There Oughta Be A Law: Cow That Escapes Slaughterhouse Should Get Permanent Reprieve
THE RISE

There Oughta Be A Law: Cow That Escapes Slaughterhouse Should Get Permanent Reprieve
I JUST MADE UP THIS NEW FEATURE IN WHICH we suggest laws through which our emotionally and spiritually bereft lawmakers can redeem themselves in sad eyes. And our first suggestion: anytime a cow consciously and wilfully escapes a slaughterhouse said cow should be immediately and forever granted reprieve from the death chamber.
Cows escaping slaughterhouses so often that it's on the verge of becoming a meme. Now add another cow to the list of great bovine liberators. Yesterday a cow temporarily escaped a Queens, N.Y. slaughterhouse and fled -- no joke -- down Liberty Avenue. But as we all know liberty is fleeting, and the beast was recaptured on the York College campus of the City University of New York. No doubt he's already had his skin stripped from him and been chopped, sliced and diced for your dining pleasure.
There have been other, happier endings to tales of great bovine escapes, the most amazing one about Molly the heifer who jumped a fence at Mickey’s Packing Plant in Great Falls, Mont., then "dodged vehicles, ran in front of a train, braved the icy Missouri River and took three tranquilizer darts before being recaptured."
It seems only right that any cow that is savvy or lucky enough to slip from the butcher's pen even temporarily deserves our undying respect.







