After skipping out on almost every one of her community service gigs at a local women’s shelter, LA Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner said: "She is supposed to be an actress from what I hear. I don't know how much acting work she's done or is doing." And Lohan, before you open up that rotten mouth of yours in defense, remember: faking orgasms for wrinkly old billionaires doesn’t count as “acting.” Oh, and the best part of this whole thing? The judge reassigned Lindsay to do the rest of her community service in a morgue. TMZ reports Lilo will be "cleaning tables where the autopsies are performed, and various body parts and fluids often remain for disposal after the body is removed." Oh, yes, the judge went there.

Oooh! You guys, it’s a little nugget of goodness in the middle of our Whack Wednesday —Gwen Stefani is designing a kids’ line for Target. While some of the styles are way out there, if I had my own little brat, he or she would be effin' STYLIN’ in some of this stuff. In fact, as a wise investment in the future, I may have to get over there on Nov. 13 and throw some bows for a few of these pieces. Stand back if you’re smart.

Anybody watching E’s Fashion Police? Because I’m such a catty bitch, I can’t help but cackle alongside Joan Rivers as she points and laughs at celebrities’ terrible outfits. Unfortunately, for some reason, she decided to give Kelly Osborne the privilege over yours truly. But my DVR dug up a few gems this month in return for my being the bigger person (pun intended). Kelly just can’t get over her “feud” with Christina Aguilera — I swear to God this thing is older than her father Ozzy’s Oxy addiction. Poking fun at Aguilera’s ensemble, which emphasized her recent weight gain in the most unflattering way, Osborne sniped, and sniped, and sniped. To which I’m sure Aguilera rolled over, brushed the empty gallon bottles of Gordon’s vodka off the bed and said, “Kelly WHO?”

Miz J has an attitude. Deal with it. Check out her NSFW comedy podcast, I SAID IT, on iTunes or follow her on Facebook or on Twitter @askmizj.