THE USUAL BLATHER TO DELIVER A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: It might be time to go smelly. A new study raises questions about whether deodorants contribute to breast cancer.

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January 12, 2012

CHEW ON THIS

The Personalities Of Obesity

PUT THE JUDGMENT DOWN WHILE YOU'RE EATING WITH YOUR FAT FRIENDS: The Wall Street Journal has an articleabout personality traits and habits that contribute to obesity.

Journal columnist Melinda Beck highlight several studies that found a host of personality traits that contribute to to why people pack on pounds. Poor maternal relations, deadlines, perfectionism, neuroticism, sleep deprivation -- even selflessness all contribute to individuals collecting body fat and keeping it, according to the artice.

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January 11, 2012

Dilettante James Franco Sells First Novel To Amazon

AMAZON WILL PUBLISH James Franco's first novel, Actors Anonymous, a semi-fictionalized story about his life as an actor. The book will be the third by the inveterate student who received his MFA from Columbia University in 2010 and is enrolled in Yale University's English Ph.D. program.

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January 10, 2012

GEEK DREAM

iCon: Chinese Firm Molds Steve Jobs Into Creepy Action Figure

ATTENTION MAC FREAKS: still missing your leader, the inimitable Mr. Steve Jobs? Well, if you line up now, you can immortalize him with a Steve Jobs action figure replete with black turtleneck, Levi jeans, New Balance sneaks, glasses and three sets of hands.

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January 03, 2012

A META LIST OF LISTS

The Best Of "Best Of" Lists In 2011: Music, Movies, Memes, Cat Names & More

TIME TO RESET THE CALENDAR, LOOK BACK for an accounting and look forward with new plans. Happy New Year, folks. Enjoy banging your pots and pans or watching the ball drop or tearing one on, or however you choose to spend the eve of 2012.

Before turning the page, journalists typically spend the last few days of each year compiling lists of their favorite movies, moments, memes, heroes, headlines of the year. Thanks to them, and to the wonder of the Internet, here are the best ''best of'' lists compiled in one concise list. And don't take 'best' too seriously: these lists typically reflect one person's opinion or, for me, what's most appealing after Google spits up its offerings. Still, these lists are always a great starting point if you're looking for media to consume: let someone else do the culling. Happy reviewing.

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December 31, 2011

EDIBLE CHILDHOOD

Chef Grant Achatz Serves Up 'Childhood' Whimsy At 'Next'

CHEF GRANT ACHATZ HAS TAKEN TO COMPLETELY CHANGING HIS MENU every three months at his restaurant, Next. The first three months took diners to Paris, 1906; the second to the streets of Thailand; and now, simply, into 'childhood.'

Editor's note: Bob Bounce spent the holidays at what "those-in-the-know are calling one of the country's best new restaurants. With just a few weeks left before its current flight of fancy will be gone forever, we take you there, course by course, of course. Don't bother calling; the restaurant is unable to take any more reservations for its current menu.

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December 30, 2011

OUR HERO

Happy Birthday To Us, Mary Tyler Moore

MORE THAN THREE DECADES AFTER SHE ENDED HER EPONYMOUS TELEVISION SHOW, MARY TYLER MOORE still is remembered most fondly as "Mary Richards," news producer of WJM-News in Minneapolis.

Moore celebrated her 75th birthday December 29th, and that was enough reason for fans (including me) to hark back to her critically-acclaimed comedy about a single career woman making a life for herself in the city.

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December 29, 2011

R.I.P.

Cheetah, Tarzan's Chimp Sidekick, Dies At 80

CHEETAH, THE IRONICALLY NAMED CHIMP WHO CO-STARRED WITH Johnny Weissmuller in Tarzan movies, has passed on to that great jungle in the sky.

The 80-year-old chimpanzee suffered kidney failure and died last Saturday at the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Palm Harbor, Fla. He had lived there since 1960 -- 20 years past life expectancy for chimps in captivity. He had been conveniently "discovered" as a newborn by an animal trainer on a trip to Africa in April 1932, according to the Daily Mail.

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December 28, 2011

SEARCHING FOR MEANING

Have Yourself A Charlie Brown Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL WHO STOP BY TODAY. On the jump is a virtual present from Hulu: the video of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

After the hustle and bustle and feigned magic we create leading up to the holiday, it's easy to forget "the meaning of Christmas."

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December 25, 2011

SURPRISING FINDS

Last-Minute Drug Store Gift Ideas To Save Christmas Slackers From Embarrassment

LAST MINUTE GIFTS DON'T HAVE TO EQUATE TO LEAST APPEALING under the tree. The 24-hour drug store holds the answers for slackers, procrastinators and workaholics -- as well as the absent-minded who forgot that Aunt Hazel would be coming to Christmas dinner.

Chains like Walgreens and CVS aren't your daddy's drug stores any more: they snared 14 percent of Black Friday and Cyber Monday spenders -- or 18 million shoppers in total, according to the National Retail Federation.

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December 24, 2011

BRAIN POWER

IBM In Five Years: Mind-Reading, Biometric Passwords, "People Power"

TECHNOLOGY WILL TRANSFORM HOW WE COMMUNICATE, FUEL OUR HOMES and access our bank and computer accounts within the next 5 years, according to IBM's annual "watch list" for tech transformations.

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December 21, 2011

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS

Still Pretending To Work? Chillax & Surrender To The Holiday

WHY WE DON'T HALT THE CHARADE AND SHUT DOWN OFFICES THESE last few days before Christmas. Are you any of you actually working out there? Or are you trying to look busy as you coyly surf the net searching for last-minute gift ideas and taking advantage of free shipping?

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December 20, 2011

REFLECTED GLITTER

Though Shalt Covet Thy Dead Celebrity's Jewels: Elizabeth Taylor Auction Breaks Records

WHAT BECOMES A LEGEND MOST? A dead Hollywood superstar whose jewels rival those of royals.

Even in death, Elizabeth Taylor dazzles: an auction last night in Manhattan of 80 of her most spectacular pieces of jewelry brought in a record-breaking $116 million -- more than double the amount reached previously for a single collection. "It's one of the most extraordinary auctions that Christie's has ever had and a testament to the affection for Elizabeth Taylor worldwide," Christie's Chairman Marc Porter told the New York Post.

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December 14, 2011

ULTIMATE BLING

See The Pictures: Elizabeth Taylor's Legendary Jewels At Auction

THE HOITY TOITY AND HIGH ALMIGHTLY WILL DESCEND ON CHRISTIE'S IN MANHATTAN TONIGHT AS 80 OF THE FINEST PIECES IN ELIZABETH TAYLOR'S JEWELRY COLLECTION will be auctioned off.

Dubbed "The Legendary Jewels," the collection encompasses the best of the best of some 1,200 pieces of jewelry the Hollywood star amassed over her lifetime. It includes a 33.19 carat rectangular-cut diamond gifted to her Richard Burton that is expected to sell for as much as $3.5 million; a 19th century diamond Tiara gifted to her by her third husband, Mike Todd; and an enamel and gold flag necklace by Bulgari that is expected to sell for as little as $8,000.

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December 13, 2011

HE'S SPECIAL

Here's A Feel-Good Story That Will Give You 'Paws'

NOW HERE'S A STORY THAT WILL, AHEM, MAKE YOU "PAWS."

Daniel, a polydactyl cat -- that's one with a congenital anomaly causing it to have extra toes -- has become the inspiration for the Milwaukee Animal Rescue Center which is raising money for a new building to house its furry charges.

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December 09, 2011

BEDAZZLING

The Ultimate In Glitter Rock (As Well As Pop & Jazz & Schmaltz)

MICHEL ROSENTHAL IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S FOREMOST EXPERTS ON GLITTER ROCK. AND she knows firsthand that all that glitters is not gold: there's also blue glitter and purple glitter and pinks and reds.

Rosenthal, 48, is a psychotherapist/life coach who accesses her creative side by embellishing vintage album covers with the bling we know as glitter. The results are literally and figuratively dazzling fun -- at least to someone (me) who's personal slogan is "everything goes better with glitter." The covers offer shiny trips down "memory lane" where fans enjoy reminiscing about the records they've loved and played.

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December 05, 2011

WOW ON THE CHEAP

Delivering Christmas Style On A Dime

WE COULD CALL IT CHRISTMAS DECORATING AT HANUKKAH PRICES, but that'd just create more hard feelings over the great divide between two world religions. Let's just say we're sharing ideas for decking Christmas halls on a dime.

Great style doesn't have to be determined by budget as the following projects prove. From tchotke and paper plate Christmas trees that hang on walls, to ornaments made from old books and sheet music, to Martha Stewart's always classic Christmas crafts, the projects here belie the belief that high style can only be had with hordes of cash.

Also check out: Ring In The Holiday With Festive Christmas Wreaths

Have Yourself A Very Merry Kitschmas

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December 02, 2011

ABLE TO LEAP TALL DEMAND

Man Of Steel Proves Super Strength In Record-Breaking Comic Auction

SUPERMAN CONTINUES TO HAVE SUPER-HUMAN STRENGTH on the auction block. A rare first copy of the first issue of 1938 Action Comics introducing Superman sold Wednesday for a record-breaking $2.16 million for a comic, the Associated Press reports.

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November 30, 2011

AFFLICTING THE POWERFUL

The Difference Between Media Elites And True Journalists

HERE'S OCCUPY WALL STREET'S GREATEST SUPPORTER GLENN GREENWALD dropping a dime on America's top journalists for being elitists. He takes particular aim at the New York Times former executive editor Bill Keller, the son of a former Chevron CEO, and CNN talker Erin Burnett, fiance to a Citigroup executive, for being "scornful of Wall Street protesters."

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FREESTYLE SHOWDOWN!

How Jay-Z Can Redeem Street Cred After Grab At "Occupy" Profits

WHAT DO SCROOGE McDUCK, RICHIE RICH, MR. BURNS AND RAP MOGUL JAY-Z HAVE IN COMMON? An aversion to sharing -- if the the totem pole sculpture created by media whore and American sculptor extraordinaire Daniel Edwards is any indication.

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November 23, 2011

GHOST IN THE MEDIA MACHINE

Her Father's Daughter: Frances Bean Cobain

IF COURTNEY LOVE FLIPS THE BIRD AND STORMS OFFSTAGE WHEN A concertgoer waves a photo of her dead husband at her, what must she do when she looks into her estranged daughter's face?

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SOB STORY

In Defense Of The Man Who Cried Too Much

LEAVE JOHN ALONE!

I am not a fan of Speaker of the House John Boehner. In fact, if I were ever to meet him he would probably not like me either. But…I just can't take it anymore and I must defend him.

Read the full post here. 

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November 18, 2011

LUCKY

Death-Defying Dog Wins New Home & A Cause

HIS NAME IS DANIEL, BUT anyone in the right mind would call him lucky. That's because this adorable beagle mix literally cheated death after surviving a gas chamber in an Alabama dog pound.

Read the full post here. 

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November 16, 2011

DUDS

Life Celebrates Its Rare Moments Of Mediocrity

WHEN YOU'VE PROVEN YOURSELF A CULTURAL ICON, there's no danger in making fun of your flaws.

Read the full post here. 

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LUCKY 11s

Expectation's In The Air On 11-11-11

EXPECTATION IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY, Nov. 11, 2011, with the trine of 11s loaded with symbolism for mystics and numerologists, the spiritual and superstitious.

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November 11, 2011

DOING GOOD

Room To Read's Founder Exports Hope For The Future

I KNOW, I KNOW: I should be writing today about Mariah's weight loss (was it 30 lbs or 70 lbs.?), or Brett Ratner's fishy tales about Olivia Munn or Rachel's "first time" with Finn. But none of those topics satisfy as much as the story about John Wood's 12,000 libraries.

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November 09, 2011

MISSING PIECES

Mona Simpson's Eulogy: The Steve Jobs We Didn't Know

YOU DON'T MALIGN THE DEAD AT THEIR FUNERAL. So it's tempting to discount Mona Simpson's touching eulogy of her brother Steve Jobs as romance.

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October 31, 2011

A BLOODY GOOD TIME

Halloween Is Killer

CREEPTASTIC FUN'S IN STORE FOR THE Halloween weekend both literally and figuratively.

Procrastinating partiers descended on Party City on Western Avenue in Chicago to execute their Halloween costume fantasies. Here are some gruesome options for the more macabre among us.

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October 29, 2011

BOO

This Is Halloween: A $6.9 Billion Industry

AND SO WE ARRIVE AT THE ONE WEEKEND OF THE YEAR when murderers and witches, freaks and creeps, are welcome to roam indiscriminately. Thank god there's a surge in patrolling superheroes too.

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October 28, 2011

SOCIAL SCIENCE

New Studies On The Ignoble Traits Of Narcissists & Psychopaths

IN THE NEWS, TWO STUDIES ABOUT THE IGNOBLE TRAITS OF PSYCHOPATHS AND NARCISSISTS.

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October 27, 2011

IN PURSUIT OF THE AMERICAN DREAM

In Search Of Friendship & Fortune, 'Ego Leonard' Crashes Ashore In Florida

HE ARRIVES BY SEA SANS BOAT OR FLOAT. He's awash in primary colors of red and yellow and green. And he bears a strange message on his chest: 'NO REAL THAN YOU ARE.'

He's the seafaring giant Lego Man who's traveled two continents, most recently arriving on the sands of the U.S. by way of Siesta Key Village, Fla.

Read the full post here. 

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October 26, 2011

THE HUMAN CONDITION

A Particularly Black Week Of News

EVEN FOR CHRONIC CONSUMERS OF NEWS, this week's headlines were particularly gruesome.

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October 22, 2011

CHEW ON THIS

Justice Scalia Upholds Ruling: Chicago-Style Pizza Is "Tomato Pie"

U.S. JUSTICE ANTONIN SCALIA is constitutionally opposed to calling deep-dished Chicago-style pizza anything but "tomato pie."

Read the full post here. 

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October 20, 2011

OBVIOUS

Late-Breaking Research: Public Bathrooms Are Germy

JUST IN CASE YOU WERE PLANNING ON PICNICKING INSIDE ONE, A NEW STUDY confirms what you already knew: public bathrooms are crawling with germs.

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FOLLY

For $75K, The Rich Can Bag This Pink Yurt In The Blink Of An Eye

PROVING THERE IS SUCH A THING AS HAVING TOO MUCH MONEY, THIS YEAR'S Neiman Marcus Christmas Book offers up a $75,000 pink yurt -- which is just a fancy way of saying tent -- bedecked in lush I Dream Of Jeannie style.

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October 19, 2011

'KNOCKING ON HEAVEN'S DOOR'

Steve Jobs Is Not God, But Heaven Uses The iPad

THE NEW YORKER'S OCT. 17 COVER DEPICTS STEVE JOBS being checked into heaven by an iPad-wielding angel, provoking one wit at Boing Boing to ask, "Wasn't it Moses who had the tablets?"

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October 09, 2011

Breakfast At Tiffany's & The Prize At The Bottom Of This Crackerjack

WE'VE BEEN REMISS IN NOT NOTING THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF Breakfast At Tiffany's, whose legacy by no coincidence has left its mark here at 'Crabby Golightly.'

The 1961 movie based on Truman Capote's novella was celebrated this week for its lingering touch on pop culture. As played by the elegant Audrey Hepburn, Holly Golightly personified pizazz in her little black dress, her fake pearls, her gobs of mascara.

