You see, you were a tool for the painted Kim, an arc in her storyline, a forward-moving plot point, a physically-acceptable sperm donor. What you weren't was real.

You weren't entitled to feelings because you were intended as an accessory on the set. You were expected to sit to the side, walk four steps behind, and carry Kim's boxes to the car. Your mistake was having opinions and saying them out loud. You also entered the marriage assuming that you'd have 50 percent of the power, but with a net worth of $8 compared to Kim's $3e5 million, your juice was low.

Feel bad for a little while but not too long. Because anybody who married Kris Kardashian while she starred in a TV show would suffer the same fate. Especially someone with the bollocks to remind her that she was a mere shopgirl in the Valley just a few years back. And who had the cluelessness to tell her that "by the time you have kids and they're in school no one will care about you."

Kim has leveraged her pretty face and her buxom butt into a payday. But her life isn't her own; it belongs to E! and her mother and her sponsors and woe unto you for dreaming of a life offscreen.

You deserve better, Kris. And by that I mean, 'real.' It was doomed from the start.