TRUTH TORPEDOED

There Will Be Blood: Charlie Sheen Bowed But Not Broken After Roast

GETTING EVISCERATED BY CRUEL WITS HAS HAD A REVELATORY EFFECT ON CHARLIE SHEEN.

During last weekend's roast taped by Comedy Central, comic Hollywood launched its own own torpedo of truth at the notorious party boy with a penchant for porn and rough play with women. No topic was taboo.

"It's amazing," joked actress Kate Walsh from Grey's Anatomy. "Despite all those years of abusing your lungs, your kidneys and your liver, the only thing you've had removed is your kids."

The result seemed to have a purifying effect on TV's formerly highest paid actor.

"Wow, what a night," Sheen said at the end of the skewering inside Sony Studios in Culver City, California. "Until tonight, I never realised how fucked up I was. All this time I thought I was just having fun."

"The thing is once again, I come out unscathed. You can't hurt me. Hell, I can't even hurt me. Drugs couldn't kill me. Sex couldn't kill me. The press couldn't kill me. Two and a Half Men couldn't kill me. Did you really think your little jokes were going to kill me? I'm done with the winning cause I've already won. This roast may be over, but I'm Charlie Sheen. In here burns an internal fire. I just have to remember to keep it away from a crack pipe."

No doubt Charlie went home relieved because, as it turns out, there was an even bigger jackass in the room. Certifiable kook Steve-O broke his nose after repeatedly slamming his face into Mike Tyson's hand.

"Tonight I asked Mike Tyson for a black eye and I wound up with two black eyes and a broken nose,'' the Jackass star tweeted. "Thanks so much, Brother! @MikeTyson."

The Comedy Central special will broadcast Sept. 19 immediately after CBS' debuts the revamped Two and A Half Men with Ashton Kutcher. The Los Angeles Times is reporting that the buzz on the show is that it's "raw" and "hilarious." But of course.

Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen