She commiserates with Kim, saying they’re probably the poorest and she really hates how rich Adrienne is. Well, she kinda said that.

She tells Kim she’s sorry they haven’t gotten along in the past as we see a flashback of Taylor telling Kim she’s going to go “all Oklahoma on her ass” and then asks her forgiveness. Kyle pops up as Taylor is telling Kim that she acted like such such an asshole. When Kim agrees, all three bust out laughing.

I want a cook. There are two cooks and Camille’s assistant, bustling around the enormous kitchen. And suddenly we see Taylor sitting in Kyle’s suitcase, pouting and acting silly (or drunk or just whack). They try to get her ready for dinner. Kyle keeps running after Taylor, wondering if her strange behavior is because she’s too skinny, and that that and the high altitude is the cause of Taylor bugging out. Adrienne tells us it wasn’t as funny as it seems, she calls it intense. Hard-nosed Adrienne is not for the funny stuff.

This is definitely Taylor's episode. Somebody has to bring the drama on these girls’ trips. Now she’s crying in Lisa’s arms that her makeup bag is gone and then she’s telling Lisa not to fuck with her. Then, it’s Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Everyone’s saying her name at once. They don’t seem to believe her mood is all because of the missing makeup bag. Lisa calls her behavior irrational. Taylor’s walking around all limp-haired and pissed one minute and sobbing the next. What the hell is going on with this chick? Adrienne tells the girls’ Taylor’s having a nervous breakdown.

When Camille finally wakes from her nap she realizes all hell has broken loose in her house as everyone runs around tending the crazy. Lisa fills her in, telling her that Taylor is acting bizarre, Camille blames it on drinking and the altitude too. She tells us that she hopes it won’t be another dinner party from hell.

During dinner, Adrienne whispers to Taylor that she’s having nervous breakdown. Can you imagine someone whispering that to you? Ha. She tells us that Taylor doesn’t look like she’s in the moment, she’s all glassy-eyed and weird. Her BFF Kyle meanwhile is all, hey, we’re on vacation, lighten up. Kyle… always so sympathetic. Taylor’s sobbing again. Kim and Lisa bicker about what’s wrong, then everyone at the table starts psychoanalyzing Taylor’s problems. When the chef comes out to describe the meal everyone looks like they really don’t want to hear it. They were having too much fun telling Taylor that she, and her relationship, are probably fucked.

Meanwhile, back in BH, Mauricio, Paul and Ken have drinks and cigars in a lounge. Mauricio is jealous that Kyle’s skiing in Beaver Creek. Paul tells the group that Russell was invited to join them but is out of town on business. The men begin gossiping about the Armstrongs' relationship. They think it’s going nowhere as well. Ken again says he doesn’t believe in therapy, but that’s him. He says he likes Taylor and is truly sorry she got hurt by his comment at dinner. They toast to the ladies having a good time. But I bet they know that Camille’s house is probably a big ball of confusion as they drink.

Taylor tells the ladies Russell doesn’t cheat on her, she’s adamant about that. Adrienne says there are rumors around town that Russell treats Taylor badly but she's never seen it herself. All the while Taylor looks like a strung out crack addict. They tell her she’s not a failure if her marriage doesn’t work out; that two happy homes are better than one bad home. When Taylor whines, “but I looooooooooooooove him," she’s asked if it’s that or is it that she doesn’t want to be alone. At this, Kim is ready to change the subject and get to a happier place so she flings her napkin like a revival preacher and says “bang” at Taylor to snap her out of her troubles. Then she “bangs” everyone to try to dispel the tension and make them all laugh. It works. When dinner’s over, everyone hugs.

Kim tells us Taylor had that ”remorseful, what did I do, what did I say” feeling when she left Camille’s. Wondering if maybe she exposed too much of her soul to women whom she’s not really sure care at all. Adrienne says it was bad for Taylor, that she felt bad for Taylor. She and Kyle say Taylor is way too thin (she's skeletal) and it makes her lip implants look huge. I said that last part. They all know she has a lot going on. A lot going on. I think this season may be the drinking phrase. DRINK. Oh, yes, we know now how much was going on. I wonder if the “gay” rumors will come up.