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October 07, 2011

A 'ROCK' PARTY

Canadian Rockers May Get Sip Of High Life By Selling "Tea Party" Domain

A CANADIAN "MOROCCAN" ROCK BAND may be the biggest winner of the Tea Party movement.

That's because the rockers own the domain for the band's name -- TeaParty.com -- one of the buzziest terms in America's political lexicon today.

Read the full post here. 

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September 19, 2011

SURPRIZE COMMITTEE

Whoohoo! Larry Page Wants To Give Me A Prize

I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS -- AND FRANKLY IT COMES AS A SURPRISE TO ME -- but Larry Page is a fan of mine.

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September 15, 2011

CHEW ON THIS

Fat Guy To White Castle: Supersize My Table!

A NEW YORK MAN IS SUING WHITE CASTLE CLAIMING THAT THE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT DISCRIMINATES AGAINST HEFTIES.

Kessman says he loves him some sliders, but his craving comes at a price: he claims the table and chairs inside White Castle are too small for his 290 pound frame.

Read the full post here. 

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September 12, 2011

DOESN'T COMPUTE

Yet Another "Ironic" T-Shirt Banishes Girls To Stupid

CAN YOU IMAGINE LARRY PAGE WEARING Forever 21's "Allergic To Alegebra" T-SHIRT?

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SHOOT 'EM!

What's A Few Ruffled Feathers Between Friends? Rovio Negotiating Deal With Chinese That Created Angry Birds Theme Park

IF IMITATION IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF FLATTERY, MAKERS OF the ANGRY BIRDS are touched -- as in feeling their pockets lighter -- by the actions of a Chinese theme park.

Read the full post here. 

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September 08, 2011

NOW HEAR THIS

Saddest Looking Hound Has World's Longest Dog Ears

LET'S SING PRAISE TWICE IN THIS STORY: First to Harbor, an 8-year-old coonhound that has the world's longest dog ears. Then secondly to Guinness World Records for keeping track of such oddities.

Poor Harbor. Look at him up there, his sad eyes recognizing that he's a freak show.

Read the full post here. 

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THE TAX ON UGLY

Being Ugly Will Cost You

WITH APOLOGIES TO LEO TOLSTOY, ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ARE ALIKE, BUT THE ugly are hideous in their own way.

Seriously, how many of us have actually encountered a truly ugly person? Looking back, I can't think of too many that stand out, except there was this one woman with a ginormous, bulbous, lumpy nose I worked with in Atlanta.

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September 01, 2011

SOP

Marinating In Fun

A reveler soaks up the fun at the 66th annual "Tomatina" tomato fight in Bunol, Spain, Wednesday.

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August 31, 2011

FIERCE

Tiger 'Mom' Socks Bear To Save Dog

TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD BROOKE COLLINS IS ONE FIERCE MOMMA, even if she's only mom to a dachshund, Fudge.

Collins of Anchorage, Alaska, punched a black bear in the face Sunday night when she found it with its jaw clamped down on the neck of her pooch.

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EXPOSED

U.S. 'Mengele' Secretly Exposed Guatemalans To STDs

HERE'S YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE TYPE OF GOVERNMENTAL ABUSE THAT HAPPENS ALL TOO OFTEN IN OUR WORLD.

A presidential panel revealed on Monday that U.S. government agencies performed medical experiments in Guatemala in the 1940s in which test subjects were unwittingly infected with sexually transmitted diseases. And the physician who led the experiment -- Dr. John C. Cutler -- was also involved in the reviled Tuskegee, Ala. experiments in which black men were secretly infected with syphilis and left untreated as they suffered and died. The revelation has led BlackAgendaReport to condemn Cutler as America's "Joseph Mengele,'' the notorious Nazi "doctor of death" who performed experiments on Jewish prisoners of war.

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August 30, 2011

WEAPONS OF MASS DELUSION

World Moves Closer To Peace As Chicagoan Grabs Silver In 16th Annual World Air Guitar Competition

CHICAGO-BASED AIR GUITARIST Justin "Nordic Thunder" Howard did his part to spread world peace at the 16th annual Air Guitar World Championships held in Oulu, Finland on Friday, winning second place in the competition.

"My heart is filled with so many emotions,'' sniffed Howard on his Twitter account. "This has been the best time of my life, & i've made some new amazing friends.Tonight we ALL rock!"

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August 27, 2011

GO LIGHTLY, MY FRIENDS

'Charismatic' Crustacean Saved By Humanitarian Bookkeeper

WE DECLARE THIS OH HAPPY FRIDAY BECAUSE OF THIS STORY ABOUT A lobster deemed too big and old to eat.

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August 19, 2011

TASTY

California Couple's Engagement Album Slays the Living & Undead

THE IMPENDING NUPTIALS OF Juliana S. Park to Benjamin J. Lee will no doubt be the hottest ticket of Pasadena, Calif.'s fall social calendar for both the living and undead. That's because these two crazy kids are slaying them on the web with their mock engagement photo album depicting a surprise Zombie attack.

Read the full post here. 

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August 18, 2011

THE STUFF OF LEGEND

The Girl Who Bid The Nazis Adieu: Allied Spy Nancy Wake Dies

FEW OF US LEAD LIVES AS INSPIRED AS NANCY WAKE, WHO DIED AT THE AGE OF 98 after having worked as an anti-Nazi spy during World War II.

Read the full post here. 

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August 14, 2011

IT'S EVOLUTIONARY, WATSON

Researchers Say Symmetrically Beautiful Are More Selfish

HERE'S ANOTHER REASON TO HATE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE:

Read the full post here. 

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August 13, 2011

THE RISE

There Oughta Be A Law: Cow That Escapes Slaughterhouse Should Get Permanent Reprieve

I JUST MADE UP THIS NEW FEATURE IN WHICH we suggest laws through which our emotionally and spiritually bereft lawmakers can redeem themselves in sad eyes. And our first suggestion: anytime a cow consciously and wilfully escapes a slaughterhouse said cow should be immediately and forever granted reprieve from the death chamber.

Read the full post here. 

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August 12, 2011

THE SEARCH FOR MEANING

Bert & Ernie & The Stories We Tell Ourselves

HALF THE FUN OF WATCHING TV IS SEARCHING FOR THE UNSPOKEN METAPHOR OR MEANING.

For instance, who among us hasn't heard the theory that Scooby and Shaggy are potheads who keep their toking on the lowdown but can't disguise the inevitable hungering results?

Read the full post here. 

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August 10, 2011

SPECIALITY

And The Award For The Best Pizza Box Goes To...

SCOTT FROM SCOTT'S PIZZA TOURS GETS REALLY EXCITED ABOUT PIZZA BOXES.

So much, in fact, that he has friends send him boxes from pizzerias around the world. Consequently, Scott's become a de facto expert in the arcane subject of pizza box design.

Read the full post here. 

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July 30, 2011

LOSING GROUND

U.S. Biologist Suspended For Authoring Report On Drowned Polar Bears

IN CASE you're confused about the real purpose of the U.S.'s Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement, here's a story to distill the answer: A wildlife biologist who co-wrote a report on dead polar bears that became ammunition for climate activists has been suspended while his "integrity" is investigated.

Read the full post here. 

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July 29, 2011

TROPHY HUNTING

Ghouls Vie For Casey Anthony Mask In eBay Auction

BIDDERS HAVE PUSHED THE PRICE OF A FREAKY LATEX CASEY ANTHONY MASK UP TO $25,000 on eBay with almost 10 hours left to go before the sale closes.

Read the full post here. 

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July 27, 2011

THE STUFF OF LEGEND

Dude, Wanna Buy The Big Lebowski Bungalow?

NEW SHIT HAS COME TO LIGHT: The bungalow used to shoot the cult hit The Big Lebowski has hit the market.

Read the full post here. 

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DIABOLICAL THINKING

Could News Of Lab-Grown Animal-Human Embryos Be PR Stunt For Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes?

A DAY AFTER Britain's Academy of Medical Sciences called for tighter regulation of "transgenetic" animal-human experiments, a British politician claims that scientists have already created 155 animal-human embryos in labs.

The embryos were grown at King's College London, Newcastle University and Warwick University in experiments that have been halted due to lack of funding, according to the U.K's Daily Mail.

"It is dabbling in the grotesque," Baron David Alton of Liverpool said in Parliament Friday night.

Read the full post here. 

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July 23, 2011

TOP OF THE WORLD

You Can't Top This: Planking At Machu Picchu

I'VE NEVER BEEN AHEAD OF THE CURVE ON ANY FAD.

From Pet Rocks to Bum Fights, I was always the last to know. Perhaps planking's my redemption. My chance to ride the wave as opposed to watching it crash ashore from a bobbing and semi-submerged long board.

I first heard of planking while watching an interview with New Zealand footballer David Williams late one night. He was asked exactly what was planking and he quickly obliged by laying across the anchor's desk in a prone position. The next day I asked some younger staff at the office if they had heard about planking. All responded with the same look of, ''What the hell are you talking about?''

Read the full post here. 

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July 22, 2011

CREEPY CRAWLIES

Mosquitoes Are Your Mortal Enemy, Says Author Amy Stewart

A HEAT WAVE SEEMS AS GOOD AS ANY TO TALK ABOUT THE DISGUSTING BUGS THAT MAKE OUR SUMMERS' ITCH. And Amy Stewart's new book, Wicked Bugs: The Louse That Conquered Napoleon's Army and Other Diabolical Insects, provides an even better reason.

The author talks of the "pure evil" of insects on The Current -- in particular the mosquito -- "the most wicked bug of all."

Read the full post here. 

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STARGAZING

What Makes Rupert Murdoch & Wendi Deng Click? An Astrological Perspective

HE'S THE CRAGGY-FACED NEWSMAKING REPTILIAN WHO BUYS AND BULLIES HIS WAY TO WINNING AT CAPITALISM. She's the steely Chinese-born Tiger Wife raised as a Communist who's clawed her way to wealth and power.

Who else could we be talking about other than K. Rupert Murdoch, titan of the News Corp. and his third wife, the ferocious 42-year-old Wendi Deng, who's married up three times.

Read the full post here. 

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July 21, 2011

BUT OF COURSE

Study Of Cheaters Concludes Cheaters Cheat

WHEN TWO SOCIAL SCIENTISTS WANTED TO STUDY sexual behavior on the Internet, they hooked up with visitors to the online adultery service AshleyMadison.com.

Read the full post here. 

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July 20, 2011

BUT OF COURSE

Study Of Cheaters Concludes Cheaters Cheat

WHEN TWO SOCIAL SCIENTISTS WANTED TO STUDY sexual behavior on the Internet, they hooked up with visitors to the online adultery service AshleyMadison.com.

Read the full post here. 

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A POINTED MESSAGE

The Ban Against Gays Donating Blood Is Costing Lives -- And Pain

MY WORK HUSBAND DREW IS GAY. And no, I'm not a faghag, I prefer to call myself a "gaymay."

Anyway, we're having a blood drive on our job and I signed right up. I immediately CQD Drew to see if he would give as well. "They don't want my blood," he said.

Read the full post here. 

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URBAN MYTH

Philly Mayor Takes To Twitter To Set Record Straight On 'Anti-Texting' Campaign

WORD ON THE WEB IS THAT TEXTING WHILE WALKING IS NOW ILLEGAL IN PHILADELPHIA. NOT TRUE!

Read the full post here. 

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July 19, 2011

SLURP!

Oh Thank Heaven: 7-Eleven Hands Out Free Slurpees For Its 84th Birthday

THERE'S NO BETTER DAY TO SEEK OUT YOUR SUGARY FIX FOR THE SLURPEE! Today, in honor of it's 84th birthday, the convenience chain 7-Eleven is giving out free Slurpees to celebrate.

Read the full post here. 

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July 11, 2011

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'

Aging Is Overrated, Says Death-Defying Doctor

THIS SHIT CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH: A British Scientist is predicting aging will be cured through the use of "preventative geriatrics" such as gene and stem cell therapies.

"I'd say we have a 50/50 chance of bringing aging under what I'd call a decisive level of medical control within the next 25 years or so," de Grey, chief scientific officer of the California-based ISENS (Strategies for Engineered Negligible Senescence) Foundation, told Reuters in an interview. "And what I mean by decisive is the same sort of medical control that we have over most infectious diseases today."

Read the full post here. 

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July 05, 2011

TASTY

Photo Credit: NimaTaradjiPhotography.com

Savoring The Street Life Of The Taste Of Chicago

AND THAT'S A WRAP.

Or more likely a beef sandwich. But it could have been a hot dog with all the fixins. Or corn cob on a stick. Or deepdish pizza. Whatever the woman above's eating, it was sure to be tasty.

THE CITY THAT WORKS WAS THE BACKDROP FOR THE 31st annual TASTE OF CHICAGO, touted as the "nation's premier outdoor food festival showcasing the diversity of Chicago's dining community."

Read the full post here. 

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July 04, 2011

A STAR IS BORN

How Karen Made A Movie, Got Nominated And Flashed A Movie Star

KAATYYY PEERRRRYY!!!!"

That's some guy Alex calling to me during last weekend's CampusMovieFest in Hollywood.

I was there -- not posing as Katy -- but as a contestant in the fest's International Grand Finale for Deeper, Harder Love, a short film I wrote, codirected and starred in about the first porno to win an Oscar.

Read the full post here. 

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July 02, 2011

IT'S REAL AND IT'S SPECTACULAR

Filthy Rich Bank Customer Rubs It In Poors' Faces

SOME FILTHY RICH WANKER -- YES THAT'S CLASS ENVY TALKING -- stopped by a Capital One ATM on June 18 for a little pocket money.

Update: Dealbreaker has outed the account owner: David Tepper, founder of the Appaloosa Hedge Fund, who keeps brass balls on his desk and rubs them during the day for luck. So I wasn't off when I called him a wanker.

Read the full post here. 

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June 29, 2011

BOUNTIFUL

Crime Pays For Owners Of Last Surviving Picture Of Billy The Kid

MORE THAN A 100 YEARS AFTER HE COMMITTED THEM, THE LEGENDARY CRIMES OF BILLY THE KID ARE PAYING OFF: A billionaire collector of Wild West memorabilia dropped $2.3 million Saturday to own the last-surviving photograph of the American frontier outlaw.

William Koch, a 71-year-old industrialist and founder of Oxbow Carbon, drove the price up for the coveted photo at a Denver auction Saturday.

Read the full post here. 

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June 26, 2011

WILLFUL

Huguette Clark: A Lonely Life Lived In Luxury

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF COPPER HEIRESS HUGUETTE CLARK IS A DOOZY, leaving $34 million to her long-time nurse, $14 million to a god-daughter, and designating the bulk of her $400 fortune to establish an arts foundation at her 24-acre Santa Barbara, Calif. estate.

Read the full post here. 

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June 24, 2011

EYE SPY

Stolen Memories: Missing Warhol Painting Of Farrah Fawcett Turns Up On TV?

A MISSING $30 MILLION PORTRAIT OF FARRAH FAWCETT PAINTED BY ANDY WARHOL has been eye spied in the bedroom of her longtime lover, Ryan O'Neal.

Read the full post here. 

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June 23, 2011

SOLD

Bam! Al Capone's Revolver Goes Under The Gavel

IF NOTORIOUS GANGSTER AL CAPONE WERE ALIVE, NO DOUBT HE'D BE SHAKING HIS FIST AND ASKING THREATENINGLY, "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?"

The answer is yes.

