I wonder how many hours Madonna and perpetually suffering spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg took to come up with this whizzbang response to the criticism that she went all diva on some obviously green journalist who presented her with God's gift to English gardens, the hydrangea. (Wait -- is that the reason she she hates them so? Too many memories of living in London with Guy?)

The pop star spoofs her public embarrassment in the above video in which she comes off as a classic abuser -- all sorry one minute and physically attacking the next.

The video shows the same level of emotional nuance that all Madonna films have historically shown. So save your money on W.E. and watch her work for free above!

It's almost time for Madge's cameo on DWTS, yes?