Camille and her friend DD sit by a waterfall in Camille's back yard and talk about how hard it is going to be to give up that house. DD asks her if you take away all the bells and whistles of her life what would she have. She begins by saying she didn’t like being humiliated in public but, oh well, she’s free of that asshole now. Camille tells DD about Taylor’s breakdown and that she advised her to just do what’s best for her and her daughter. Camille tells us again that she didn’t get the opportunity for therapy with that hairy back asshole Kelsey.

Kyle is reluctant to tell her husband what happened in Colorado, but, with just a little prodding, spills all. She tells him about “The breakdown” and Taylor's strange behavior and that even though it was a crazy situation, at least Kim kept it together. There’s another flashback to the limo fight, with Kim screaming at Kyle that she bought her her goddamn house. I guess that’s a sore subject for Mauricio because he’s pissed at Kim. When she said that to the world, I guess it made him feel less than a man. But, Mauricio, you’re so handsome and rugged, I could never believe that of you, kiss kiss. He says that unless Kim gets help it’s gonna take a while for them to be right again.

Lisa is looking to expand her restaurant, Sur, and she and Ken examine the available property next door. I don’t who the guy with them is but he looks a little like George Clooney. Ken seems concerned about the costs. Lisa says it’s a challenge. They even ask Giggy what he thinks. He yaps.

Adrienne's family owns the Sacramento Kings basketball team, and they're considering moving the team. The fans, of course, aren’t in agreement. Security thinks the family shouldn’t appear in their normal suite for fear fans may do something to show their displeasure, like throw drinks at them. Here is another occasion for Adrienne and Paul to bicker. Paul thinks she’s crazy to want to go but it's the last game of the season and Adrienne is determined to see it. In person. With his bodyguard standing to one side and looking very uncomfortable they go back and forth, back and forth. Adrienne says this is her business and she’s taking care of it. Paul says it’s not worth the risk as Adrienne walks out the door.

Taylor’s life coach visits. She tells us the coach is helping her find her voice. OK. She tells the coach that she thinks she had a panic attack in Colorado. She relates the story of her bizarre behavior and how all the ladies were giving her different pieces of advice and how it drove her mad until she lost it. Taylor tells us she never should have said anything to anyone about her marriage because it’s just made her more confused. Her coach coaches, tells her she’s doing well. She’s wrong.

Adrienne and Paul continue their bickering in the limo to the airport. He still feels they will be heckled and maybe even attacked. Adrienne says let’s just face it head on. It seems she’s invited Kim along. Yeah, bring along the most unstable person when there’s a risk people may boo, attack or throw things at you. This should be a fun game.

Without the tension and awkwardness Russell used to bring, I think I’m feeling a bit bored with this crew.

We’re at Kyle’s for a minute while she cleans up dog poop by the pool. Fun! Find the poop -- scoop, scoop scoop. Her adorable little Porshia is helping. She’s so cute, she looks just like Mauricio.

Kim’s not at the airport when Adrienne arrives. When she calls Kim, she doesn’t seem to know who she is, and keeps asking “who is this?" It’s Adrienne. "Who?" Paul and Adrienne. "I don’t have time for this, who is this?”

The couple look incredulous. When Kim finally recognizes them she starts rambling about how she feels horrible, just terrible and she’s leaving now and she keep apologizing and just rambling about how her hair is wet and she was going to come in a wet ponytail but she doesn’t know the Sacramento Kings so, I’m sorry. Adrienne tries to tell Paul that Kim’s been sick but Paul says she was drunk. The private jet will wait but the fans and the game will not.

On a different note, the folks at Bravo must be reading this blog because I read in the HuffPo that new-this-season New York Housewife Cindy Barshop did indeed also get chopped from the slugfest. Sonja and I are very happy. As the article says, it will be a really different season next year for New York. Of course, Alex and Jill are going wah, wah. Jill probably could care less since Bobby has her back, but I’m not sure Alex or Simon really have any other jobs right now.

Too bad, so sad.