Read the full post here. 

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June 22, 2011

FEATHERBRAINED

Fowl Play At The Royal Ascot

A duck fascinator sits atop the head of a visitor to Ladies Day at the Royal Ascot, Britain's premier horseracing event. Those crazy hats are one reason to be glad America declared its independence from England.

Adorning birds was a popular theme among ladies this year, the 300th year of the races. Queen Elizabeth II, along with Princesses Anne and Beatrice, showed up for the festivities sans fowl-themed hats. But check out a few featherbrained fascinators below.

Read the full post here. 

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June 16, 2011

OTHERWORLDLY

The Sky's The Limit In This Photo Contest

THE AURORA BOREALIS CASTS A SPECTRAL SHOW above Jökulsárlón, the largest glacial lake in southeastern Iceland.

Read the full post here. 

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June 08, 2011

DARK REALITY

Why I Won't See Dark Girls: I Live It

I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE FACT THAT IN 2011 WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT "DARK'' VERSUS ''LIGHT" IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY.

Now Bill Duke tackles our painful color divide.

Read the full post here. 

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BLACK & BLUE

Some See Red After French Sociologist Calls Smurfs Blue 'Nazis'

A FRENCH SOCIOLOGIST HAS PENNED A BOOK THAT "RUTHLESSLY DECONSTRUCTS" THE SMURFS AS RACISTS TOTALITARIANS.

Read the full post here. 

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June 05, 2011

GODDESS IN TRAIINING

Happy Birthday, Norma Jeane

DEAD NOW MORE YEARS THAT SHE WAS ALIVE, MARILYN MONROE CONTINUES TO FASCINATE.

The screen siren would be celebrating her 85th birthday today if she were alive. Instead, she died on Aug. 2, 1962 of a drug overdose that some speculate was suicide; others, think was murder.

Monroe's tragic life -- born to a crazy mother, bounced around between foster homes and relatives -- both propelled and imprisoned her.

Read the full post here. 

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June 01, 2011

STILL HERE

Still Waiting On Salvation

I'M BAAACK! Sorry for my absence but there seemed little point in yapping about the news when it was all supposed to go to hell within hours.

Read the full post here. 

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May 22, 2011

FORTUNE TELLING

How Long Will You Live? Measure Your Telomeres Minus Your Fate

YOU KNOW THIS: YOU'RE DYING.

Not because you've got cancer, or because you've been stricken by a terrible disease. No, it's more insidious than that: even the healthiest among us are moving inexorably toward death. The only mystery is when you'll exit.

Now a Spanish doctor has invented a $700 test that purports to accurately predict how much time you have left on earth.

Read the full post here. 

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May 16, 2011

BORN THIS WAY

Thank God It's Friday The 13th!

A DAY THAT OTHERS FEAR -- I EMBRACE.

In fact, 13's my lucky number. Because I don't have a choice: I was born on Friday the 13th.

Read the full post here. 

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May 13, 2011

THE LONG VIEW

The View From Above

SOMETIMES THE FARTHER YOU GO THE CLEARER THE VIEW BECOMES.

That's how it is for me watching Dominic Boudrealt's timelapsed motion photography shot over a year in five North American cities.

Read the full post here. 

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May 07, 2011

A QUESTION OF 'RAW' POWER

Feds Sue To Shut Down Amish Farmer For Selling Raw Milk

FEDERAL OFFICIALS HAVE SUED TO SHUT DOWN AN AMISH FARMER WHO SOLD RAW MILK ACROSS STATE LINES, but customers accuse the Food and Drug Administration of colluding with corporate dairy farms.

Read the full post here. 

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May 03, 2011

CANDY IN DISGUISE

David Beckham Stars As Yummy Bunny?

EYE CANDY DAVID BECKHAM eschews hopping for a skateboard as he prepares to lead an Easter egg hunt for his three boys.

Mrs. Bunny, a.k.a, the pregnant Victoria Beckham, tweeted the picture over the weekend teasing, ''Guess Who?''

Read the full post here. 

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April 27, 2011

RAISING EYEBROWS AND...

Two Thumbs Up! Roger Ebert Wins New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

CHICAGO'S VERY OWN MOVIE CRITIC ROGER EBERT HAS MADE A CAREER out of writing short and snappy.

It's an art form, one he has indulged in for 40 years as journalist and movie reviewer. But apparently Ebert has lusted after brighter literary lights -- to see his name in the New Yorker.

Read the full post here. 

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April 26, 2011

UP, UP AND AWAY

Stunt Show's Safety Record Blown To Hell When Human Cannonball Dies

A 23-YEAR-OLD HUMAN CANNONBALL WAS PROPELLED TO HIS DEATH IN ENGLAND MONDAY WHEN A SAFETY NET FAILED TO ENGAGE. Hundreds of fans were watching as the man fell and was knocked unconscious and began oozing from his mouth.

The unidentified stuntman was an employee of the Scott May's Daredevil Stunt Show which was performing at a campground in Kent.

"On the face of it, it appears that the nets that the human cannonball was landing at actually gave way,'' an official told BBC.

Read the full post here. 

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April 25, 2011

ENTERPRISING

Not Born This Way

AOL CONTRIBUTOR DAVID MOYE GETS THE WIN FOR THE MOST ENTERPRISING TREND STORY: HORNY HUMAN BEINGS.

Inspired by Lady Gaga's alien facial protuberances, Moye points out that the pop star isn't the first or the most outrageous example of "body modification."

Read the full post here. 

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April 20, 2011

SWEET HAUL

William & Kate Pez Sell For Royal Sum

THEY'RE THE PERFECT WEDDING GIFT FOR THE COUPLE WHO HAS EVERYTHING: Prince William and his future wife Catherine immortalized as Pez candy dispensers.

Read the full post here. 

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April 19, 2011

RELENTLESS

A Real Life 'Cow' Girl Finds A Way To Clear Hurdles

WE'VE ALL HEARD the annoying aphorism about how when life delivers lemons we should just crush the pulp out of them, add water, sugar, stir then -- viola! -- enjoy a tart cold glass of lemonade.

Fifteen-year-old Regina Meyer of Germany did that, only she transformed her cow into a horse.

Read the full post here. 

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April 06, 2011

TIN FOIL HAT TALK

U.S. Targeting Talking Heads In Tongue-Twisting Microwave Experiment?

IS THE U.S. MILITARY TARGETING TV ANNOUNCERS in secret microwave mind-control experiments?

That's the latest theory alleged by Internet "conspiracy theorists" after Judge Judy halted taping of her show and was rushed to the hospital March 30.

News reports claimed previously that Sheindlin had suffered "intestinal discomfort." But U.K's Daily Mail is among media claiming she was hospitalized after sputtering gibberish during taping of her courtroom TV show.

Read the full post here. 

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April 02, 2011

A NEW REALITY

The New Paradigm: Radiation Is Good For You

THE DISASTER AT THE FUKUSHIMA DAIICHI NUCLEAR PLANT HAS POISONED MY APPETITE FOR POINTLESS BLATHER ABOUT CELEBRITIES. Who can care about Mariah's contractions or BritBrit's "hella hot" performance in San Francisco when you have to fret about radiation in U.S. rainwater?

Read the full post here. 

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March 28, 2011

COMPUTE THIS

Mr. Spock's Pointy Vulcan Ear Expected To Fetch $1400

LOGIC GOES OUT THE WINDOW WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH BONAFIDE TREKKIES, SO IT'S NO SURPRISE THAT A POINTY EAR worn by Leonard Nimoy in the first Star Trek film is expected to fetch as much as $1,400 when it goes up for auction April 2.

Read the full post here. 

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March 27, 2011

FOR SOME, JUST A NUMBERS GAME

What Chernobyl Wrought: Photos By Paul Fusco

AMID WORLD PANIC OVER JAPAN'S WORSENING NUCLEAR RADIATION CRISIS NOW COMES ASSURANCE THAT "fear of Japan's nuclear crisis far exceeds actual risks,"' according to the Christian Science Monitor.

Here's quoting directly from an article published by the newspaper today: "After more than 20 years of extensive study, there is no consistent evidence of increased birth defects, leukemia, or most other radiation-related diseases," journalist Peter Hessler wrote in a 2010 article for The New Yorker. He said the only public epidemic consists of high rates of cancer in children, who tend to be more sensitive to radiation."

The article goes on to say that "even those incidences of cancer could have been prevented, scientists say, if the Soviet government had warned locals against feeding contaminated milk to their children."

Well, that's reassuring. All we have to worry about is the curse of cancer on the next generation to be born.

Read the full post here. 

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March 17, 2011

FOR ART'S SAKE

Hey MSNBC, You Missed The Best Vending Machine Ever: The Art+O+Mat

MSNBC'SLEAD FEATURE TODAY IS A PHOTOGRAPHIC TOUR OF VENDING MACHINES THAT DISPENSE EVERTHING FROM live crabs to veggies to gold bars and rice. Sorry to break it to you guys but you missed the best one!

Check out Art+O+Mat, where miniature pieces of original art are dispensed in rehabbed cigarette vending machines.

Read the full post here. 

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March 10, 2011

FURRY CHILDREN

Confirmed: Women Love Cats And Vice Versa

THE 83RD ACADEMY AWARDS? All just a bit ho hum. John Galliano's "I love Hitler" slur? Not how I want to start off Monday morning.

Rather, give me cats! --the fuzzy, friendly, manipulative furry children of women.

A study from the University of Vienna and the Konrad Lorenz Research Station has confirmed numerically what we already knew anecdotally: women love cats, and cats love women.

"Female owners have more intense relationships with their cats than do male owners," University of Vienna's Manuela Wedl tells Discovery News.

Read the full post here. 

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February 28, 2011

DRIVING THE FUTURE

Look, World, No Hands! German Lab Harnesses Brain Waves To Power Car

HERE'S A GADGET THAT FEW OF US HAVE EVER HEARD OF BEFORE: An electroencephalography tool. The medical profession uses them to measure brain wave activity in patients with a whole host of disorders: "epilepsy, a brain tumor, a brain abscess, brain trauma, subdural hematoma, meningitis, encephalitis, stroke" and more. But now researchers in Germany are using an electroencephalography tool designed by Emotiv of San Franscisco to enable people to drive cars with mindpowered "brain sensors."

Read the full post here. 

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February 20, 2011

DESIGN

Off His Rocker: Designer Thomas Heatherwick's Spun Chair

DESIGNER THOMAS HEATHERWICK'S MAGIS SPUN CHAIR is among the inventions that went on exhibit yesterday in the Brit Insurance Design Of The Year competition.

The contest, now in its fourth year, is the London Design Museum's "annual exploration of the most innovative, interesting and forward-looking new work in design."

Read the full post here. 

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February 18, 2011

WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW

Four Legs With Design On A Prize

PHOTOGRAPHER SPENCER PLATT SNAPPED Standard poodle "Gem" standing with his owner at a news conference at the 135th Westminster Kennel Dog Club Show in New York last weekend.

About 2,500 purebred dogs are competing for the title of "best in show" at the world's most prestigious dog competition which culminates tonight at Madison Square Garden.

The competition, first held in 1877, predates the invention of the light bulb and the automobile.

Tonight's final night of competition will broadcast from 8 to 11 p.m. (Eastern) on USA.

For more fantastic shots of dogs and their owners visit here.

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February 15, 2011

GETTING MUSHY

This British Royals' Wedding Portrait Screams 'Eat Me!"

THIS PARTY PLATTER REPRODUCTION OF PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON'S ENGAGEMENT SNAP IS NOT INTENDED TO BE SOME SLY WAY OF SAYING "EAT ME!" TO THE QUAINT IDEA OF ROYALTY. Honest.

Rather, the U.K. restaurant chain Crown Carveries that commissioned the edible and nutritionally-balanced copy of official engagement portrait, says it "wanted to give the happy couple a tasteful memento of their special day," says retail operations director Martin Gosling. And we'll believe you if you say so, Martin.

Chopped carrots, cauliflower, turkey and peas should keep well over the years.

Via AOL.

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February 09, 2011

HISTORIC PINUP

Red Hot History: Farrah Fawcett's Iconic Swimsuit Goes To Smithsonian

THE FIRE ENGINE-RED HOT BATHING SUIT THAT FARRAH FAWCETT WORE TO INFAMY WILL become part of the permanent collection at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History.

Items that belonged to the 70s sex symbol have been donated by her longtime lover Ryan O'Neal, and the one-piece suit worn in her iconic swimsuit poster is part of the package.

Read the full post here. 

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February 02, 2011

HELP

Detroit Is A Wasteland Of Abandoned Dogs

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO BE SAD ABOUT IN THIS WORLD. ADD THIS TRAVESTY TO THE PILE.

Detroit has become an urban wasteland for unwanted, abandoned and neglected dogs. More than 50,000 of them roam the city scavenging for food and shelter, according to this video posted by Hush313 on YouTube.

Read the full post here. 

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SCARY

What 'Snowmaggedon' Looks Like From Above

THE SATELLITE PICTURE ABOVE FROM THE National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration illustrates the 'monster' storm pummeling much of the nation. Call it whatever you want -- the Snowpocalypse, an old-fashioned blizzard, or my favorite Snotorious B.I.G, the storm extending from New Mexico to Maine is complicating life for up to 100 million Americans.

Read the full post here. 

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HAUTE MEDIEVAL

Warrior Chic: Jewelry Couture Rock And Bone's Helmet Collection

IT'S A SNAP TO IMAGINE LADY GAH DONNING THIS MEDIEVAL HELMUT WHILE HUNTING DOWN the beast that provides her next flesh dress. (Boar, anyone?)

This antiqued-style steel helmet fashioned with studs, onyx stones and Swarovski crystals is part of the "Helmet" collection by the jewelry maker Rock and Bone. No doubt made with the dominatrix in mind. The piece includes chain with black pearl details on the back and mesh on the eye. Helmet measures 12.5 inches and weighs 5 pounds. Yours for $2,890.

More warrior chic inside.

Read the full post here. 

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January 27, 2011

REMEMBER ME

Stopping By A Woods On A Snowy Evening

A STAG MEMORIAL STANDS INSIDE THE VICTORIAN-ERA ROSEHILL CEMETERY ON CHICAGO'S NORTHSIDE.

Read the full post here. 

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January 26, 2011

REMEMBER THIS

Photo credit: Joe-Ks.com

More Good News For Catnappers!

SCORE ANOTHER POINT FOR NAPPERS, at least the human kind. (Yes the picture above is totally gratuitous.) In yet another study -- this one in Germany -- researchers have proven the power of short sessions of sleep.

Read the full post here. 

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January 24, 2011

MISS ANTHROPE

Invitation To A Beheading: Meet Doll Photographer Mariel Clayton

WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT ALL ALONG: BARBIE IS A PSYCHO BITCH.

But, nooo, we couldn't see past her blindingly perfect smile and her too-small waist and her hypnotic blue eyes. No, we had to be dazzled by the playa who gets played all the time.

Guess she got sick of pretending and took it out on the jailers who imprison her inside her perfect plastic smile. Her perfect image.

Be careful what you wish for, boys.

That's our snap analysis of the doll photography of Mariel Clayton, who creates shockingly macabre crimes committed by a smiling Barbie. Creeeepy!

No doubt, acclaim is in her future. Inside, more mock death scenes.

Read the full post here. 

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January 18, 2011

SAY WHAT!!?

