First, Zolciak conned her daughter’s guitar teacher out of a song he’d written that, once pumped up, turned out to be something of a pop culture phenomenon. For a New York minute the catchy ditty Tardy for the Party had everyone and their mommas rocking. Not to mention how the gays loved it: So much she that she managed to croon out The Ring Didn't Mean A Thing and then Google Me before they crashed and burned. Kim didn’t care, she’d moved on to snagging a footballer and having his baby.

Then LuAnn de Lessup, New York's "Countess,” decided her voice should also be heard. She recorded the manners lesson, Money Can’t Buy You Class,” followed by the ultra-chic “ Chic C’est La Vie." The ode to luxury was accompanied by a luxe music video with her besties Jill Zarin and Kelly Besimon.

And right before she ran off with that Journey guy, Michaele Salahi put on a tiny dress and pranced onstage to badly lip-sync Bump It,” another catchy beat that never caught on. Even the reviled Danielle Staub tried to extend her 15 minutes by picking up the mike during her lesbian phase. In collaboration with her lover, singer Lori Michaels, Danielle butchered Close to You. Take your dogs out of the room before playing. This song is not to be confused with her other song, a duet with Lori (a real musician and very tolerant girlfriend) entitled Real Close.

I won’t bother to inflict the musical antics of pseudo Housewife Simon VanKampen’s on you. Oh, what the heck,

Here's Michaele Salahi trying to be the hottest girl in the room. Does she succeed?