Eyescanhascheezburger

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SILLY-LOOKING ANIMAL, GOOGLY EYES AND OBESITY? EYESCANHASCHEEZBURGER.

Meet Heidi, an American expatriate living the celebrity life at the Leipzig Zoo in Germany. The two-and-a-half year old crosseyed opossum was discovered during a behind-the-scene glimpse of the zoo's newcomers last year. Heidi's "zoinks zowie!" eyes has made her a instant celebrity on Facebook where she has 187,376 fans as of 3:30pm January 13, US Central Time.

Read the full post here. 

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January 13, 2011

FUTURE SHOCKING

Unbelievable WTFs! Celebrity Predictions For The New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR! With last night's revelries just a dream away, and hangovers tamed by time and rehydration, let's consider what's in store for 2011. It's a tradition here at CrabbyGolightly to predict celebrity happenings for the upcoming year -- so what if we're batting zero? It's all in the fun. So without further ado:

Needing to top her last, best, publicity stunt, -- the meat dress -- LADY GAGA sacrifices a live cow on stage, then throw cuts of raw flesh to her ravenous fans. The public bloodletting is the only way the predatory pop star can garner even bigger headlines than she did last year -- and it works: 3,000 concertgoers are hospitalized in the worst case of food poisoning ever.

Read the full post here. 

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January 01, 2011

A HUNTING HE WILL GO

Did A Kentucky Man Bag A Chupacabra?

MARK COTHREN IS OBVIOUSLY A MAN WHO LIKES TO SHOOT FIRST AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER.

We jump to that conclusion after reading that Cothren shot a freaky hairless creature that wandered onto his lawn because, well, he didn't recognize it.

Read the full post here. 

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December 27, 2010

ALL CONSUMING GOODS

Making Spirits Bright: Ward Jenkins' Vintage Christmas Illustrations

WARD JENKINS HAS A SIMPLE EXPLANATION FOR WHY HE COLLECTS VINTAGE MIDCENTURY PAPER EPHEMERA: It makes him happy.

"The characters, the lettering, the optimism conveyed, the innocence -- all of it encompasses happiness and of a 'better time,' so to speak,"' Jenkins explains by email. "It makes me happy and I love looking at them."

Lucky for us, Jenkins shares his infatuation with illustration on Flickr, where he posts vintage Christmas graphics, illustrations from children's story books and his own mod-flavored creations.

Jenkins, 42, is an animator and illustrator who lives in Portland, Ore. with his wife and two kids. He blames his wife for exposing him to the vast world of vintage paper ephemera.

Read the full post here. 

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December 24, 2010

AWASH WITH GOOD WILL

Singapore Gets 'Potty-Mouthed' For A Good Cause

CAN WE IMPORT THIS IDEA TO AMERICA?

Restroom Association (Singapore) is launching a campaign to encourage cleanup of that country's public toilets. The LOO campaign -- or "Let's Observer Ourselves"'-- is urging the cleanup of the city-state's 30,000 public restrooms, only 500 of which meets RAS' standards for cleanliness.

Read the full post here. 

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December 22, 2010

RARING TO GO

Santa Saddles Up

IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME, AND I WANT TO SEE SANTA CLAUS.

Nothing in the news grabs my attention this morning. It's hard for anything to compete with the sparkling tree throwing light a few yards away. I've taken the easy way out; I've headed to Flickr.

Above, a vintage T. Hee illustration from the collection of Texan Calsidyrose on Flickr.

Ride 'em, Santa.

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December 21, 2010

LUNAR CALENDAR

Look Skyward: Images Of Lunar Eclipses From Flickr

THE SPECTACLE IN THE SKY IS SET TO TAKE PLACE IN THE WEE HOURS TUESDAY MORNING. THAT'S WHEN the earth's shadow will cast a rosy pall over a full moon during the first lunar eclipse since 2008.

The show falls on the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. And depending on who you read, the last time that happened was either 300 or 500 years ago, but who's counting?

Those keen on the details can review the 12 stages of an eclipse here at Space.com.

Me? I just want to look at the pretty pictures like the one above by Lloyd K. Barnes on Flickr. "This is an image of the moon during the total lunar eclipse, superimposed over the Vancouver night skyline,'' says Barnes on Flickr. "Both shots were taken in the early morning of August 28, 2007 during the eclipse. Some photoshop colour work was done on the city shot, but the moon was actually this colour."

More lunar eclipse photos from Flickr below.

Read the full post here. 

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December 20, 2010

ROFLOL

Dog Meets World

AN ADORABLE PAMPERED POOCH GETS TAKEN FOR A RIDE THROUGH THE SLUSH-FILLED STREETS OF Bucharest, Romania, where circumstances have obviously brightened since the country's notorious orphan crisis.

Via Gawker. Image via AP.

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December 17, 2010

DUH

Scientists Confirm Rich People Lack Empathy

IN YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW -- QUOTE "SCIENCE" -- confirms the obvious, a study published in Psychological Science claims that rich folks are worse at reading people's emotions than poor people.

Read the full post here. 

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December 13, 2010

BESOTTED, BETROTHED

Officially Engaged, Will & Kate Bring Back The Fairytale

BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T SEE THEM ANYWHERE ELSE (WINK), HERE ARE PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON'S official engagement snaps.

Photoshop never looked more glamorous as on the handsome William and the elegant Kate, who by radiating joy and love are single handedly bringing back the fairytale. And woe unto them if they ever have a bad hair day or utter a cross word because we expect more from our illusions.

Read the full post here. 

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THE INKWELL RUNS DRY

Brenda Starr, Girl Reporter, Retires Her Notebook & Pen

WITH NEWSPAPERS INCREASINGLY LOOKING LIKE ANACHRONISTIC LADIES WHO LUNCH, IT SEEMS FITTING THAT THE ONCE DAZZLING GIRL REPORTER BRENDA STARR would exit the newsroom now.

The sexy, siren-haired chronicler, is being forced into retirement next month because Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich, who pens the strip in its current incarnate, is not reupping her contract.

Read the full post here. 

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December 10, 2010

FULL-FILLING PROPHESY

Scientists Say You Can Trim Your Appetite By Visualizing Eating More

GOOD NEWS FOR CHUBBIES AND DIETERS EVERYWHERE! SCIENCE now suggests we may be able to think ourselves thinner.


Save 57 percent off Bonobos.

Read the full post here. 

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December 09, 2010

ROCKY'S 'HORRENDOUS' PICTURE SHOW

Sexxxy Sylvester Stallone Movie Sells On Ebay For $412K

SYLVESTER STALLONE WAS A STARVING ARTIST WHEN HE ACCEPTED $200 BUCKS TO MAKE THE SEXXXY MOVIE, The Party at Kitty and Stud's. Now the worldwide rights to what was Stallone's first movie have sold on Ebay for $412,100.

"I'd been bounced out of my apartment and had spent four nights in a row at the Port Authority bus terminal, trying to avoid the cops, trying to get some sleep and keeping my pens and books in a 25-cent locker," Stallone told Playboy in 1978.

Read the full post here. 

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December 06, 2010

CHEMICALLY PREDISPOSED

Mercury In Environment Making Birds Turn Gay?

A FLORIDA SCIENTIST SAYS THAT MERCURY-FED IBISES FAVORED THE COMPANY of male birds over females and his finding has implications for the bird population in the wild.

Wanting to test the consequences of mercury in groundwater, Florida University researcher Peter Frederick ­captured 160 young white ibises and divided them into four groups.

While the control group received no mercury-laced food, three other groups were served varying quantities of methylmercury in their diets. The result: 55 percent of birds who received the highest doses of mercury snubbed females and nested with another male.

Read the full post here. 

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December 03, 2010

A 'NOVEL' IDEA

Why Staying Up Late & Doing Drugs Proves You're Smartest

IF YOU'VE SPENT A LIFETIME LOOKING FOR EXCUSES FOR STAYING UP LATE AND DOING DRUGS, meet your validation: Satoshi Kanazawa.

Kanazawa is an evolutionary psychologist who contends that smart people are more nocturnal and also experiment with psychoactive drugs than average or dull individuals.

Kanazawa attributes both behaviors to intelligent people's "evolutionarily novel preference" -- or put in its simplest terms, the tendency for intelligent people to experiment outside the bounds of normal ancestral behavior.

Read the full post here. 

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November 15, 2010

HEART RUNS THROUGH IT

Big Love: Helpful Hippo Saves Two Struggling Animals From Drowning

IF YOU WANT TO READ ABOUT THE PEDOPHILIA PUBLISHING BROUHAHA, YOU'RE fresh out of luck here. Nancy Pelosi's downfall? Take it elsewhere.

This morning here at CrabbyGolightly, it's all about the hero hippo.

Read the full post here. 

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November 11, 2010

SOMETHING TO CHEW ON

Something to Celebrate? Americans Sicker But Brits Die Quicker

GOOD NEWS FOR AMERICANS! We slide slowly toward our inexorable deaths, while the curtain falls faster on Brits.

Read the full post here. 

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November 04, 2010

LARGESS

The Gift Of A Meaningful Life: Canadian Couple Give Away $11.2 Million Lottery

ALLEN AND VIOLET LARGE ARE LIVING UP TO THEIR LAST NAME.

When the Canadian couple won $11.2 million in a lottery last July, they decided that the money "was a big headache" and gave it all away.

"That money that we won was nothing," Allen, 75, told a reporter while choking back tears. "We have each other."

Read the full post here. 

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LARGESS

The Gift Of A Meaningful Life: Canadian Couple Give Away $11.2 Million Lottery

ALLEN AND VIOLET LARGE ARE LIVING UP TO THEIR LAST NAME.

When the Canadian couple won $11.2 million in a lottery last July, they decided that the money "was a big headache" and gave it all away.

"That money that we won was nothing," Allen, 75, told a reporter while choking back tears. "We have each other."

Read the full post here. 

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GOAL IS 'FOOD JUSTICE'

McDonald's McBurglared? San Francisco Bans Happy Meal Toys

CALL ME A COMMUNIST BUT COUNT ME AMONG THOSE THRILLED THAT THE GLISTENING CITY BY THE BAY HAS BANISHED TOYS FROM HAPPY MEALS.

San Francisco's Board of Supervisors has banished toys from meals deemed too high in sugar and fat content in a move they are labeling "food justice" for the poor.

Read the full post here. 

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November 03, 2010

CRUEL PROFITEERING

Poachers Slaughter Kenyan Rhino At Sanctuary

One Man Proposes Poisoning Horns To Kill Black Market's Consumers

POACHERS SLAUGHTERED A 41-YEAR-OLD RHINOCEROS NAMED STUMPY LAST WEEKEND INSIDE A KENYAN ANIMAL SANCTUARY LAST WEEKEND BY POACHERS.

"Our worst fears were realized when a freshly shot rhino carcass was found -- the horns hacked off," Richard Moller, chief conservation officer at the Lewa Wildlife Conservancy in Kenya, said in a statement.

Read the full post here. 

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INEVITABLE APPROACHES?

Has Waity Katie's Time Arrived? Rumors Rampant Of Impending Royal Wedding

THERE'S A SAYING ABOUT A POT AND GETTING OFF IT IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO YOUR BUSINESS. And after nine years of dating England's Prince William, Royal girlfriend Kate Middleton surely must be thinking about that colloqualism for marriage.

And so the drumbeat is growing louder that an engagement is imminent between England's heir to the throne and the commoner he met at college.

Read the full post here. 

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SMALL LESSONS

Mr. Draper Loses His Trousers And Other Cautionary Mr. (Mad) Men Tales

THEY WERE SLIM AND CAPTIVATING AND CHEAP, JUST LIKE OUR VERY OWN DON DRAPER.

'They' are the pocket-sized Mr. Men and Little Miss series published by Roger Hargreaves beginning in 1971.

Populated by titles such as Mr. Clumsy and Mr. Greedy, Little Miss Sunshine and Little Miss Fickle, the series' characters personified their names. And in each tiny volume, there was a lesson imparted to wee readers.

Now the estate of Hargreaves has collaborated with AMC Television to bring out six new volumes for adult readers based on characters from Mad Men. And like the original books, each new book contains a cautionary tale hinted at in the title.

Read the full post here. 

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October 26, 2010

R.I.P.

Paul The Prophetic Octopus Dies

PAUL THE PRESCIENT OCTOPUS HAS DIED. Believed born in Weymouth, England in January 2008, he would have almost been three years old.

The German cephalopod became an international sensation after correctly predicting the winner in eight World Cup matches.

Read the full post here. 

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CAPTURING LIFE, DEATH

Winners At Beholding: The Veolia Environment Photo Awards

A BABOON STUDIES A DEAD BIRD AT Zimbabwe's Mana Pools National Park. The photo was taken by Adrian Bailey, among the winners of this year's Veolia Environnement Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition.

"He was almost circumspect, gazing at the body as though in deep thought,' said Adrian.

Bailey's snap was honored in the adult photography category.

More winners on the jump.

Read the full post here. 

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October 21, 2010

HOMOPHONE

Eat This, Not That: News From The Mullet Festival

THE HEADLINE STEALS MY ATTENTION: "Man arrested for trying to enter Mullet Festival without paying."

Anticipating many LOL pictures, maybe reports from a Nickleback concert, and a wave of 70s nostalgia, I click.

Read the full post here. 

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TAKEN FOR A RIDE

Swingers At Navy Pier

IT'S ALL ONE BIG BLUR AT CHICAGO'S NAVY PIER: RIDES, RESTAURANTS, RETAIL AND RECREATION. And especially if you're riding the Wave Swinger at night.

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October 19, 2010

ROOTS

Uneasy Coincidence

German Exhibit Braves Look At Hilter As Country Is Embroiled In Debate Over Immigrants

IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE COINCIDENCE OF TIMING, the German Historical Museum opened an exhibit titled "Hitler and the Germans" just as the country's Chancellor Angela Merkel has created a firestorm by saying immigrants who aren't Christian "have no place" in the country.

Read the full post here. 

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October 18, 2010

THE NATURE/NUTURE DEBATE

Is 'Gay' Contagious? Study Claims Homosexuals Have More Gay Kids

IN A STUDY THAT PROMISES TO IGNITE DEBATE, a Kansas State University professor who performed a meta-analysis of 26 studies says that the children of gay parents are "far more likely" to be gay themselves.

Read the full post here. 

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October 17, 2010

ONLY IN AMERICA

Halloween Pet Parade: Dogs & Cats In Costume

IT'S A TRICK DRESSING UP YOUR PET IN COSTUME, BUT WHAT A TASTY TASTY TREAT FOR THE EYES!

It's October so you know what that means: time for one of the Internet's favorite memes, Halloween Pets.

After spending waaay too many hours scouring the web for the latest and greatest, here's some pet treats taken by -- what else -- tricksters. Enjoy, on the jump.

Read the full post here. 

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October 16, 2010

BYPRODUCT OF LIFESTYLE

What The Mummies Confirm: Cancer Is A Modern Scourge

A FTER STUDYING HUNDREDS OF TISSUE SAMPLES FROM ANCIENT MUMMIES, RESEARCHERS HAVE CONCLUDED THAT CANCER IS A "MAN-MADE" DISEASE.

"The virtual absence of malignancies in mummies [indicates]...that cancer-causing factors are limited to societies affected by modern industrialisation," says Michael Zimmerman , a visiting professor at England's Manchester University.

While cancer is the leading cause of death after cardiovascular disease, Zimmerman and his colleague Rosalie David's research confirms that it was extremely rare in ancient times.

'There is nothing in the natural environment that can cause cancer,'' David says. "So it has to be a man-made disease, down to pollution and changes to our diet and lifestyle."

Read the full post here. 

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October 15, 2010

NEWS YOU CAN USE?

Good News! Love Dulls The Pain Of A Hot Probe To The Hand

FEELING SMITTEN CAN DULL THE pain of a hot probe to the hand, according to a Stanford University research study.

Researchers showed 15 students in the throes of early romance photos of their amours while having pain inflicted on them with hot probes.

Read the full post here. 

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October 14, 2010

ARYAN VACATION?

In The Maldives, Plans For A Blonde, Blonde, Blonde World

THE LITHUANIAN COMPANY Olialia -- pronounced "ooh-la-la" -- plans to build a resort staffed only by blond women, and vacationers will arrive there via an airline with only blonde flight attendants, according to news reports.

The resort, on the island country of Maldives in the Indian Ocean, will also reportedly house an education center called "Pretty Women" -- where female guests will learn "to always be perfect and look great," the company's president, Giedre Pukiene, allegedly said.

Olialia reportedly frequently uses beautiful blondes in its advertising. Though accused of sexism, the company expects to double its profits this year to $A9.7 million, according to the BBC.

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October 13, 2010

HOLY BREAD

Holy Toast! Glee's Grilled Cheesus Delivers

PRAISE BE TO GOD! THE LORD DOES ANSWER PRAYERS.

Count me among the Glee followers who beseeched the heavens that the FOX TV dramedy would eschew celebrity and return to its purer form.

Jane Lynch et. al is all the show ever needs to keep me tuned in. And after last week's brilliant exploration of faith and its occasional wayward machinations, I forgive Ryan Murphy for his earlier tryst with Britney Spears.

Read the full post here. 

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October 12, 2010

NIGHT ON TOWN

Working The "Fun-Set Strip"

AFTER WE WENT OUT DRINKING, WE USED TO LOVE TO DRIVE UP AND DOWN Van Buren Street in downtown Phoenix to gawk at all of the hookers.

It was a blast. We would see a group standing on the corner smiling at us, waving us over, asking us if we had any dope or asking us if we wanted to party. We would shout back at them, 'Hey, you wanna fuck?' Or we would yell, 'Hey, how much?'

Read the full post here. 

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GROWING PAINS

Sticking It To Myself

I USED TO SHOOT STEROIDS, AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN AS ''THE JUICE,'' INTO MY ASS.

I would shoot it in my stomach, my back and my shoulders. The worst was when I shot it in my legs.

I sat on the toilet seat with my pants and underwear around my ankles, and stabbed myself with a half-inch diabetic needle. I raised my arm high into the air and brought it down hard on my leg. I had to do it repeatedly because the needle would just pop back out as quickly as it went in. I had very little fat for the needle to absorb.

Read the full post here. 

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October 08, 2010

TREASURE TROVE

You Can Have The Masterpiece: I'll Take That Parisian Flat

THE HEADLINES BLARE NEWS ABOUT A "MISSING MASTERPIECE," but it's a rare example of when the media misses the better story.

A painting by Italian Giovanni Boldini was found inside a dusty Parisian apartment that had gone unused for seven decades. The flat's owner, who died in June at the age of 91, had relocated to southern France before World War II and had never returned despite paying upkeep for the next 70 years.

When she died, auctioneers entered her flat which had become a time capsule of the past. The apartment had been the residence of actress Marthe de Florian, who is the beauty pictured in Boldini's painting. Seems Florian kept the company of many suiters in the apartment, and auctioneers also found "letters from her lovers in little packages wrapped up with ribbons of different colours."

The painting is lovely, but check out the photos inside this flat. Wow!

Oh, the Boldini was sold at auction for $2.9 million dollars.

Read the full post here. 

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EXCEPTIONAL

Science Proves David Beckham's The Exception To The Rule

WHEN IT COMES TO CHOOSING A PARTNER, THERE IS THE EXCEPTION AND THEN THE RULE.

The rule: most of us fantasize about being with a partner unlike our own.

A study published in late September found that the majority of men and women say they prefer different body types than that of their actual mates. Turns out few of us end up with our "ideal" types because "our ideals are usually rare or unavailable," according to University of Sheffield's Dr. Alexandre Courtiol, one of the authors of the study.

In real life, most men would prefer thinner mates. And while most women also want something different -- there's wider variation in their dream boats.

The exception to this rule: Victoria Beckham, who recently cooed an appreciation of "perfect" husband, British footballer David Beckham.

Read the full post here. 

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October 07, 2010

LIGHT SHOW

Traveling Through Space

JUST LIKE THE UNIVERSE, THE DIGITAL WORLD IS ALWAYS EXPANDING. Who knows where you'll end up next.

Today, I visited Web420, where I stared in awe at the psychedelic animation.

Check out some of the crazy psychedelic animations on the jump. But don't stare too long lest your eyes bleed.

Read the full post here. 

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UNADORNED

Fragments Of Marilyn Monroe For Sale

SHE WAS AN ICONIC SEX SYMBOL, BUT A NEW BOOK of personal writings and photos gives glimpse into Marilyn Monroe's curiosity and melancholy.

Fragments contains 250 pages of letters, poems and even recipes found in Monroe's personal collection. The book is being jointly published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux in the U.S. and Editions du Seuil in Europe and is edited by Bernard Comment.

"She was very generous, endlessly giving of herself," Comment told Swissinfo. "It often leaves you reeling, and it is always touching.

Read the full post here. 

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PRETTIEST IN PINK

Barbie Goes Pink For A Good Cause

THIS DOLL HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER BEST FRIEND:

The Iconic Barbie, adorned in classic black dress and a dazzling emerald-cut pink diamond collar necklace, will be sold at Christie's to benefit the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Designed by Austranian jeweler Stefano Canturi, the Oct. 20 sale is anticipated to fetch up to $500,000, a very pretty penny.

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October 06, 2010

JEEPERS CREEPERS

So This Guy Walks Into A Bar And Says...

SO, YOU THINK YOU'RE A COMEDIAN, EH?

For a mere $12.99, you can pretend to be your favorite late-night buffoon this Halloween. Choose from Jay Leno, Dave Letterman or Conan O'Brien.

Adorn and just add snark. Available at Party City.

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October 02, 2010

DIVINE HELP FOR TROUBLEMAKERS

Catholic Church to Designate 'Patron Saint of Whistleblowers?'

WHISTLEBLOWERS AND INSUBORDINATES might soon have their own patron saint to beseech in times of trouble.

The Catholic Church's Pope Benedict XVI is expected to beautify Australian native Mother Mary MacKillop at an October 17th service in Rome.

Read the full post here. 

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September 30, 2010

YABBA DABBA DOODLE

Google Honors 50 Years Of A Modern Stone Age Family

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT MARRIAGE, I LEARNED FROM WATCHING THE FLINTSTONES.

It's true. My parents separated when I was three and the only couple I got to watch up close were the bickering blue-collared Fred and Wilma Flintstone. And despite predictions to the contrary, I'm not divorced yet.

Read the full post here. 

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UNSETTLED

Still Active: The JonBenet Ramsey Case

BOULDER, COLO. POLICE ARE HOPING TO RE-INTERVIEW THE BROTHER OF MURDERED BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT JONBENET RAMSEY.

Lawrence Schiller, author of Perfect Murder, Perfect Town, which details the 6-year-old's murder and the subsequent botched police investigation, told CBS that authorities want to reinterview JonBenet's brother.

Read the full post here. 

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September 29, 2010

THEY CAME, THEY SAW, THEY SAID 'MEH'

Aliens? Here? Welcome To My World

THE STORY CALLED THE EVENTS "ALARMING" AND described as "chilling" the eyewitness accounts of UFOS by former U.S. Air Force officers. But if I ever encounter these so-called aliens, I'll throw my doors wide open, offer them tea and crumpets, invite them to stick around for a while.

That's because the mysterious visitors that seven former U.S. military men spoke of Monday at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. allegedly were delivering a message against the world's nuclear arms, claims UFO researcher Robert Hastings.

Read the full post here. 

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September 28, 2010

IN RECOVERY

Comic Greg Giraldo In Critical Condition

STOP ME IF YOU'VE ALREADY HEARD THIS ONE:

Comic Greg Giraldo is in critical condition in a New Jersey hospital after accidentally overdosing on prescription meds.

Never heard of him? If you watch the above clip, you'll never forget him.

Read the full post here. 

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September 27, 2010

'LAME' EXCUSE

Brits Who Abandoned Limping Dog Named Ginger Identified

ANOTHER ANIMAL DISCARDED LIKE TRASH, ANOTHER DARK HEART REVEALED.

Just one month after video captured 45-year-old British Mary Bale tossing a friendly feline into a trash can, another video has captured a man abandoning a limping dog on an "industrial estate" in Weymouth, England.

The abandoned pooch, dubbed "Ginger" since its rescue, was left after it allegedly bit an 8-year-old boy. The dog's owner, Andrew Shepherd, says friends were pressuring him to euthanize the dog but he couldn't bring himself to do it. So asked two friends to drop her off at a shelter.

Instead the two, Jenny Hadfield and Michael Hartley, abandoned the dog 300 miles from home and drove off. The two now face criminal investigation.

Read the full post here. 

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September 26, 2010

SAFE SEXY

Get A Whiff Of This Contraption: The Emergency Bra

NO, THE WOMAN ABOVE IS NOT PREPARING TO ROB A BANK with the command to "stick 'em up!"

In actuality, she's wearing the "stick 'em up" over her face: the "Emergency Bra," which doubles as gas mask for both wearer and a friend.

For just $29.95, the prudent and paranoid can now buy the undergarment that lets them be both safe and sexy.

Read the full post here. 

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September 25, 2010

WEIRD SCIENCE

What Rot! Life And Death On A Plate

THE EEWWW FACTOR HERE RANKS RIGHT UP THERE WITH EATING BOOGERS AND LIGHTING FARTS.

Just what you need to make the kiddies love science!

Ever wonder what happens to food when you leave it out to rot for two weeks? Well, here's your answer courtesy of the BBC's show Bang Goes The Theory.

Read the full post here. 

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September 23, 2010

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Adoptee Discovers Mom Is Bearded Lady

A 33-YEAR-OLD ADOPTED KANSAS MAN SET OUT TO FIND HIS BIOLOGICAL MOTHER. She turned out to be a bearded "werewolf" lady featured in Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

Richard Lorenc's father took him from his mother shortly after his birth. He was reunited with his mother this past spring. Through his research he discovered that both his mother and maternal grandmother had "werewolf syndrome," and that is mother was born a hermaphrodite, with both male and female reproductive organs.

Read the full post here. 

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September 20, 2010

HYPNOTIZED

One Small Misstep For Boy, One Giant Leap For Apekind

A GORILLA AT THE SAN FRANCISCO ZOO investigates a DSI XL accidentally dropped by a small boy. The pic was snapped by photographer Chris Spicuzza who was, as they say, in the right place at the right time.

No word on what the ape's final score was.

Via GamesRadar.com.

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September 17, 2010

CONCEPTUAL LOVE

Love, Japan Style: With Smart Phones & Virtual Girls

BEING A GIGANTIC GEEK, OF COURSE I HAVE AN ODD RELATIONSHIP WITH JAPAN. Quite of a few of my favorite things come from there: video games, anime, pocky, giant robot fights. But every now and then a story pops up that just makes me shake my head and sigh:

A new vacation resort in Atami, Japan allows gamers to date virtual girlfriends from the video game Love Plus. The game lets boys kiss and hold hands with virtual girls Manaka, Rinko or Nene.

Read the full post here. 

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September 01, 2010

RELEASE

After 34 Years, Cartoon Cathy Gets Liberated

SHE WAS AN ANACRONISM in an age when little girls wean while watching the Powerpuff Girls and and big girls model Sex & The City's Samantha. The comic strip's Cathy was a dweeb. And in today's media, there is no forgiving weak or powerless women.

So come October, after 34 years, Cathy creator Cathy Guisewite will put down her pencils and retire her alter ego. It was a remarkable run, considering that Cathy was the less glamorous, cartoon version of Bridget Jones.

Read the full post here. 

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August 16, 2010

NO PLACE LIKE

Over The Search Box, Google Doodle Celebrates Wizard Of Oz

IT'S PROBABLY JUST THE INTERNET BEHEMOTH'S WAY OF REMINDING US where we'd be without its Maps, but Google celebrates the 71st anniversary of The Wizard Of Oz today with a doodle depicting Dorothy, Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow marching toward Emerald City.

The cherished film classic about a little girl finding home inside her premiered in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin on August 12, 1939 at the Strand Theatre.

The musical takes us on a technicolored trip over the rainbow to a land populated by midgets and magic; where flying monkeys and evil witches impede our deepest wishes -- until we find what we've been searching for deep inside ourselves.

Read the full post here. 

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August 12, 2010

WHAT'S FOR DINNER

'Marinated Cat' Miscarried? That's A Crock!

GARY L. KORKUC, 51, told police that the cat stewing in oil and peppers in his trunk was "mean," so he cooked up his revenge: He was going to eat it.

Read the full post here. 

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August 11, 2010

FAST FORWARD LOOKING BACK

Never Prettier: Facebook, Skype, YouTube In Vintage Ad Campaign

A BRAZILIAN AD AGENCY HAS CREATED A sepia-colored past for our ultra modern communication methods, Facebook, Skye and YouTube.

The 60s-style illustrations cast these social media in the warm glow of nostalgia. And, at least to me, the illustrations by the MOMA ad agency make them prettier in pictures than they are in real time.

The campaign reportedly is pitching Maximidia Seminars titled "Everything Ages Fast."

And it only begs the question: What comes next?

Read the full post here. 

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August 06, 2010

TUNING IN

Five Decades Later, Psychiatry Passes The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

"Special K," 'Shrooms Get Science's Seal Of Approval

IT'S LIKE A SIXTIES FLASHBACK: five decades after Timothy Leary founded the Harvard Psilocybin Project and began proselytizing about the mind-blowing benefits of LSD, researchers are finding the same results in psychological studies carried out in laboratories around the country.

The most recent confirmation comes this month in a study that found a "single intravenous dose" of a chemical compound informally called "Special K" created an antidepressant effect within 40 minutes of patients receiving it, according to Medscape.com.

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August 04, 2010

CHEW ON THIS

'Biting' History: Winston Churchill's Denture Sells For $24,000

LET'S HOPE WINSTON CHURCHILL USED A LOT OF POLIDENT.

A partial denture belonging to Britain's stalwart leader during World War II --the one who promised to "never surrender" to the despicable Nazis -- sold at auction Thursday for $23,723.

"The atmosphere was electric," said a spokesman for the Keys Auctioneers in Aylesdham, England and we'll have to take his word.

Read the full post here. 

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July 31, 2010

GETTING RIGHT WITH GOD

By Losing Her Religion, Anne Rice Moves Closer To Christ

IN AN ELEGANT POLEMIC she wrote for the Washington Post for Easter 2008, Anne Rice's insoluble belief in God bolstered my own tempestuous faith.

"Look: I believe in Him. It's that simple and that complex," Rice wrote in opening her 1,100 word essay in which she recounts her baptism into belief.

Read the full post here. 

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DIAGNOSIS: OVERREACHING

Is Psychiatry's 'Bible' Mere Apocrypha?

THE CLIQUE THAT DEVISES THE DIAGNOSES IN THE The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual gets taken down in a pointed piece appearing in today's Guardian.

Dorothy Rowe is both therapist and writer, and in her column today also proves to be a fierce advocate for her patients as she dismisses the DSM as "mythology, not a scientific text."

That's because the diagnoses are created by American psychiatrists without relying on scientific studies to validate their conclusions, Rowe asserts. A DSM diagnosis is required to submit payment forms to insurance companies.

Read the full post here. 

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July 29, 2010

ELVIS FANATICISM LIVES!

Macabre Memorabilia Of Elvis' Embalming Up For Auction

FOR THE ELVIS FAN WITH A DARK SENSE OF HUMOR AND A BANKROLL, CONSIDER THE CORPSE TOE TAG.

Chicago's Leslie Hindman Auctioneers is auctioning off two lots of items collected by a Memphis embalmer who prepared the legendary's King of Rock's body for burial.

Lot 408 includes the eye liner, needle, comb, rubber gloves, aneurysm hooks and other tools used during the embalming of Elvis' bloated body. "All instruments and gloves were used in the preparation of the body of Elvis Presley and are accompanied by an affidavit,'' the online catalog asserts. "The tools were never used again on any other case." And aren't we all glad of that?

Read the full post here. 

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July 21, 2010

HE LIVED TO TELL THE TALE

A Shaggy Thirsty Dog Story

I KNOW A CAT WHO PLAYS GUITAR, ANSWERS THE PHONE AND TURNS OFF THE TV. Smartest cat I ever met.

And just recently, my normally placid domestic short-hair let out uncharacteristically loud and long shrieks as I napped on the couch while the carbon dioxide alarm went off. I could have died!

So it's no leap to swallow the story about Max the dog who beeped a car horn to save his life.

Read the full post here. 

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July 14, 2010

NO HONOR

Paul The Psychic Octopus Gets No Honor In His Country

IT'S TOUGH BEING A PROPHET IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY. Just ask Oprah or Paul the psychic octopus.

Goddamn German ingrates, threatening to eat the only octopus known to mankind to be able to predict outcomes, or specifically, the winner of six-out-of-six German World Cup games.

Here's a creature that humans didn't even know perceived football hegemony and he's accurately predicting wins!

And now that the Germans have been ousted by Spain, what do his bitter countrymammals want to do?

Cut off his head, chop off his tentacles, mix in a little soy and serve a miracle on a plate!

Read the full post here. 

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July 08, 2010

MINORITY REPORT

DNA Search In 'Grim Sleeper' Arrest Is Whole Nother Kind Of Scary

A GREAT THING HAPPENED IN CALIFORNIA YESTERDAY: A suspected serial murderer accused of killing 10 people was arrested. Hurray!

The bad news: he was fingered using DNA collected from his son when he was arrested in California, where the law allows police to collect DNA from suspects before they're convicted of a crime. And that's a whole nother kind of scary.

Lonnie Franklin Jr., a 57-year-old retired Los Angeles mechanic, was arrested on suspicion that he killed 10 women and one man in a series of murders dating back to 1988. The crime spree had been dubbed the work of the "Grim Sleeper" because the murderer took a 14-year hiatus between his earlier and later attacks. Franklin was a frequent customer of sex workers in the South Los Angeles neighborhood where he lived.

Read the full post here. 

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NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE

Pennsylvania Widow Keeps Macabre Museum Of Dead Loved Ones

WHEN DEATH KNOCKED AT HER DOOR, A 91-YEAR-OLD PENNSYLVANIA WIDOW SIMPLY INVITED IT IN, propped it up on a couch, applied makeup and perfume.

Because "death was very hard" for her to take, Jean Stevens simply ignored its grim realities when her husband, and then later, her twin sister died. After their burials, she had their embalmed bodies dug up and resumed life with them inside her house.

"Now, some people have a terrible feeling," Stevens told a reporter who paid her a visit at her "tumbledown" house. "They say, 'Why do you want to look at a dead person? Oh my gracious.' Well, I felt differently about death."

Read the full post here. 

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July 06, 2010

THE FUTURE IS NOW

Feds Give Thumbs Up To Flying Car

THE SPACE AGE WILL SOON BE PULLING IN YOUR DRIVEWAY.

The Federal Aviation Agency (FAA) has approved the saLe of the first flying car.

The Terrafugia, designed by MIT engineers, got the thumbs up despite weighing 110 pounds more than typical "light sport aircraft.'' But the federal agency ruled that as long as buyers were informed of the extra weight, the hybrid could be sold.

Read the full post here. 

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June 29, 2010

SUPER STITCHINS

World's Luckiest Cat Lands Bionic Legs After Farming Accident

THAT OSCAR IS ALIVE AT ALL BELIES THE OLD WIVES' TALE THAT BLACK CATS ARE UNLUCKY.

In fact, few felines of any color have ever been so blessed as the suburban London feline whose back paws were amputated in a farming accident.

The two-year-old "moggie" is lucky in several ways: he has owners who loved him so much they were willing to pay in excess of $3,000 for him to receive prosthetic paws and surgery.

And he benefited by proximity to the Eashing veterinarian who implanted the metal "pegs'' into his ankle bone.

"The real revolution," says veterinary "neuro-orthopaedic" surgeon Noel Fitzpatrick, is that Oscar's skin grew over the metal creating in essence "an extremely tight bone."

"We had to do a lot of soul-searching," Kate Nolan, the cat's owner, said on Fitzpatrick's website, "and our main concern has always been whether this operation would be in Oscar's best interests and would give him a better quality of life."

Read the full post here. 

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June 25, 2010

LOOKING SPIFFY

Serious About Good Humor

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June 18, 2010

WHY

What Makes Bradley Manning Tick? The Psychology Of Whistleblowers

E XCERPTS OF CHAT LOGS BETWEEN U.S. ARMY INTELLIGENCE ANALYST BRADLEY MANNING and convicted hacker Adrian Lamo reveal more about Manning than that he leaked the now-notorious video showing U.S. helicopter gunners slaying Iraqi men and Reuters journalists.

Manning's comments also reveal a naive, isolated and disillusioned idealist who may have had altruistic motives -- traits that are common among whistleblowers, according to research on the subject. Currently in custody in Kuwait, Manning also confided to Lamo that he had forwarded as many as 260,000 diplomatic cables to Wikileaks. Government authorities are now trying to hunt down Julian Assange, the founder of the whistleblowing organization, even though he has denied receiving such cables on Twitter.

In the excerpts published by Wired.com, Manning comes off as a serious-minded military analyst who becomes disheartened after a commanding officer ignored his analysis that a group of Iraqi detainees posed no threat to the Iraqi Federal Police.

"He didn't want to hear any of it," Manning wrote to Lamo on approximately on May 25. (Wired did not know the exact dates of the chats and estimated.) "He told me to shut up and explain how we could assist the FPs in finding MORE detainees."

Read the full post here. 

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June 14, 2010

PUMP IT UP

It's Grit vs. Glitz In Boston-L.A. NBA Playoffs

BOSTON VS. LAKERS. Grit vs. Glamour.

Here we go again.

It's playoff season and the Boston Celtics are at the Los Angeles Lakers, hoping to bring home a championship like they did in 2008.

Obviously, these two teams play with different "swag. Boston is gritty just like an East Coast team ought to be, while the Lakers are more La La Hollywood.

Grit versus Glitz. A battle that has bounced through NBA history 12 times.

My heart says Celtics in 6 but my God-given sense begs to differ: Lakers in 7.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of Kobe Bryant. At all.

Read the full post here. 

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June 10, 2010

BOWELS OF HELL

Earth's Maw Opens & Swallows Building Whole In Guatemala

THE EARTH OPENED AND SWALLOWED A THREE-STORY BUILDING AND HOUSE AFTER TROPICAL STORM AGATHA CAUSED a mudslide in Guatemala City.

The BP SPILL'S GETTING ME ALL PARANOID AND APOCALYPTIC, AND I CAN'T HELP WONDERING: Is Mother Earth seeking her revenge?

Reuters reported the storm swept away a highway bridge and forced more than 94,000 people to be evacuated from their homes. About 150 people are reported dead or missing across Central America.

A similar sinkhole opened nearby last year and residents blamed it on a poor sewage infrastructure.

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June 01, 2010

TORRENT

Sky, Unplugged

EVEN WHILE SHE'S THROWING A TEMPEST, MUMMY EARTH ENTHRALLS, AND I will always take her side in a battle.

Why am I not afraid? Probably because YouTube's beatlesfanxxl is safe inside while watching the dramatic show, and probably because the blue water matches my site! For me, the show's all virtual.

The skies just snapped and unleashed a violent storm of baseball-sized hail on Oklahoma City last Sunday.

It's amazing how much patience this Earth typically shows mankind. This reminds that we're here as long as we stay in her good graces.

Via Gawker.

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May 19, 2010

PARANOIA WINS THE RACE

Bad Parenting Pays Off! Insecure People May Play Key Role In Survival Of Their 'Group'

HERE'S A TRICK QUESTION:

You know that easygoing, fun, secure guy who's wife is guarded and distrustful? Which one do you think you'd want around when the going gets tough?

A new psychological study suggests you might live longer with that insecure woman.

That's because researchers found that groups that include an individual with an "insecure attachment" personality react more quickly to perceived threats, or in the study's example, smoke created by a concealed smoke machine.

"Secure people have disadvantages," the study's author, Tsachi Ein-Dor of the New School of Psychology in Herzliya, Israel, told LiveScience. They react slowly and then act slowly because they need to first get organized."

Ein-Dor says that humans may have evolved to live in mixed groups of "secure" and "insecure" individuals -- a hypothesis supported by evidence that almost half of all people in the world have insecure attachment styles, he maintains.

The takeaway message: parental neglect has its rewards! Those hard-learned lessons growing up learned while fending for yourself might help save the "group."

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May 16, 2010

GROUNDED

Organic Imagingings

MOTHER EARTH, WE PRESUME?

Painting by Julie Hefferman. Click her name for more fantastical imagings.

Via Stumbleupon.

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May 13, 2010

UNCOVERED

Past Life Progression: The Apron

THE LOS ANGELES TIMES RECENTLY HAILED THE REVIVAL OF THE apron.

"Forget those unisex, butcher-style, fuddy-duddy aprons," the writer pshawed. "Today's models …are fun."

Of course, they always could be.

A dowdy apron was de rigueur when kitchen work was hard and long. But even back when women were tied to the kitchen, aprons could be feminine and flirty, feisty and frilly.

They were the dessert before dinner, the eye candy in the kitchen.

And for today's hostess with the mostest, aprons still deliver a dash of delight. Here's a sampling from around the web with links for shoppers. Above is a pretty pink and green apron displayed in Apron Chronicles: A Patchwork of American Recollections.

For more fun, read Hootin' Tootin' Fun Finds On Etsy.

Etsy Trinkets For The Tweet Obsessed.

Have Yourself A Very Merry Kitschmas.

Blythe: She's A Real Doll -- And Obsession.

Read the full post here. 

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May 12, 2010

SPEAK SOFTLY

Not Naturally Endowed, Teased TSA Worker Evens Score With Man-Made Baton

ISN'T THIS WHY WEAPONS WERE INVENTED IN THE FIRST PLACE?

A TSA employee is facing criminal prosecution after he walloped with a police baton a coworker who had mocked the size of his manhood. His shortcoming was allegedly revealed after he walked in front of a full-body imaging screen during training several months ago, according to reports.

Rolando Negrin, 44, "could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind," according to a Miami-Dade Police Department report.

Read the full post here. 

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May 10, 2010

RELATABLE

Meet The Relatives: Neanderthals

A LITTLE BIT OF CAVEMAN LURKS IN MOST OF US, SAY SCIENTISTS who've mapped out the genomes of Neanderthals who lived more than 38,000 years ago in Croatia.

The finding counters previous studies and lends evidence that modern homo sapiens mated with Neanderthals as recently as 50,000 years ago, before modern humans spread into East Asia.

Paleogeneticists at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany sequenced the Neanderthal genome using more than 4 billion nucleotides recovered from the bones of three females.

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WHY

The Best Advice You Never Heard: Marry Someone Curious

HE'S BEEN CALLED THE "hookup man," teaching men how to flirt and women how to be "irresistible." But celebrated love Dr. Paul Dobransky isn't all about the catch.

In a recent piece he wrote on his Psychology Today blog, the Chicago psychiatrist makes a compelling case for why a potential mate's curiosity is predictive of the chance of successful long-term love.

Dobransky contents that people who lack curiosity become "dispassionate, stilted lovers" who haven't the interest to inquire about your dreams and desires.

Read the full post here. 

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May 05, 2010

HEYDAY

Unburied Treasure: Celebrity Snapshots From The 70s

JUST A FEW STEPS WEST OF WRIGLEY FIELD, TOM BOYLE TRADES in the flotsam and jetsam of the past.

Boyle, 79, is the owner of the aptly named "Yesterday,'' a tiny yellow shack on Addison Street filled to the brim with collectibles from yesteryear. There's women's magazines dating to the 20s, old issues of Look and Collier's, original movie posters, newspapers documenting momentous events, baseball cards, political buttons and more.

And then sitting casually on the counter is a cardboard box filled hundreds of black and white snapshots of celebrities who, while in their heyday of the 70s, traveled through Chicago. Above is a snap of the incomparable comedic actress Betty White photographed 1977.

The photos are the legacy of photographer Don Fisher, who described himself as part of the "friendly paparazzi.'' When it was offered, Tom snapped up Fisher's entire collection, from which these snaps were culled. One lady came in one day and bought about $500 worth.

Alas, I missed the biggest names and rock stars, but Boyle says he has the negatives somewhere.

Check 'em out. They're great fun.

Read the full post here. 

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May 02, 2010

HANG WITH 'THE GANG'

Today Only, Free Comics For The Hi-Low Crowd

ALL ACROSS AMERICA, CHUBBY MEN WEARING FLANNEL AND JEANS gather today in local comic book stores for handouts in honor of Free Comic Book Day.

Kidding! At least, about the flannel part. The free part is true!

Started in 2002, Free Comic Day is sponsored by the comic industry to promote the uniquely "American art form'' that began in earnest in the 1930s. A format that began primarily telling cartooned superhero stories has spread to include genres such manga, fantasy, humor, and horror. For a quick overview of the industry, stop by here.

But even better, visit your local comic dealer to join the party. You'll be supporting local businesses. And it might be the only chance for these hi-low readers to meet girls this year.

Kidding!

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May 01, 2010

STICK 'EM UP

The Lowly Post-It: Paying Tribute To An Idea That Stuck

AS THE STORY GOES, DIVINE INSPIRATION PLAYED A ROLE IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF 3M's Post-It Notes.

The three-by-three inch squares of affixable paper made their national debut in 1980. But the little sticky-that-could took a long time coming.

It was a full 12 years earlier, in 1968, when Dr. Spencer Silver discovered a "unique, repositionable" while working in 3M's labs. Patent No. 3691140 for acrylate copolymer microspheres was issued in September 1972.

But it was only in 1974, when 3M scientist Art Fry "tires of losing his place" in his church hymnal, that use for the new adhesive is devised.

It took another six years before "sticky notes" were introduced to a nation of gratified office workers.

Thirty years later, it's inconceivable that an office exists anywhere without them, and the stickies have been among the five top-selling office supplies every year since, according to the Associated Press.

Read the full post here. 

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April 26, 2010

A CLICHED VISION

Stephen Hawking Is Guilty Of Alien Profiling

ASTROPHYSICIST STEPHEN HAWKING JOINS THE CHORUS of credible voices who believe that alien life forms exist, in his case based only on the sheer number of galaxies that exist in the universe.

But in a new Discovery series in which he makes the assertion, Hawking advises humans to avoid summonsing alien life forms because, if they arrive, they'll likely be seeking to steal Earth's resources.

Hawking speculated that alien visits would be as devastating to the planet as Christopher Columbus' arrival in the New World was for Native Americans.

"I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet," he said. "Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they can reach."

Who knew that Hawking was such a close-minded pessimist, capable of stereotyping hypothetical aliens with one broad brush!

Who suspected that his world view would be so male-directed?

Read the full post here. 

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UNWITTING

Did Serial Psycho Keep Photo Scrapbook Of Targets?

WITH ONE OR TWO EXCEPTIONS, THE LIGHT EMANATING from the subjects' eyes reflects unguarded ease with being in a serial killer's company.

The individuals depicted in the 215 images released by the New York Police Department probably had no idea that the charming cameraman was a sociopathic killer. Their photos are among 1,000 pictures uncovered when authorities arrested Rodney Alcala for a series of California murders between 1971 and 1979.

Alcala, 66, was convicted last month of committing five murders in the 1970s. Most were tied to him from DNA evidence. The jury recommended that he be put to death. Detectives suspect that many more women may have fallen prey to Alcala, a U.C.L.A. graduate who allegedly briefly studied under Roman Polanski.

Read the full post here. 

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April 22, 2010

FRICKIN' BEAST

Butterfinger-Licking Good (If Just A Snackbar Too Long)

THIS IS MAKING ME HUNGRY!

Nothing sells like success -- or a whopping dose of humor.

To wit, this web ad by the Butterfinger Defense Team on behalf of the allegedly chocolate-coated peanut brittle candy bar.

I can do without the candy, but this campaign demands rewarding.

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April 21, 2010

CLOAKED OR DAGGERED

Iranian Cleric: Earthquakes Are Modern Women's Fault

IRANIAN CLERIC HOJATOLESLAM KAZEM SEDIGHI MUST NOT BE GETTING ENOUGH somethin' somethin' or else he experiences some of the earth's most powerful orgasms.

That hypothesis comes from hearing that Sedighi blames "immodestly" dressed women with increasing the likelihood of earthquakes in Iran.

"Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Sedighi reportedly said.

The cleric's words come two weeks after President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad predicted a quake will soon strike Tehran and suggested that 5 million of its 12 million residents should move. And, preferably, those reformists who think he stole last summer's election. (Kidding, he didn't actually say that, he just wished it.)

Iranian women are required to wear black robes but many of the country's young women skirt the law by wearing colorful scarves and showing their hair.

Maybe we should have a little sympathy for Sedighi: a man who thinks women are responsible for earthquakes must lead a life of fear.

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TIME'S UP

Your Meme Is Tiresome

IT WAS THE JUXAPOSITION OF A RANTING HILTER SEETHING OVER Michael Jackson's death or the 4G iPad leak or a foregone Burning Man festival that was supposed to be funny. Emphasis on the supposed.

Now, after more than 140 parodies of the movie Downfall have been mashed and fed to the masses, the studio responsible for the German film is claiming copyright infringement and forcing the removal from YouTube the videos that collectively make up the "Hitler finds out" meme. Thank God.

If you're in mourning over the passing of Hitler and all his incarnations, take solace in what Encyclopedia Dramatica says about them:

"In short, memes are just inside jokes for people who have no friends with whom to have real inside jokes."

And that includes dancing diapered babies, LOLcats, dancing hamsters and Rickrolling.

(Excepted: Keyboard cat and Charlie The Unicorn. Because there are alway exceptions to the rules.)

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April 20, 2010

EVERYTHING'S COMING UP...

Picking Flowers From Flickr's Gardens

IF SPRING IS A TWO-FACED FRIEND, then flowers are how she woos your unguarded heart. Just because, we picked some flowers from Flickr's gardens. Above is an exquisite Gerber daisy captured by the lens of Carolyn Gallo from Metro Detroit, MI. Click through to see more of the bouquet.

Read the full post here. 

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NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

Sext, Interrupted: After 18 Years, Results Of Sexxy Library Survey Revealed

CALL IT SEXT, INTERRUPTED.

Eighteen years after Will Manley published a sexxy questionnaire that got him fired from the Wilson Library Bulletin, the retired librarian has published his anti-climatic findings in an online column.

In 1992, Manley then a columnist for the Bulletin, drafted a questionnaire that asked librarians all sorts of personal questions such as how old they were when they first got laid, how many sex partners they had, and whether or not they though their libraries should carry Playboy.

But before he could compile the results, Manley was canned and the unsold copies of the magazine destroyed.

Read the full post here. 

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April 19, 2010

YOU CAN GO HOME AGAIN

Charles The Cat's Excellent Adventure Comes To A Happy End

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL THIS CAT TO QUIT PUSSYFOOTING AROUND!

A feline who hails by the name of Charles risked how many lives he has left after traveling to Chicago from Albuquerque, NM.

No one knows how the long-haired tabby made the 1,300-mile trek. But this much is known:

Read the full post here. 

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April 17, 2010

PERSONAL FORECAST

Traversing The Illustrated World Of Christopher Niemann

AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, I stumbled upon the artwork of Chistopher Niemann, whose personal weather forecast predicts how he'll be feeling come April 23rd.

Niemann is illustrator extraordinaire and a visual blogger for the New York Times. Isn't that just about the best job you ever heard of in your life? It's like being a kid in a candy store, and Niemann's work is just as delectable.

Read the full post here. 

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April 13, 2010

PREHISTORIC HORROR

Hideous Monster From The Bottom Of The Sea

DO YOU THINK THEY CALL THIS THE "JESSE JAMES" OF THE DEEP SEA?

This giant isopod or Bathynomus giganteus surfaces from the bottom of the ocean courtesy of Gwynzer on Reddit, by way of Gawker et al. Something left over from Xenu's visit 75 million years ago, no doubt.

The hipsters or fauxhemians" over at Gawker were tripping over their tongues about this one. Best lines?

"Like a window right into the Cretaceous."

Well, you have officially ruined the ocean for me."

"As we speak, Lady Gaga is already figuring out how to turn it into a hat."

Read the full post here. 

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March 30, 2010

A CONUNDRUM

Dating's Eternal Tango: Do You Play "The Game" Or Not?

"I TEXTED HIM TWICE IN A ROW,'' MY FRIEND LAMENTS, hunched over the pages of biology homework scattered across her bed.

"And what's worse, this fucking Blackberry made me separate the first text into two separate ones, so it looks like I texted him three times."

Neurotically, I do everything short of engaging in douchey text-vernacular to cram as much content as possible into one message. I hate looking down at my phone as it taunts me: "You texted twice with no response! Loo-zer!" But I don't tell my friend that.

I advise that she not over-analyze. I need to appear strong, to be a beacon of hope for her as we trek together through the dim, sordid sludge that is dating. And really, that trek boils down to one question: do you skip the bullshit and insist on candor, or do you play it cool and keep 'em guessing?

Regardless of your choice, you're left hoping for the best as the fate of the situation seems to rest placidly in your opponent's palm.

Read the full post here. 

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March 26, 2010

REVELATORY

Exposed: Kate Moss Strips Bare For Vogue

WE KNOW KATE MOSS AS THE SIREN IN DESIGNER CLOTHES, spread all over the fashions mags for the past 20 years.

But her new spread in Vogue Hommes International is not about clothes and fashion: it's about skinny dipping.

Kate's shown us before she's not shy about showing her body.But this time she goes all the way and shows off all she's got.

The provocative photo session takes place on an exotic beach, where she lets herself go au naturale in front of the camera of former beau and photographer Mario Sorrenti, "best-known for his spreads of nude models,'' so says Wikipedia.

Maybe Kate wants to prove that she still got it. Maybe she wants a big comeback after the loss of numerous contracts because of her wild night life and drug problem.

Like it or not, this is an improvement from recent headlines about her drunken ways. Let's hope she's on the right track!

Madi S. is mom to two kids and three cats. She loves pop culture news, movies, fashion, travel, reading and observing the world.

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March 24, 2010

YOUR SHOES ARE SINGING

The Perfect Puddle Jumpers

YOU'LL BE SKIPPING THROUGH FOR SPRING SHOWERS IF YOU OWN A PAIR OF THESE WATERPROOF BOOTS.

Clockwise from top left:

Kamik Women's Janis Rain Boot. Available at Amazon for $59.95.

Hunter Original Gloss. At Zappos for $115.

Kamik Women's Wales Rain Boot. At Nordstrom for $64.95.

Aquatalia by Marvin K Giggle Boot. On sale at Zappos for $187.13.

Even better: Aquatalia by Marvin K's Vault Patent Leather boots for an off-putting $398. The rich are indeed different.

Happy skipping!

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March 23, 2010

STAR STRUCK

In The Gravitational Pull Of Star Astrologer Susan Miller

INSIDE A SMALL MEETING ROOM AT CHICAGO'S DRAKE HOTEL, ASTROLOGER SUSAN MILLER is the figurative sun whose gravity pulls rapt attention from about three dozen acolytes.

Ms. Miller, who pens the monthly astrology column for the fashion mag Elle as well as her famously popular website Astrologyzone.com, is in town to give the year's forecast to well-heeled stargazers who each pay $225 for the privilege. [As an ersatz member of press, I succeed at crashing the party for the price of lunch and coffee --$70.]

And, just like the sun, Ms. Miller is a mass of energy throwing light from the center of the room. Petite and raven-haired, she wears a simple navy dress, black sweater and eye-catching blue rhinestone necklace by Coach. And when she talks, which she does in a melodic rat-a-tat-tat, she punctuates her sentences with laughter.

On this day, Sunday, March 21st, she begins her seminar by reminding those in attendance that "astrology is not destiny" but that "astrology helps you, it helps you so much."

Read the full post here. 

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March 22, 2010

FAR OUT

WHAT GOD AND BEYONCÉ HAVE WROUGHT TOGETHER.

Via Nickzed.tumblr.com via thedailywh.at.

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March 17, 2010

OUT OF TOUCH

Read My Lipstick: "This Is Stupid"

OH, THE LENGTHS WOMEN WILL GO TO PROVOKE FOREPLAY.

A California company sells lipstick that purportedly changes color when the wearer's feeling randy.

The Mood Swing Emotionally Activated Lip Gloss goes for $18.50 a tube and is sold with a color chart so would-be paramours can gauge the best moment to make their play. Natch.

I can't figure out who'd buy this other than girls who are really, really unsure of themselves. Or, in the alternative best case scenario, those who like to play bedroom guessing games with their beaus.

"This is the ultimate date ice-breaker," Dating Expert Lorraine Adams told the U.K.'s Sun, who acknowledges, "Using it every day could get embarrassing. Would you really want the man on the bus to know if you'e turned on?"

Read my lips: dumb.

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MAY THE CENTRIFUGAL FORCE BE WITH YOU

India's Diamond Maruti Car Circus

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CRAZY? Here's thrillseeking Indian-style, in lieu of snowboarding, carnival rides and luging. People are nuts.

Via Gawker via Uncle Billy Unctator.

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March 16, 2010

WIPE OUT

The Riddle Of The Dinosaurs Solved 65 Million Years Later, Maybe

IT'S OFFICIAL: AN ASTEROID REALLY DID LEAD TO THE DEMISE OF DINOSAURS and possibly created the conditions that allowed humans to evolve.

After a 20 year review of literature, a team of international scientists has concluded that a massive asteroid that hit Mexico triggered a calamity that decimated Earth's living creatures.

"These terrifying events led to darkness and a global winter, resulting in the extinction of more than 70 percent of known species,'' wrote Dr. Penny Barton, who coauthored the review. "The tiny shrew-like mammals which were around at that time proved better adapted to survival than the cumbersome dinosaurs, and the removal of these dominant animals paved the way for the radiation of the mammals and eventual emergence of humans on Earth."

Read the full post here. 

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March 07, 2010

BAKED IN MEMORIES

Finally Filled Up On Easy Bake Ovens

THERE'S A BIT OF DISCREPANCY BETWEEN MY MOM, BROTHER AND MYSELF regarding an Easy Bake oven that they insist I had, and that I insist I didn't.

My brother even remembers exactly where it was in the basement: between the Lincoln Logs and the Spirograph. But I always remember having to go to a friend's house in order to play with one. Valerie had the first model, the beautiful aqua blue one, and I LOVED it.

This has led to a long time yearning for the coveted object.

Read the full post here. 

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March 03, 2010

I CALLS 'EM AS I SEE 'EM

People By Their Favorite Blog

STEREOTYPING IS ONLY ALLOWED ON THE INTERNET. Do not try this at home!

Perez Hilton
High schoolers who use Proactive.

TMZ
Trolls.

BuzzFeed
Frat boys who went to state colleges.

Salon
Voters who donate only to presidential candidates.

Gawker
Smart kids who ranked in the middle of their class.

Read the full post here. 

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March 02, 2010

HAPPY HOME

Are We Happy Yet?

SMILEY FACES PEER OUT THE WINDOWS of a Chicago home, brightening an overcast day.

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February 28, 2010

EYES WIDE SHUT

Only The Most Inhumane Argue Tilikum Belongs In Captivity

JUST DAYS AFTER SCIENTISTS WHO REFUSE TO STUDY DOLPHINS IN CAPTIVITY argued that those marine animals should be deemed "nonhuman persons," a six-ton Orca confined in tanks at Florida's SeaWorld killed a human for the third time.

It was just last Sunday at the annual American Association for the Advancement of Science conference that scientists debated whether dolphins deserve special rights because of their human-like qualities.

"Dolphins appear to be self-conscious, unique individuals with distinctive personalities, memories and a sense of self, who are vulnerable to a wide range of physical and emotional pain and harm, and who have the power to reflect upon and choose their actions," Thomas I. White of the Oxford Centre for Animal Ethics reportedly told the crowd.

The proof? Researchers have found in studies that dolphins whose bodies were "marked" quickly swam to observe their reflections in a mirror. Because these experiences verified self-awareness, these same scientists have vowed not to study dolphins in captivity because they believe it's cruel.

Read the full post here. 

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February 26, 2010

THE WAVE

Any Way You Look At It, This Half Glass House Is Full Of Wit & Style

IS THIS HALF GLASS HOUSE EMPTY OR FULL? I suspect sold out.

If all glass houses looked like this, I'd be happy to live in one. This 140-apartment Denmark development by Henning Larsen Architects is called Wave Residences/Bolgen and is situated along the shores of Vejle Fjord. The development, completed in 2009, was deemed the "most spectacular residential building of 2009 by the professional trade magazine Building."

Without seeing any of its competitors, we'll buy that.

It's like how I want my life to be: light, bright, clean, modern, transparent and forward-thinking.

Where's the papers? I'm ready to sign on the dotted line.

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AN ACCIDENT

Frozen Lives Exposed

“

What had any of them ever had to blush for in all their frozen lives?

” The Pretext by Edith Wharton

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February 23, 2010

TAKING CHARGE

British Moms Fess To Getting Sexual Raise During Financial Downturn

GASP! British mums are getting freaky in bed!

A recent study of 4,200 women conducted by an English parenting website yielded interesting results. Fox News, in all its balanced fairness, topped an article chronicling the study with a headline that basically warns Caution! Women Gettin' Kinky 'n' Becomin' Porn Addicts!

The survey's most heartening revelation? That while last year's survey revealed more than half of these women were sexually unsatisfied, this year more than 60 percent "claimed"* to be fulfilled in the boudoir. The hypothesis?

Read the full post here. 

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February 19, 2010

FOR BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Trinkets For The Twitter Obsessed

COMMUNICATION HAPPENS IN LESS THAN 140 CHARACTERS.

For the biggest twits among us, there's these handmade novelties listed by artisans on Etsy.

Choose from the come-hither stalk me stockings ($18), a "tweet" necklace appropriately made in plastic ($13), or the world's smallest diary for errant thoughts ($5.5).

Makes the perfect gift for the Twitteratti, obsessed fans of celebrity tweeters, and self-important social networkers.

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February 18, 2010

HO HUM HEART

No Hallmarks For Homos? Oh, Well, Happy V-Day To You

I'M NOT A SENTIMENTALIST. I've long had a distaste for Valentine's Day. I mean, what kind of sick puppies name a day about love "VD?"

If you want to apply pop psychology, it's because I've never had someone to share this day with. But for the first time in my 22 years, I'm actually involved with someone this Valentine's Day.

So why do I find myself still hating it? Maybe because I'm not really invited to the lovefest.

Even though I'm an openly gay male in a committed relationship with a wonderful man, I can't call Valentine's Day my own. As far as I can tell, there's no effort to acknowledge the gay community on this manufactured holiday; there's no love Hallmarks for the homos.

Read the full post here. 

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February 14, 2010

FOREVER YOUNG AT HEART

Facebookers Cooking Up Campaign For Betty White To Host SNL

I LOVE BETTY WHITE AND HAVE FOR A LONG, LONG TIME. My favorite of her characters was Sue Ann Nivens on the Mary Tyler Moore, show but she can do anything.

She's just turned 88 years old and is still a trouper as you could see from her recent Super Bowl ad.

Now there's a Facebook movement to get Saturday Night Live to have her host.

Read the full post here. 

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February 10, 2010

DOCUMENTED

An Original La Dolce Vita Paparazzo Passes

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL has an obit tucked inside today's pages on Felice Quinto, 80, interloper to the stars.

Quinto, who died in January, was a paparazzo before the word was even coined by director Federico Fellini in the 1960 film La Dolce Vita.

Born in Italy, Quinto sped through Rome's streets via moped during the 50s snapping pics of European jetsetters and royalty. Once he so angered celebrity Anita Ekberg by following her home that she shot him with an arrow.

Read the full post here. 

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February 09, 2010

PROOF YOU CAN HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY

Giacometti's Nihilist Monument Shatters Art Auction Record

THE TALL, GAUNT "WALKING MAN" was conceived as part of a series of bronze figures commissioned to stand outside the Chase Manhattan Bank in New York City's financial district.

Fifty years later, the haunted-looking figure sculpted by Swiss artist Giovanni Giacometti has sold for $104.3 million dollars, the highest sum ever paid for a work of art at auction.

Read the full post here. 

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February 04, 2010

PERSPECTIVE

The Long View From Dubai

FILMMAKER PHILLIP BLOOM posted on Vimeo this timelapsed film that he recently shot in Dubai over five days and nights. Much of it was shot from inside the Atlantis Hotel on the Palm Jumeirah.

The photography is striking and evocative and unsettling. And it reveals in flashes what so many of us shut our eyes to every day: we're all just specks of dust. Specks with souls, mind you, but specks nonetheless.

There are things bigger than us humans. Time, for one.

Bloom dedicates his beautiful film to the daughter of a friend who died recently "at a tragically young age." I can't help thinking: Don't we all?

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January 28, 2010

EEKING OUT FABULOSITY

Some Real Housewives Appear Desperate For Cash

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES SEEM TO BE TURNING DESPERATE.

Atlanta's Kim Zolciak has opened an eBay store she's calling Kim Z Couture Closet.

The shop's header features photos of Kim with the blingingest diamond-studded logo you've ever seen. For a mere $5K you can place your opening bid on Dolce & Gabana black dress detailed with diamonds. Or opt for a never-worn pink Christian Dior gown that is exactly like the one Cameron Diaz wore to the Academy Awards.

Read the full post here. 

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January 27, 2010

BUTT OUT

Smoke Free Movies Is Missing The Big Picture

AVATAR IS BREAKING BOX OFFICE RECORDS and receiving critical acclaim as it cleans in the early awards season. But with success comes controversy. While many people are debating the movie's "real" message -- is it racist? against religion? pro-socialist? -- the anti-smoking lobby fumes about Sigourney Weaver's character's nasty little habit.

Contending that onscreen smoking negatively influences children, the organization Smoke Free Movies bought two full-page ads in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter excoriating the industry for giving the tobacco industry free advertising in James Cameron's blockbuster.

The group contends on its website that that "390,000 kids recruited to smoke each year by the smoking they see on screen are worth $4 billion in lifetime sales to the tobacco companies."

While I'm not a smoker and am no fan of the habit, my personal opinion is smoking can serve a very direct purpose in a movie.

What if smoking is crucial to a story's character? What if the cancer sticks are integral to a film's period?

Read the full post here. 

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THE GREATEST SHOW ON ICE

It's Official: Johnny Weir's A Little Monster

OOOH LOOKIE! REALITY TV STAR AND SKATING CHAMP JOHNNY WEIRD is one of Lady Gaga's little monsters.

Actually, it's Weir, but you just know he's spent his whole life with that 'd' appendage. Maybe that's why he identifies with the Lady G, who is rumored to have an extra accessory of her own. The Olympic skater even sat next to Stefani's mom at a recent concert in New York City.

Chalk up another gay for GaGa, despite what Johnny will or won't say.

But he doesn't have to say much when Be Good Johnny Weir, airing Mondays at 10:30pm (Eastern) on Sundance, shows the skating queen bubble-bathing and lolling in bed with his ''best friend" Paris.

Read the full post here. 

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January 26, 2010

ART FOR ART'S SAKE

Bottling Nature

NEW YORK ARTIST NAOKO ITO imprisons nature in a jar.

The artist cuts a tree branch, put the pieces into glass jars and then reconfigures them in the limb's shape.

This piece is titled Ubiquitous and is part of her series called Urban Nature 2009. Our question: in a showdown between city and nature, which wins? Let's ask the branch.

Via Neatorama by way of Buzzfeed.

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January 18, 2010

SEX SELLS

University of Chicago Hits Students' G Spot With Admissions Essay

SO IT'S OFFICIAL: THE IDEA OF BEING FILLED UP "WITH THAT GOOEY SAP YOU FEEL LATE AT NIGHT" RESONATES WITH INCOMING COLLEGE FRESHMEN.

Just weeks after catching the media spotlight for sending out a sexually suggestive admissions essay as an example to applicants, the University of Chicago is reporting a whopping 42 percent increase in applications for next fall.

While news reports attribute the jump to "everything from more far-flung outreach to publicity that comes with having President Barack Obama as a former faculty member," we're giving the credit to the new Admissions Dean James G. Nondorf for finding students' G spot.

In December, the school's admissions department sent out to prospective students an essay by someone named "Rohan" who took the approach of wooing an elusive love interest.

"Dear University of Chicago, It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you," the essay opened.

"Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple 'applicant' to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world?'

The New York Times and the website Gawker reported on parents and students' reactions to the essay found at College Confidential.

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January 14, 2010

TOUGH LOVE

France's Moves To Punish Mental Abuse In Marriage But Who Defines It?

WITHIN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS, marriage in France is set to become a much more docile affair. The French government is attempting with a new law to decrease the harmful psychological effects of yelling within marriage.

The law will cover any type of rude behavior toward one's spouse including "repeated rude remarks about a partner's appearance, false allegations of infidelity and threats of physical violence." A warning would be given for a person's first documented decibels, with jail being the final repercussion.

There are many critics of the new law both here and in France. While well-intentioned, I find it to be both humorously offensive and ineffective. Who is to say when a conversation stops being a discussion and becomes an assault? Everyone within a marriage interprets things in their own way. If my husband tells me to "Shut Up!," and I then call him a dork, are we arguing or being playful?

Read the full post here. 

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January 08, 2010

NICE ICE, BABY

The Singular Charms Of Snowmen

THE CHICAGO FORECAST IS CALLING FOR SNOW, too late for a white Christmas. We'll have to find cold comfort with the charms of snowmen.

For most of us, practicing this "installation art" is good clean fun. But to illustrator Bob Eckstein, it's a calling.

Eckstein, whose drawings regularly appear in The New Yorker and on Salon, is a self-appointed "snowman expert." He is author and illustrator of The History of the Snowman (2007), touted as "a thoroughly entertaining exploration… [of] the snowman's enigmatic past."

Bob's seven-year quest for knowledge about the cold & downy characters led him to museums and libraries around the world. Now keeps a blog where he answers readers' queries.

Above are just a few of the more than 1,000 antique snowmen collectibles, photographs and artwork he now owns. You can check out more here.

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January 07, 2010

YOU DECIDE

What's Your Pleasure Principle: Now Or Later? A Study That Purports To Answer That

I CONFESS: I'VE LIVED IN CHICAGO FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE TOP OF THE SEARS TOWER.

I've waited so long to visit this local landmark that its name has changed.

Thank God, too, because without this anecdote I wouldn't be able to relate at all to a New York Times' piece about "seizing today… tomorrow."

Journalist John Tierney explores a recent study on the "procrastination of enjoyable experiences" by two California marketing academics.

Their conclusion? People defer positive experiences because of the false expectation that they'll have more time in the future. And, for some, the prospect of future joy is more rewarding than the actual reward itself.

"People can become overly focused on an ideal," UCLA's Dr. Suzanne B. Shu told the Times.

Read the full post here. 

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December 31, 2009

CHEAP THRILL

News 'Flash': Tinsel Sales Sparkle During Grim Financial Year

MY PERSONAL MOTTO IS ''Everything Goes Better With Glitter." Weird but true.

I have seen how tiny shards of color sprinkled over the grimmest day can making everything all sparkly and beautiful.

So perhaps I was among the few not surprised to read that tinsel sales are way up this year, according to the Wall Street Journal.

The story is filled with nonessential facts like tinsel "works on all 35 different species of Christmas trees." And a Philadelphia manufacturer was once known as the "The King of Tinsel." And the word tinsel derives from the French word estincele, meaning sparkle. Fun empty facts.

As a former journalist, I should probably look askanced at the Journal spending precious reporting hours on such filler. But, hey, it's a new day. No one cares anymore about making things better! No one has any hope for change! Let's just throw a party! I'll provide the tinsel!

It's practically a metaphor for America: cheap, shiny and sticks to everything.

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December 24, 2009

VICTIM OF LOVE

Falling For Apple's iPhone's Propaganda

I'M A LITTLE TICKED OFF AT CNET'S CHRIS MATYSZCZYK FOR FORCING ME TO CONFRONT MY MENTAL LAPSES.

Matyszczyk blogged a few days ago about a study revealing Apple's iPhone customers to be "delusional" about the product's value.

The Strand Consult study's title? "How will psychologists describe the iPhone syndrome in the future?"

WTF, dudes? Why you gotta be so inyourface rude? Why you gotta blow the one good idea I had for my hubby's Christmas present?

Read the full post here. 

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December 16, 2009

WINTER WHIMSY

Have Yourself A Very Merry Kitschmas

IF, WHEN YOU SAY YOU WANT A WHITE CHRISTMAS YOU MEAN SNOW, I'LL TAKE IT.

But Christmas trees adorned with white lights? Mantels with white candles? Blah humbug!

In my house, Christmas kitsch is a requirement. There's no more fun way to deck the halls than with whimsical (cheesy?) vintage decorations.

Here's some vintage or vintage-inspired finds from around the web.

Read the full post here. 

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NOSTALGIA SETS IN

Getting Misty-Eyed Over Dave Eggers' Newspaper Experiment

I'm a little queasy because what of I'm about to do: I'm fanwhoring.

This web isn't called Crabby Golightly for nothing. DNA prevents me from displaying blithe optimism even though I desperately want to believe in something.

Yet every day another celebrity, another public figure is revealed to be scuzzier than the public could conceive.

Everybody's self-serving. Nobody means what they say anymore. Nobody says what they mean. The art of deception is a six-figure job that shrinks the souls but boosts the bottom line.

I'm rambling so let me get to my point:

I found a new hero!

Literary wonderboy Dave Eggers has published a newspaper! Oh where's the fucking xanax my heart be still!

Read the full post here. 

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December 09, 2009

MASTER OF HIS DOMAIN

This Cat Looks Pretty Fucking Smart To Me

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE SIMPLE SENTENCED BLOGS LIKE My Parents Were Awesome or My Dog Has A Blog or The Boss Is Evil. Only this one's focuses on the web's favorite meme -- cats.

Personally I think the cat lording high above would attack if he knew he was being maligned on My Cat Is Retarded. He looks pretty hep to us.

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December 08, 2009

WARPED

Vince Vaughn: Time Traveler's Crush

VVINCE VAUGHN AND KYLA WEBER SPLIT!

Well, maybe not yet. But soon. As soon as Vince curls up in his Snuggie with a cup of hot cocoa and this new book proposal floating around called A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn.

It's the kind of life-changing read that Vince will soon be sucked into -- like quicksand -- forcing him to abandon his life-plans to pursue his true destiny.

Los Angeles dog-walker Edie Cortese, 39, describes her screenplay pitch in a recent interview.

"The manuscript is a fictionalized version of what transpired over six months or so in my walking in front of Vince's house everyday with the dogs and dreaming of him… and how I could meet him… and get his attention and hang."

Right there -- very difficult for Vince to resist Edie Cortese. But then: the love dart.

Read the full post here. 

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November 28, 2009

TIES MAKE THE MAN

David Hart: Mad Man, Designer, Historian, Spy

NECKTIE DESIGNER DAVID HART surely qualifies as "hipster," and I mean that in the nicest way.

His ties, sold exclusively at Bergdorf Goodman, aren't the sole evidence.

He doubles as The Invisible Man, quietly chronicling the American Way as is used to be.

HIs website is chock-a-block full of pics recording our obsession with space, the Beatles, mid-century design and graphics.

From one hipster to another, you must check it out.

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November 24, 2009

WISE BUYS

Hootin Tootin' Fun Finds On Etsy

SUZE ORMAN IS ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT PUTTING MONEY BEFORE THINGS, but I am a sucker for silly or pretty one-of-a-kind whimsy at any price.

And so I only wish that I had the $235 to blow on this fuzzy blue owl who was featured in
Stuffed magazine.

I don't know what I'd do with him other than stare at his fluffy blue fur and ponderous eyes while he collected dust. But he would be mine, all mine! And I'd be another $235 in the hole, crap.

Ditto for the owl wedding topper ($40), the owl change purse ($19.50), the owl belt buckle ($38), not to mention the dozens of other treasures I coveted after perusing 500 pages of owl stuff on Etsy! I must have been out of mind; but in my defense, there were another 800 pages I passed on.

If you are a spendthrift and have the need to buy pretty things, don't bother doing it anywhere else but on Etsy, one of the best designed sites on the web catering to crafty hipsters creating art or reviving old treasures.

So many beautiful things to buy. Sigh.